Update on my condition

This is a rojak post. I just want to get some stuff off my chest.

  1. I have been on the medication for more than a month now. At first it made me so sleepy I slept on everybody’s couch and I’m the type who can only sleep in bed not on couches. At first it gave my right eye a twitch, I think.
  2. I’m afraid to stand in front of my dressing table and look in the mirror now because it gives me bad memories. Memories of standing there one moment and losing conciousness the next.
  3. I feel pressured to sleep and my husband pressures me to sleep too. And the more pressured I am, the harder it is to sleep. When I don’t have enough sleep eg sleep late and wakes up early I feel extremely worried and try to make up for it the next day and when I can’t, I feel even more worried and it gets harder to sleep. Aarrrggh! I hate it. Theres got to be more to life than just sleep! I also feel guilty when I have some free time and I don’t use that to sleep! I believe that lack of sleep is a trigger for my seizure so its a vicious cycle. In this case fortunately the medicine and its drowsy effects helps occassionally.
  4. I have ordered 3 books on epilepsy to read but they have not arrived yet.
  5. I feel more relaxed now and like to pay more attention to the  people who are important to me, mainly my family.
  6. I complained about some of the potential side effects of the medication like weight gain, acne etc. My husband says they are only small things but I can’t help it. I am woman and I am vain. I joke with my girlfriend that if I have a seizure I already look quite awful, I don’t want to look awful and be fat and pimply at the same time. You won’t understand this unless you are a woman. Lol!
  7. I am saddened that this means that we can’t have the 3rd child we both want.
  8. I am back to doing my exercises now. Perhaps I shall get more exercise videos so I can do more routines. Hubby does not understand why I need new exercise tapes but then he is a man. Lol!
  9. I am afraid to walk down the stairs or take a bath alone or boil water or handle a knife alone or be in public places alone. Perhaps I shall get hubby to accompany me when I take a bath. *wink wink* But then another side effect of the medication is lowered libido. Hmmmm……
  10. I wish I could drive again. I haven’t driven in 2 years and this is a big loss of independance to me. Looking at the bright side, I am now “si tau poh” and gets driven everywhere I go!

Ok. Enough ranting for the day.

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8 thoughts on “Update on my condition

  1. Hey MG, hope you are feeling much better now.
    I don’t really know much about your condition so can’t give much input.

    I will be writing more about it so people will understand more about epilepsy. 🙂

  2. I got nothing smart to say, for once. So just know that I read from far far and watch from far far.

    Just keep the humour coming ma’am. 🙂

  3. My dear friend, all I can do is give you virtual hugs, a shoulder to cry on if you ever need one and a listening ear. Wish I could do more. Let me think how I can make you smile. Ahhhh…I go write “surprise” post for you.

    Thank you for the nice surprise post. The doll made me smile and yes you are special! 🙂

  4. MG, though you may call it a ‘ranting’ post but I feel anyone reading this will appreciate what you have to say and learn from you. Your strength and sensibility is also something that we can all take on board.

    My prayers are with you. I sense deep down, you will let nothing stop you from leading a normal life and enjoying every minute of it with whatever you do and remain positive.

    Hi Judy, Long time no see. What strength? What sensibility?

  5. Just to let you know I’m still here…and I still read your blogs. 😉 Hang in there, ole’gal!

    Thank you so much for letting me know you’re still here. It means a lot to me. Yunno, these days, becos I blog hop a lot less, my visitors are a lot lot less too. Previously as soon as I publish a post, I would receive comments almost immediately and if I check back in a while, there would be quite a lot of comments. Now….. my blog visitors have all gone. Boo Hoo Hoo. Maybe they don’t like it that I write paid posts but I see almost everyone writing paid posts now and their visitors didn’t drop like mine has.

  6. Hopped over from Firehorse’ blog. Must be tough with the recent diagnosis. But one must be positive always, and look on the bright side, you have supportive family and friends…and a money making blog!

    Take Care…

    Hi NomadicMom, Thanks for dropping by. I almost accidentally deleted your comment as spam! Haha. Thanks for reminding me to look at the positives. 🙂 Oh, and if  you drop by more often, I will make more money. Lol!

  7. Came over from Firehorse’s blog. dont worry, I am sure you will get better. My niece was diagnosed with it at age 9. She has been on medication for last 3 years. Now she is 12, and they say there is slight improvement. However her confidence has plummeted because it could strike at anytime,and the worst was during exams, and she has suffered with poor grades. She doesnt quite fully understand it, but she is very brave, and is having her challenges head on. You can too.

  8. Hang in there .. MG..!! and keep that spirit up.. and high..!! and keep positive..!

    I try to write more positives in my blog and try not to rant all the time and that helps. Writing positively helps me to think positively but of course there are days of low spirits too.

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