Diagnosed with epilepsy at age 41

I’ve been diagnosed with epilepsy at age 41. Isn’t it funny the kind of surprises life throws at you?

I had my first seizure 2 years ago. At the time the neurologist told me that he was not concerned. One seizure does not make you an epileptic, he told me.

1 1/2 years and a second seizure later, he told me, the medication to control seizures is very strong so its ok for you to wait and see first since the seizure is so infrequent. It might not be necessary for you to take a medication with many side effects to control something that happens infrequently. Both seizures occurred in bed so there was even less reason to take any medication for it at the time.

The recent seizure incidents took place 1/2 year after the last so looks like theres no escaping medication and its side effects now.

I’m now on anticonvulsant drugs. It made me feel so sleepy the first few days I was on it. I’m less sleepy now but still feel drugged, woozy, spaced out or dazed at times. I’m told that these effects will go off in a couple of weeks. Drowsiness is just one of it, there is a long list of other possible side effects.

I love things natural and hate pill popping but now I have no choice but to pop pills twice a day. I hope it helps to control the seizures as these things work differently on different individuals and its so subjective. They would normally start you on the lowest dosage and work their way up if it doesn’t control the seizures so I can never be sure….

I feel so lost. I sit here thinking of what lifestyle changes I have to make to be on the safe side. My husband has asked me to read up as much as I can about my condition. I would normally do that, ie read up as much as I can because with understanding and knowledge, comes better management but at the same time I’m afraid to read. The more I read, the more frightened I become. Maybe I’m just in denial.

I’m lost and I’m worried. Worried about the children. The people around me tell me that the experience appears more traumatic for me than the kids but still I worry even though they appear fine and I worry that if I fall unconcious they may get into mischief on those times when no one is around. I have arranged for someone to be around most of the time but its not possible for that all of the time. I have also stopped carrying or lifting the kids because the last thing I want is for someone else to be injured when I awaken. I’m also worried each time I walk up or down the stairs. So many ifs… and what ifs…. I think I’m thinking too much and should just go and have some fun with the kids now and stop thinking. There you see. I told you I am in denial. I just don’t want to think about it. And when hubby talks to me about his ideas and suggestions just because he is concerned and wants to talk to me about it, I almost want to get mad at him because I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to face my greatest fear.


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13 thoughts on “Diagnosed with epilepsy at age 41

  1. I am sure your fear are very reasonable considering you have just been diagnosed with the condition…
    With proper medication control… I have known a few people with the same condition have gone through their life as normal as the rest of us 🙂

    p/s: try not to think so much into it, I am sure good people like you will deserve much blessings from the one above 🙂

  2. I emphatize with you and I know the experience must have been really difficult and harrowing. Though it will take time for you to regain confidence in yourself again, you definitely will.

    I wish to share with you what I believe which is taken from Matthew 6:28 – 34 which reads as follows:-

    “28”And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

    Tomorrow has got its own set of worries. Worry not over what tomorrow will bring. Live your life to its fullest and enjoy the family that you have now. Like what you were thinking, spend your time with your kids. We will not be able to control our own life, no matter how much we try because our life is in the hands of our Maker. Do not let doubts and fears rob you of the joy of living.

  3. It is reasonable for you to feel the way you feel at the moment. In fact, you writing it out could be a therapeutic help.

    Worry yes, but don’t let the worry overcast the moments that you can share with your kids and family. Hang in there and will keep you in prayers.

  4. I can feel your sadness and anguish in your post but at the same time, I’m glad you are sharing this in your blog. In a way, it will relieve you of the stress, no matter how little, it helps.

    I know it’s hard to hear things like “Be positive, chin up, etc” but sometimes we just gotta remain super tough for the kids. Perhaps I’ve said too much. Take care & I wish you strength to overcome this.

  5. I wish I can find a way to make you feel better or perhaps words that can keep you strong and going and give you encouragement to face with the unknown, but I’m really not good at that.

    If you need a ear , a shoulder or whatever … I will be here.

    Dont stress yourself too much and like what Jesslyn said “THINK POSITIVE”

  6. Take it one baby step at the time. It’s really ok to ask so many questions and not have them answered. Just take your time, refocus on what’s important… you being with your family.

    Always here to hold your hand..

  7. oh dear..i’m so sorry to hear that! there’s so many things you have to consider now as in lifestyle changes…. I can totally understand that you are worried and feel lost. I guess the best thing you can do now is to educate yourself more about it and learn how to cope with it. Easy for me to say…is there a cure to this?

  8. Here are some suggestions that may help.

    Find an adult to be with you and the children, if you can. I heard that acupunture can help but of coz not medical proven. You may want to research more.

    Stress and worry can make it worst. Maybe take a break and rest more. Find an helper to help around the house.

    Lastly, I really hope you will recover from it all. Take good care of yourself.

  9. Life is certainly not fair, my dear friend, I guess the best anyone can do is to take one day at a time, there are too many if, what ifs to prepare for. ((Hugs))

  10. I wish I can say the right things to take away your fears and worries but it’s always easier to say things and difficult for the one who’s going through it. Take each day as it comes and believe God will see you through this. Will pray along with you. Big Hugs!

  11. It’s good for u to ‘pour’ out whatever, if not, in ur blog or to ur friends and don’t keep everything to urself. Who knows, there might be ‘someone’ out there who’ll be of help. I do suggest u get a helper to help u, be it housework or to take care of ur kids. U need to rest more. Take good care of urself ya?

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