She’s not the same anymore AFTER we got married!

In order to prevent the situation where you lament that your partner is not the same anymore sometimes its important to do a little exercise as follows.Â

Can you think back to the time when you were dating and about all the nice things you did for each other and then let your mind float back to the present and think about now. Does he/she still treat you the same? You should also ask yourself Do YOU still treat him/her the same?

I remember when I was his girlfriend and he said he wanted to have home cooked meals, I would drive home to my apartment after work, cook up a meal for the both of us then pack them nicely into a tiffin carrier before driving to wait for him at a petrol station to wait for him. Yes, thats right. I didn’t have the key to his place and he worked later than me. So I would wait for him at the petrol station with my little tiffin carrier of hot home cooked food. He would call me on his way home and we would chat on the phone while I waited for him.

Ahhhh what a sweet girlfriend. No wonder he married me. Hahaha. And what has he got now? A grouchy old lady who shouts at the kids when he gets home. 😛

What about him? When we dating, I remember once on my birthday, he bought me shoes then told me he was taking me on a trip to walk on those new shoes. Another time, he bought me new tyres for my car and then took me on a trip on those new tyres. Haha.

Now what have I got now? For my recent birthday he surprised me with something I had wanted all my life. A piano. Then the next day he took me to the bookstore to buy a “Learn to play the piano on your own” book. And then he signed me up for piano lessons and told me that he will send me for my piano lessons and wait with the kids for the half hour lessons to finish before going home together. I’m so excited. I can’t wait for my first lesson even though I’m probably the oldest student there but who cares!

He knows that learning to play the piano is my lifetime dream so he is now making my dream come true. Now I can truly say that I married my the man of my dreams. Hahaha.

Ok. So whats the point of this exercise? Well comparing the us then and the way we treated each other then and the us now and the way we treat each other now, I think I better….. BUCK UP before my man decides to change model. Better increase those back rubs, foot massages and feeding him fruits along with the kids while he relaxes in front of the tv after dinner which he likes AND reduce the shouting at the kids. Hahaha.

What about you? Do you still treat each other the same? Care to share?


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  1. sesame says:

    That’s sweet. That he bought you not only a piano, but actually bothered to sign you up for lessons. You’ve got a good hubby there!

    Must have follow through action mah, then only more meaningful.

  2. Marie says:

    Hi Mumsgather, I belum kahwin can’t make any judgement yet. So far, for the past nine yrs my H2B still as sweet as before. But dunno after marriage. He’ll probably turn into a Monster. If he really turns into one, first thing, I’ll run to YOU!

    Wah. You paktor for 9 years ar.

  3. oliviasy says:

    hehe, sweetnya~

    Oh there were years in between where we just didn’t do anything for each other because we simply didn’t have the time but now that the kids are older…. Hehehe.

  4. dragonmummy says:

    Wah..your lou kong so thoughtful.

    I have not thought about the before and after on myself. But I always complain he isn’t expressive like before.

    Mine has never been expressive so I don’t expect him to change. Haha.

  5. Judy Leese says:

    What a lovely husband. My husband will not dream of doing anything special. He very boring one lah. Hahaha. Yes, we need to sit and reflect on the things they do for us and count our blessings.

    You better hang on to him tight, tight, ok? God bless you.

    Haha. Ok. I hang on tight tight.

  6. simon says:

    well i suppose two people change over the course of time, usually adapting to each other…

    Hi Simon. Yes it would be good if the two halfs of a marriage influence each other to become better persons instead of the other way around. 🙂

  7. chinnee says:

    eversince we had qiqi, all hubby’s attention went to her….i always complain about that, but dont really mind about it 🙂

    Usually its the husbands that complain that all the wife’s attention has gone to the kids. Hehe.

  8. clair says:

    Better stamp on his forehead “Keep off, Mumgather’s Property” to warn all the girls at work LOL!

    Haha. That sounds like a good idea but forehead seems a bit too obvious. Maybe I’ll stamp it on his chest while he is sleeping. Lol!

  9. sasha says:

    almost the same…just that we talk to each other louder….stare at each other more….dun touch or hug each other that much. Other than dat..ok la

    Hahaha. Talk to each other louder yes la but I thot pak tor dat time stare at each other more wut, no? Now stare angrily, last time stare lovingly izzit? Lol!

  10. kat says:

    When we were dating, I make him cookies and he will be impressed and eat them all up. Now I make him cookies, he eat one or two, and say it’s too sweet and fattening!! 😛
    I am thankful that he is a responsible father and husband, even though there are times we are both too tired at the end of the day for each other – him with work, me with kids.
    One thing I have noticed though, I work harder at our marriage than our courtship. I guess this is a good thing??

    You are right. We work harder at our marriage than during courtship.

  11. Angeleyes says:

    For us, he used to say “i’m easy” which means he’s fine with anything I suggest but now is “we go here or we do that” hehehe

    Your loa-kong so nice wor… let u have all the piano stuff… my dream also to learn to play the piano again someday but I don’t think my PB will grant me that wish… LOL

  12. Hijackqueen says:

    Last time my man doesn’t nag and yell. Maybe eat too much of my saliver. *sigh…

    Wah like dat, I better stop nagging and yelling, otherwise too much of those saliva fly around, he oso become like dat.

  13. Sweetpea says:

    that’s so very nice of him.

    mine is just the opposite. he will ask what i want. and if i said no need, he will really get me nothing. but that’s just him, kayu 🙂

    i can’t say we still have that passion in the fire anymore, but we are comfortable. i used to ‘teh’ him a lot, but when u do a lot to a kayu, i myself ‘mou yan’ already, so i stopped lar. i cannot clap with one hand.

    but in the nutshell, i guess we are comfortable with each other and we still make the occasional surprises for each other. not bad lor, hor?

    One thing my hubs keep on telling me is to tell him exactly what I want him to do. “I can’t read you mind”. He is always telling me. So maybe you should tell him exactly what you want instead of saying “Nothing”. Hehe.

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