Reading Sesame’s post on My Blogging Boundaries Defined reminded me that I wanted to blog about Blogging Relationships and Blogging Friendships but had forgotten about it. She echoes my sentiments exactly and I really liked the way she had put down her blogging boundaries.
That brings me to the subject of Blogging Relationships. I still can’t quite fathom Blogging Friendships. Its a very strange new way of socialising or getting to know people. In the real world, when you meet someone new for the first time, you make small talk, you smile at each other and then you move on. It may take several more of these small talk sessions before you really get to know one another.
But in the Blogging World, you share intimate details about yourself and then perfect strangers come to you and say “Hey! I’m like that too!” and then you start a conversation and sometimes that leads to a Blogging Relationship or Friendship. You get to know each other intimately or very well immediately or right away. Sometimes you just click right away with another Blogger. There is no need for small talk or putting up fronts as we sometimes do in person.
Sometimes when the Blogging Boundaries are crossed and you come out of your Blogging World and meet in the Real World, you feel like you know this person for years. In fact you feel like you know your Blogging Buddies for years irrespective of whether you meet. Lol!
The other strange thing is that with Blogging Relationships, sometimes it disappears as quickly as it is formed. Friendships can go poof! in the air overnight almost as quickly as it is formed. You meet like ships in the night and you part the same way. I hate it when that happens. Sometimes you think you really click with your Blogging Friend and then that person disappears from your Blogging World suddenly without a word. It can be rather disappointing. Disappointing to know that the Blogger you consider your friend did not think of you as one. Maybe they were commenting just for the sake of commenting and when they think that your blog is no longer as popular as before they move on along with the droves. Its disappointing to know that you’ve made a wrong judgement about people and their sincerity. On the other hand its also nice to know that there are people who genuinely care about you even though they’ve never met you.
Its easy to dissolve or end a Blogging Friendship because the only thing that keeps it going is if you continue to visit and comment on each other’s blogs. “I visit your blog house and your visit my blog house and we continue our conversation regularly.” If you don’t cross the boundary of becoming friends out of the Blog World than be prepared to have your Blogging Relationships disappear overnight. Blogs can disappear overnight and those that visit you regularly can stop commenting suddenly making you wonder why.
Come September 2007, I would have been blogging for 3 years now. I take my annonymity seriously so the only way I keep in touch with my Blogging Pals is through our blogs. Sometimes I receive caring emails to enquire about my wellbeing but thats it. I have found that some of those earlier Blogging Pals have come and gone replaced by new ones. I guess that is the same as in the Real World too. Friends may come and Friends may go as the season changes.
What do you think about Blogging Relationships? What sort of Blogging Relationship do you have with your regular Blog Visitors? Did your relationship cross the boundary and you meet out of the Blogging World or do you prefer not to meet and keep it that way?
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I get disappointed too when I thought I had made some friends through blogging but when they stop commenting, I really wonder what happened. Was I so boring that the ‘friendship’ had to come to an abrupt end? I have also come across some others whom I had really high regards for but after we met, i realised that the fun loving and caring personality portrayed through the blog was only a farce. In person, these people were entirely the opposite! So how does one really know?
Blog personality can be very different from real personality eh? Better not believe everything you read. 😛
I tend to blend both blogging and real life together because there isn’t much to separate the two. Having a personal blog that’s not anonymous means that whatever life I have is known to people as long as I choose to blog about it.
It’s only natural that any relationships formed will progress to actually meeting people.
The only problem is where I am. It’s not exactly a good place to meet people because everyone I know is somewhere else. That’s why everything still remains on the net…at least until I have the opportunity to make something real out of it.
I’m the opposite of you. Having an annonymous blog means my friends don’t have privvy to my blog accept for the very closest. Hehe.
Well, I call myself a “slow cooker”. I tends to take things very slow, be it in the blogsphere or real world.
Like reading blog and commenting, I would probably be lurking for a while before I actually make my first comment… lol.
There are blogs which I read for almost a year but still never make any comment. It’s not because I don’t like the blog, but more like I don’t what to comment.
But I guess, be it in the blogsphere or real world, initiative plays a big role in maintaining friendship.
Initiative! Thats the keyword. Many blogging kawan left me because I don’t take the initiative to visit their blogs. It takes two hands to clap but unfortunately I just can’t manage to find the time! 🙁
I’m one that has been following your blog since the very early days, but I hardly comment because some times I don’t know what to say or might be saying the wrong thing.
