Archive for November, 2007

When I was 12, I attended a strict all girls school. I did reasonably ok in school. I was not those top of the class kids, just average, not a prefect or anything, just average, but that was ok. I wasn’t a straight As kid. I got Bs and Cs but that was ok. I didn’t receive any pressure from anyone. Mum was no longer around. Dad was too busy working to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads to nag me about my studies so I didn’t receive any pressure.

I joined the school Choir because I wanted to, because I loved singing. There was no pressure for me to join this or that. I wanted to learn the piano but we couldn’t afford it so dad said how about learning the organ instead which is cheaper. I said ok and he bought me an organ through hire purchase spread out over 12 years. There was no pressure to learn music. I learned because I wanted to. Thanks to Dad I now can continue my music lessons years later.

I cycled to music classes on my own. It was quite far from my house. I had to go through several traffic lights and roundabouts to get there. My sister taught me how to cycle at the back lane of our house. She pushed me all the way down the back lane, back and forth she pushed me till I got my balance. There was no one to watch over us fearfully.

After reading about  yet another case of a child who commits suicides because of poor grades, I can’t help but feel that when I was 12, I lived in a much better world, a carefree world with little pressure and a safe world where children were safe to be on their own without the need to be in the watchful eyes of their parents or a guardian 24 hours a day. Sigh….

Last night I had a bad dream. I dreamt that I had colored pages and pages into a coloring book but had no recollection of doing it. I dreamed that I had colored my bears purples and pinks etc. Everything was colored badly. There were no shades or different colors for each object. Everything was colored in one color.

I told my bros and sis, thats not me. I would color everything nicely, not ugly in one color like this and I don’t remember doing it. Look. I told them theres so many pages of it too. I don’t remember coloring any of them. I must have had a seizure without knowing it, I told them. Perhaps I had a seizure and I was doing this repetitive task and now I can’t remember a thing.

I guess that my subconcious fear has not gone away. I still fear my seizures. I fear the feeling of having a seizure and not remembering it afterwards. I had one day erased from my memory on that day when I had 3 seizures in a day and it was scary. My sister told me that I didn’t sound like myself, that I sounded sort of whiny when I spoke to her after recovering from my seizure. Its strange to not remember. Feels as if I had been a walking zombie or something. I do not remember anything that I said to my husband or children. He said that the second time it happened that day, I had called him and told him that my girl had informed me that I just had another fit. I don’t remember any of it. I worry what the kids felt, being alone with me when it happened. It was on the 1st of April. What a stupid April Day’s joke I had played on myself, I thought. OMG, I’m going to stop this train of thoughts right now.

Last night I read a bedtime story to the kids. There was a line in it which said “Nurse Elephant tells her patients that it is no use feeling sorry for themselves. There’s always someone who’s worse off than they are.” I’ve only had a few seizures and they seem under control now with medication. Only a few seizures and I’m scared shitless. My doctor tells me that he has many patients, some of them who have several seizures daily. Some, once a week. My once a year or two pale in comparison to what these other people are going through. I wonder how they lead their lives but I guess they just go on. There is no choice. You just go on, just like everybody else.

Have you ever been up close and personal with an executive search firm whether as a candidate or a client? Do you know how an executive search firm works?

I have worked closely with an executive search firm before previously when I was organising a conference on executive training, recruitment and appraisal. We got someone from the industry to give a talk on how they do executive searches and placement.

An executive search firm is a relationship-driven business. They work very closely with both client and candidate. They talk to the client to review each assignment and requirement with great detail. Then they go through their extensive database and utilise industry contacts to get the best, most qualified candidate for the job. The candidates are well-screened and assessed by going through a very thorough interview and selection process.

The executive search firm is involved every step of the way and continues to coach the candidates and guide the client all the way till client and candidate meet up. In this manner they are able to get the best match for the client and candidate. This is exactly how A.E. Feldman Associates, Inc works. With its headquarters in New York, they fill up positions nationally for both middle and top executive positions… from associates to partners… and from analysts to managing directors.

I do more of this……

and this….

much more than this…

I’d still rather eat this….

and this…..

and this……

rather than this….

So when I step on the scales….

This is what greets me…..

Errr…. malu to say that my lose 5 pounds in 5 months resolution is not errr…. showing any results so far. Bleargh!

I Love Smorty. I am sure that my blogger friends who write reviews or get paid to blog know what Smorty is but to those who dont’………. Smorty is an intermediary between bloggers who get paid for blogging and advertisers who advertise on blogs.

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