Archive for November, 2007

When I was 12, I attended a strict all girls school. I did reasonably ok in school. I was not those top of the class kids, just average, not a prefect or anything, just average, but that was ok. I wasn’t a straight As kid. I got Bs and Cs but that was ok. I didn’t receive any pressure from anyone. Mum was no longer around. Dad was too busy working to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads to nag me about my studies so I didn’t receive any pressure.

I joined the school Choir because I wanted to, because I loved singing. There was no pressure for me to join this or that. I wanted to learn the piano but we couldn’t afford it so dad said how about learning the organ instead which is cheaper. I said ok and he bought me an organ through hire purchase spread out over 12 years. There was no pressure to learn music. I learned because I wanted to. Thanks to Dad I now can continue my music lessons years later.

I cycled to music classes on my own. It was quite far from my house. I had to go through several traffic lights and roundabouts to get there. My sister taught me how to cycle at the back lane of our house. She pushed me all the way down the back lane, back and forth she pushed me till I got my balance. There was no one to watch over us fearfully.

After reading about  yet another case of a child who commits suicides because of poor grades, I can’t help but feel that when I was 12, I lived in a much better world, a carefree world with little pressure and a safe world where children were safe to be on their own without the need to be in the watchful eyes of their parents or a guardian 24 hours a day. Sigh….

Last night I had a bad dream. I dreamt that I had colored pages and pages into a coloring book but had no recollection of doing it. I dreamed that I had colored my bears purples and pinks etc. Everything was colored badly. There were no shades or different colors for each object. Everything was colored in one color.

I told my bros and sis, thats not me. I would color everything nicely, not ugly in one color like this and I don’t remember doing it. Look. I told them theres so many pages of it too. I don’t remember coloring any of them. I must have had a seizure without knowing it, I told them. Perhaps I had a seizure and I was doing this repetitive task and now I can’t remember a thing.

I guess that my subconcious fear has not gone away. I still fear my seizures. I fear the feeling of having a seizure and not remembering it afterwards. I had one day erased from my memory on that day when I had 3 seizures in a day and it was scary. My sister told me that I didn’t sound like myself, that I sounded sort of whiny when I spoke to her after recovering from my seizure. Its strange to not remember. Feels as if I had been a walking zombie or something. I do not remember anything that I said to my husband or children. He said that the second time it happened that day, I had called him and told him that my girl had informed me that I just had another fit. I don’t remember any of it. I worry what the kids felt, being alone with me when it happened. It was on the 1st of April. What a stupid April Day’s joke I had played on myself, I thought. OMG, I’m going to stop this train of thoughts right now.

Last night I read a bedtime story to the kids. There was a line in it which said “Nurse Elephant tells her patients that it is no use feeling sorry for themselves. There’s always someone who’s worse off than they are.” I’ve only had a few seizures and they seem under control now with medication. Only a few seizures and I’m scared shitless. My doctor tells me that he has many patients, some of them who have several seizures daily. Some, once a week. My once a year or two pale in comparison to what these other people are going through. I wonder how they lead their lives but I guess they just go on. There is no choice. You just go on, just like everybody else.

Have you ever been up close and personal with an executive search firm whether as a candidate or a client? Do you know how an executive search firm works?

I have worked closely with an executive search firm before previously when I was organising a conference on executive training, recruitment and appraisal. We got someone from the industry to give a talk on how they do executive searches and placement.

An executive search firm is a relationship-driven business. They work very closely with both client and candidate. They talk to the client to review each assignment and requirement with great detail. Then they go through their extensive database and utilise industry contacts to get the best, most qualified candidate for the job. The candidates are well-screened and assessed by going through a very thorough interview and selection process.

The executive search firm is involved every step of the way and continues to coach the candidates and guide the client all the way till client and candidate meet up. In this manner they are able to get the best match for the client and candidate. This is exactly how A.E. Feldman Associates, Inc works. With its headquarters in New York, they fill up positions nationally for both middle and top executive positions… from associates to partners… and from analysts to managing directors.

I do more of this……

and this….

much more than this…

I’d still rather eat this….

and this…..

and this……

rather than this….

So when I step on the scales….

This is what greets me…..

Errr…. malu to say that my lose 5 pounds in 5 months resolution is not errr…. showing any results so far. Bleargh!

I Love Smorty. I am sure that my blogger friends who write reviews or get paid to blog know what Smorty is but to those who dont’………. Smorty is an intermediary between bloggers who get paid for blogging and advertisers who advertise on blogs.

Advertisers who wish to advertise on blogs can get connected to bloggers via Smorty. As a Blogger, I love Smorty for its easy interface, prompt payment and its opportunities which I don’t have to fight for. I just have to refresh my Smorty page at the right hour to find the right opportunities. Most opportunites pay USD6 per review but I’ve been lucky to get some good paying ones as well.

