In-laws dynamics and family gatherings

“Not another family gathering of yours??!!”

This is a loaded statement and one that could lead to big arguments for most married couples. Hahaha.

Thats right. For most Asians, when you marry, you don’t just marry the man or woman, you marry the family! So unless you’re made of exactly the same mould and your spouse is very sociable, loves company and gets along like house on fire with your family, this is a source of disagreement for most couples.. well, at least the couples I know unless you beg to differ. Well, then you are very lucky indeed.

“Whose family gathering should we attend? Your side or my side? Why does you family has so many get togethers? You’ve attended so many of your own family gatherings, now its my turn. I’m not going to visit your brother/sister/*fill in the blanks* etc etc etc.” Take your pick. Theres lots to argue about. Lol!

The trick to settling these kinds of arguments is COMPROMISE!

Fortunately for me, hubby is not close to his family so we only have one side to argue about. Kekeke. We agreed that we won’t attend each and everyone of my nephews’ and nieces’ birthdays and make it only for the important dates (though if left to me decide, we would attend each and every one of them. Haha.)

Well, I have a big family gathering or rather getaway looming. I need help to persuade hubby to go. Help! (If you don’t have problems in this area then please refrain from commenting as I don’t want to suffer from a bout of enviousness. Lol!)


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4 thoughts on “In-laws dynamics and family gatherings

  1. Haha! this is so common, that it happens to me too! But u’r right, the key is to compromise and i’m glad that it always work out for me & my hubby. He’s close to his family and i’m very close tomy family too! So we sort of have a common understanding that when it’s a bday or festive gathering, we will attend. And lucky me, so far those dates havent clashed even once!

    Thank you for visiting my blog. 🙂 You are lucky the dates don’t clash. The fight gets worse when you live in different kampungs and its balik kampung time. Hahaha. Fortunately for me, my kampung is in Penang whereas hubby’s kampung is in KL so we don’t have to balik kampung. We live in his kampung. Lol!

  2. Oh i have this problem all the time. we always end up arguing and making comparisons. it’s not healthy at all and sometimes i dread this kinda gathering.

    Whether you dread it or not depends on whose side of the family the gathering is for. Hehe.

  3. I’m not married but my married relatives do it this way: Sometimes they visit together and sometimes the wife visits alone (or with kids) while the husband does his own thing / work / watch tv / rest at home. Then the husband picks the wife up at the end and say a one-minute “hi bye” to everyone. Seems to work quite well. What do you think?

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