My rojak state of mind

Today I have no direction. My mind is not focussed so my blogging is the same. I shall write in random what is in my mind..

  1. I just finished playing barber for the two kids. I think girl’s hair is much easier than boy’s to style. In addition, my girl who is older will sit still for me to trim whereas my boy makes it sound like I’m torturing him. “Don’t want already. One more only. Painful. Waaaah.” I had to promise him some Ribena and Ice-cream after the haircut and hairwash.
  2. Sister is away with her family on vacation so Dad and her maid is here. I experience what its like to have a live-in full time maid. She is a good cook. That is the best part.
  3. Dad will not bathe. Its been like this for months now. We all have a headache of trying to get him to bathe and change and… He gets up in the morning and does  nothing and says not much but sit on the sofa or lie on the sofa till its bedtime. I managed to get him to soak his dentures and brush it for him while he is asleep. I managed to get him to change so that I could wash his clothes otherwise he would wear the same clothes day in and day out and to sleep as well. It pains me when he looks at me for confirmation each time “Put this (the dentures) in here is it?” “Take out this shirt is it?” It pains me to watch dad this way. Big sister managed to get him to bathe last week but I haven’t tried yet.
  4. Am having a cold war with the man of the house because he won’t attend yet another family gathering of mine. I know he hates these gatherings but we’ve only been to two this year. It is now December. I so wanted to bring the kids. I am very disappointed. I hate asking him to attend my family gatherings. I hate being hopeful and then being let down. The answer is usually no but I never learn. I am always hopeful then usually disappointed. I hate cold wars. I don’t normally go to sleep angry with the spouse but I am disappointed and I am tired. Sigh.
  5. Because I am upset and unhappy suddenly all is not right with my world. Its funny isn’t it how our perception of things can change. From being content I suddenly feel like a recluse who is totally dependant on her spouse for transport and entertainment.
  6. Maybe I will go and subscribe for that magazine I like. I haven’t bought myself anything in ages. I think I need some pampering, pampering by me. I look at all the wonderful fragances and other promotions for Christmas. If only I could pamper myself with some of those without giving a thought but I can’t. A magazine subscription will have to do. At least it’ll make me happy each month.
  7. Sometimes he makes me feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I wish he wouldn’t do that and he wishes that I am more supportive. This is a typical  He says She says situation. We’re both thinking different things. When will we meet in our heads again? When will we find harmony again? We all need harmony in our lives. The kids can help sometimes. Kids can become a glue to a relationship yet they can also be the wall. Fortunately our set is often the glue.
  8. I chatted with my friend today. She has been sick again and she still can’t decide whether to have a hysterectomy to remove cancerous cells. She sounds cheerful. She makes dark jokes. I hope she is well. I hope she will know what to do.
  9. The weather is dark and gloomy, like my mood. I don’t normally rant on my blog but I guess it has helped to rant a little.
  10. I feel better now.


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7 thoughts on “My rojak state of mind

  1. Thanks for droping by my blog. U have a nice blog here. Sometimes, it’s good to throw out our feeling. At least it makes us feel better after that rite? Cheer up mum!

    Yup! No one to talk to so talk to myself on the blog or explode. Haha.

  2. Awww…hopes things will straignten up at the end. I know how tedious it is to have to fight to attend family dinners. I am in the same situation myself, making it worse is that my family goes out of the way to make DH feel welcome. Its just DH’s ego that he dont want to be seen as the SIL who spends too much time with the wife’s family. Still a constant issue between us.

    No ego trip here, just a dislike for gatherings in general.

  3. yeah…good to have a live-in-maid to clean and even cook! How I miss my MIL’s maid :(

    But can have nightmares too. Its reading those nightmare moments from others that stops me from getting one even though it would be useful for me with my condition.

  4. Cheer up. The dark cloud will be over soon. Sometimes, life is like that. There are times when everything suddenly turn upside down. But there are times when you feel really lucky.

    If time allows take a good nap. That’s what I normally do. Sometimes when things tend to bottle up, I will cry secretly but really hard, then go to bed. My way of releasing tension and stress. As for you, forget the crying, just take a good nap, half and hour is good sometimes.

    If you haven’t bought yourself something for a long time, it’s time to pamper yourself for this Christmas. Sometimes spending makes you feel good, especially something you really like and worth getting. Besides, reading is a good habit, why not?

    Take care. Things will work out.

    Thank you Dolphine. Its still raining and dark here today but like you said, the sky will be be clear again and so will I. :)

  5. Hi MG, I have been a regular silent reader of yours for ages, since getting her thru MMB. I am writing to say that I can totally identify with no.5 ‘Because I am upset and unhappy suddenly all is not right with my world. Its funny isn’t it how our perception of things can change. From being content I suddenly feel like a recluse’ and no. 7 ‘Sometimes he makes me feel like I’m walking on eggshells. This is a typical He says She says situation. We’re both thinking different things.’ Especially for the past week due to ‘too much’ family time as we’re clearing our leave. I guess this entry not only helps you, but it helps me feel better too. thanks :)

    And thank you for reminding me about this entry. :) I just wrote on my Mothering Times blog that “A successful marriage depends on two things, finding the right person and being the right person.” I’m still struggling at being the right person. Hahaha. We had another misunderstanding again this past week too and I guess my New Year resolution for 2008 would be to reduce misunderstandings because the more of those we have, the bigger dent it is we make to our relationship. Hope you had a good Christmas holidays and Happy New Year to you.

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