I like its Payment History page which gives me a good record of the payment I received and for which review I did. This is a good record for me (I’m not very good at keeping records). It helps me keep track of my reviews easily.

As I’ve mentioned the interface is really simple. The rules, terms, process and FAQs are laid out in such a way you can easily find them for reference anytime. This applies to both Bloggers and Advertisers.

Bloggers, once you accept a campaign you have up to 72 hours to write about it. You write a minimum of 150 words and then you get paid within a week. Its that simple. Why not check it out. You can sign up via the picture link below. You won’t lose anything, you only stand to gain a minimum of USD6 per post. Its really nice to get paid doing something you love and one thing I know, most Bloggers love Blogging!

My husband is a family man. He goes grocery shopping with me and he enjoys our little family routines. He likes to spend time with the kids and he likes to come home early to see the kids. He likes to still have some energy left for them in the evenings when he returns from work. Usually he doesn’t though. He leaves home very early before everyone is awake. By the time he gets home, have dinner, does some work, he is usually so tired he falls asleep immediately. This leaves us only the weekend for the family.

This makes him a hero in our eyes but what does this make him at work? I am afraid that in these competitive times and in the corporate world, leaving work early does not look good. It makes him stand out like a sore thumb. It makes him a loner. It is a daily struggle for him.

I know he works hard, very hard. He brings leaves work early and brings work home because he likes to do his work in the comfort of home with the kids around him. He tries not to mind the distractions. Unfortunately I don’t think companies or bosses view leaving work early as being very ambitious. I’m afraid that if he turns down yet another drink session with the team in order to spend dinner with his own family instead he will be viewed as not a team worker.

It is hard for me to watch him struggle. We are a one income family. So his struggle is even worse. With me not working, we have no financial back-up so he must hold on to his job no matter what, no matter how tough, no matter how stressful. He has to struggle on day after day, working at peak performance, there is so much work and so little time. It would not be hard to sucumb to work, to spend more and more time at work and less and less time with the family but he tries his best not to, tries his best to go against the flow….

The flow against the tide of people fighting where only the fittest will survive. When you reach a certain age, a certain level, the fight gets worse. There are some who will push you down so they will rise. The others are too busy struggling against the current themselves to care about you. In a corporate culture where spending a lot of time at work, travelling, speaking, networking, you are a loser if you don’t comply to or meet those high standards. It is not easy to be a family man in this type of environment where you have to swim or sink. For a woman at least, to a certain extend, there is some understanding that she needs to spend time with the family but for a man its usually “Your wife can take care of it.”

Why is it so hard to balance work and family? Why must the scale tip towards work? Why don’t employers realise that a well balanced employee who has a happy and healthy family life is more productive than one who spends 12 hours at the workplace?

If I happen to speak to him at work, I can hear that he is tense and very, very busy. He speaks quickly and his sometimes his curt and tense speech takes some time to adjust at home. It is really not easy to switch from work to family. It takes a while. The weekend helps but it is over too quickly and then it is back to the grind again.

Sigh. I’m ranting because I feel for my man. I feel his tension and stress but I don’t know what I can do to help him. I feel so helpless….

Taking care of the elderly can be extremely exhausing physically, mentally and emotionally especially if the elderly person has special needs like dementia. Sometimes you reach a stage where you think the elderly person will be better being cared for by care specialists. I hope this is an option we don’t have to take because there are not many good care home options here. Not like in the UK.

I read that apart from the normal nursing homes, in the UK, they also have other interesting options like residential care for example. A positive option for many people, residential care varies from small family-style homes to homes with 5-star hotel standards. There are even residential care homes that specialises in caring for people with dementia. The difference between a nursing home and a residential care home is the fact that nursing homes provide 24 hour medical care for those who are frail, bedridden or ill.

Another option is care at home. Under this option the elderly person can choose to stay in their present homes or move to a more suitable home like housing with care or a sheltered or retirement housing. The elderly person can seek a local authority assessment and if eligible could receive a range of home care services through a home care agency. These services provide support in their own home for tasks like cleaning, shopping or help with bathing and personal hygiene, getting in and out of bed and cooking etc. 

In the UK, home care services is provided by Local authority social services departments, private as well as voluntary organisations giving the elderly person a good selection of home care choices.

Do you read trashy women’s magazines? You know, the kind which don’t really have any articles of substance, only pictures of clothing, shoes, handbags, cosmetics, more shoes and handbags and cosmetics and articles like “How I stole my best friend’s boyfriend” blah blah blah?

Well, I read them. They are especially useful in the following areas or circumstances….

