Thanks to all who came by and dropped encouraging comments. I’m done venting for now. Did I sound like I was about to crumble or fall to pieces? Haha. I hope not. Life goes on and so must I.

I have taken some preventive measures for safety but these are not foolproof but is anything ever? After the first seizure two years ago I arranged for a part time helper to come in a few times a week. Now she comes in daily for more hours each day. So now I am officially a full time lady of leisure. Hahaha. I can have more time to play with and hug my kids.

Hey, this should make me a stronger, better more loving person but I find that I am still the same old complaining, impatient, grouch. Oklah, bagi chance lah. Half the time I feel sleepy or drugged from the medication. The other half, I feel fearful and frustrated when my sleep gets disturbed by the kids or the spouse and so I show my black face and frustration at them.

But I know I must not let the psychological fear of getting a seizure become worse than an actual seizure itself so I must learn to control it. Otherwise the family will suffer too. This condition is hard not only on the individual who has it but on their families too.

The poor spouse who comes back tired from work now does not have anyone to manja him. He only gets a tired, fearful wife whom he feels he must constantly watch over. Hmm… I hope we can get over this stage and move on the way we were before.

The kids too must not pay the price of a tired, impatient mum but then I’ve always been a tired, impatient mum so theres really no difference. Lol! 

Hubby says I should get back into easing into an exercise routine which he feels is good for me and so I shall. I am also trying to take it easy and relax more but that feels so strange. I realise that I have always been rushing around that I have forgotten how to relax! So now, I really should learn to listen to some relaxing music, read some magazines, paint my nails but it feels really strange to be doing these things. I don’t even have a good music player and nice CDs although I love music.

I must learn to relax more, exercise, sleep better, eat well etc. But then so must all of you reading this. Don’t take your good health for granted. 🙂

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