I don’t have high expectation on the friends I met through blogging, no doubt there are a few that we clicked and chatted over MSN and Gtalk, but really dare not have high hope that the friendship will last.
“If we no longer has common interest – make $$$ via blogging, will we still be chatting online?” That’s my question.
I blog and I’m very much in my own world. I don’t feel the “ummph” of going out to meet the people I met in the blogsphere. 🙂
I’m probably a good 15 years or more older than you? Hehe. Yet we click because of circumstances. We both are SAHM with a boy and girl around the same age so we are experiencing the same things. If not for our blogs we would not have met. And like you, I’ve been reading your blog since you started blogging but don’t always comment. 🙂
Well, I’m quite a social butterfly, so, I’ve met a few bloggers. Heck, I came from the IRC world. Back then, everyone meets everyone. Now, it isn’t the case. Back then the chatting world was new and “innocent”; now, I would think twice when meeting someone new.
One has to be careful these days but I think judging from their blogs you should be able to tell who is “safe” to meet and who is not isn’t it? Still theres always a small risk…
I think the relationship can only be enhanced when the topics being posted strike a common accord. It’s very much the same with the relationships out there – the more you have in common, the closer you are likely to be. There are times though that the more you know each other, the more different you are with one another and naturally, the relationship slowly drifts out.
So … is that why you don’t visit my blog anymore? Boo Hoo Hoo. Waaaaah…. Throws tantrum. (Hehe. I’m influenced by the little ones at home. All that tantrum throwing makes me feel like throwing one.)
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Hi,
Great post ! Love it..
I still new in blogging world. So far still trying out to meet new bloggers.. =)
Keeyit, here’s to many more fun blogging years to you. Cheers! *Clink clink* (champagne glass)
You have put much more thoughts in this post. Very well said. The problem I’ve had with so call blogging friends are after awhile they think they know me so well and start to make unsolicited and judgemental comments. That really got on my nerve.
While I like to interact, but I rather keep a distant cos if I don’t even know the blogger in person, why should I reveal my personal information. Some of them ask for my address because they say they want to send me things. Why invade my privacy just because they read my posts daily? I’m happy to keep it as a blogging relationship, like you have put it.
Yes, judgemental comments are a no-no because no matter how much you think you know a blogger, you actually really don’t. You can’t believe everything you read.
Spot one! Great one. I have a handful of friends way back from school days and we remain close. Strangely enough, I have also found myself a handful of blogger friends whom I feel I relate to very well and it’s as if we have known each other for years. So far, I have only met one blogger and I respect her very much and she is such a lovely, giving, helpful and genuine person. There are a few whom I would love to meet and I know we will get on like a house on fire. I hope I am not wrong there but then, nothing venture, nothing gained!
Yes, strange isn’t it that sometimes you feel closer to your blogger friends whom you’ve never met compared to a personal friend you’ve known for more years.
Great post MG. I definitely don’t get as many blog visitors as you do, so it’s much easier to return blog visits, and also keep track with Bloglines.
My blog is not anonymous, so it’s read by family and friends (hopefully) and others I’ve not actually met before. Like Judy, there are a few blogging friends that I would love to meet, although I’ve yet to attend any Bloggers’ meet before.
Dobbs, I have a longer blogroll simply because I am a new parent (meaning my kids are still little) and theres many new parents on the blog so we come together but I still remember that my searching for “cross stitch patterns” on google brought me to your blog. 🙂
You echo my sentiments. I try to remain as anonymous as I can but yet I have connected with some blogger mommies via SMS & emails. I’ve actually only met up with one so far because I am quite selective and careful when it comes to extending a virtual friendship to a real one. I guess like everything else, there are pros and cons and we just have to handle with care.
For me, sms pun takdak and until recently, I did not display my email address prominently. Only those who were extremely resourceful found it and contacted me. Hahaha. However, I have included my email address in all my blogs recently because I find that it has cut off those who were trying to get in touch for me for help privately.
No lah, I do visit your blog but sometimes like a politician, no comment 😉
I thought politicians talk a lot? 😉
Great post! I’m still new to the blogging world so still haven’t quite figured out this blogging r/ship stuff. I’ve also try to remain as anonymous as possible so I guess that makes it a little harder for pp to know me. Maybe that turns some pp away? I dun know. I would love to meet some bloggers but also hesitant since I’m not very social. Aiya.. so complicated…hehe…..
Hahaha. Yes, so complicated or maybe its just us. We make it complicated. Hehe.