• in the toilet while doing big business or pretending to do big business but really hiding from the kids
• outside the toilet while waiting for the kids to do theirs
• in any place where you have to take a number and wait hours (Tip:If you’re going to govt offices or other places where theres none readily available, best to anticipate and bring your own)
• at the hairdressing salon (if is a long visit like having a perm, can go through several during the several hours you have to endure for beauty’s sake. I hate having my hair done.)
• in the bus or plane but not car (in car read can pening dunno why)
• at the clinic (although I’m usually more careful with those if they look well read - takut germs)
• to win contests (its extremely easy to win something if you write in. Have won jewellery, watches, cosmetics, vouchers etc…)
• to get goodie bags

So, on a weekend morning, I dragged hubby and two sleepy kids along with me to collect a goodie bag from The Malaysian Women’s Weekly at Robinsons. Hehe. Hubby looks at the snake long queue and says “Huh? So many people read this magazine ah.” Hehe. After collecting my goodies and shopping, I then dragged hubby and the reluctant kids along to spin the wheel for a chance to win some more goodies. Hahaha. Unfortunately, no such luck ler. Only won a voucher which hubby promptly threw away. “What for you need this?” I surely don’t but I still enjoyed the thrill of anticipation of winning. Hehe. Then he added “Are you disappointed you didn’t win anything. Don’t be lah…”

Still not satisfied, I then demanded that he gave me the receipt of our purchase so that I could clip it to a contest form and enter a contest for more chance of winning. “Eh, what if we need the original receipt to return the product?” Seeing my dissapointed face, he said “Oklah nevermind, go and submit your contest form.”

His verdict at the end of the trip. “You dragged me all the way here on a weekend morning to collect dunno what and we spend even more money!” and then he shakes his head and smile. My verdict. Woohoo! He loves me! (although he seldom says it in words, only in actions like this) He accompanies me to do all these silly things sportingly. Hehe. I wonder if I will win anything. No need first prize. Last prize also nevermind. Lol!

Humidity in the home can create damp patches on the walls and other health related problems like mould and mildew. I use my airconditioner as a natural dehumidifier but I know some people who buy dehumidifiers to do the job. The humidifier can help to reduce humidity in the air that causes mould growth. It would be especially useful in storage rooms or the basement where the air is more humid.

If you are shopping for dehumidifiers you can shop by brand, as most people do. Or you can select a humidifier based on the area of coverage that you want or the number of pints of water it outputs per 24 hours. These are some shopping options you can think about.

Apart from some of the shopping options I listed above, you can of course also choose to shop by price. Budget is always a consideration when shopping for anything, including dehumidifiers. A good place to start would be a dehumidifiers comparison site on the net. These would give you all the shopping options PLUS user reviews. User reviews are another great way to shop for products. I always read user reviews. Do you?

“If you have nothing nice to say don’t leave a comment”  This should be the silent rule of blogging but it is not. One of the bad things about having a blog is the fact that you open yourself up to uncalled for criticisms. You don’t get that in a personal diary but you get that on an online personal diary.

In my 3 years of blogging I have never received a negative comment probably because I am usually careful about what I write. I have also never left any negative comments on anyone’s blog because I believe that if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say it. 

Yesterday an anon called me selfish.

Here is what she said in response to this old post of mine.

“ I think your comment about not asking grandparents to help out is rather selfish. My mum lost my dad three years ago and all she lives for now is the grandchildren. She loves being with them, especially when it’s just her and them, and if I didn’t ask her to help out from time to time her life would be pointless. I know lots of grandparents who live far from their kids and it tears them apart. It’s good for the kids too to know their grandparents really well before it’s too late. “

I think that it is an uncalled for comment and the anon obviously did not understand my post. I did not say that children should not interact with their grandparents.

Oh well, I guess that as a public blogger, you will always be open to these kinds of remarks when someone reads your online journal. A blog is afterall a personal diary and as in any personal diary, you will put in your own views which may sound self righteous to others who do not know you or follow your blog.

Those who follow my blog will know that I do not like the idea of leaving kids to be cared for by maids and elderly parents. By this I mean to allow maids or elderly parents to take over most aspects of child caring like feeding, washing backside or changing dirty diapers, wiping vomit, bathing, toilet training, and dealing with whining, pleadings, tears, endless questions, temper tantrums etc etc ie the hard part. To me, the hard part of child caring should be over for our elderly parents. They have done their part and now their part as grandparents is to play with and interact with our children ie in doing the fun part of child caring and dote on the grandchildren and NOT look after them fulltime.

Those who follow my blog will also know that I understand that sometimes personal situations may not permit any other arrangements. But then here comes an anon who does not follow my blog, who reads only one blog post and then calls me selfish based on my personal view which she obviously did not understand. I am irked. Yes I am. I guess this is the part of blogging which is not so fun.