Comments on: What to do to prepare for arrival of maid? http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/ My very own mini, personalised, parenting resource. A cyber filing cabinet of parenting articles and links. I love sharing my children's favourite sites, online games, crafts and exchanging childcare stories and parenting issues faced with other parents. Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:34:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Moomykin http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-189682 Moomykin Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:19:19 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-189682 Sometimes I feel like we need a maid because the boys are so active, I want to do stuff with them and not worry about chores and give my in-laws a break, but I had one bad experience at my mum's and now I really try not to have one. Also hubby treasures his privacy and freedom too much. Hahaha... Our probable option in future would be a come in helper like twice or 3 times a week. Hope you have good helper. <strong>Agent tells me part timers are usually better workers then full timers. So thats a good option for you. I would prefer that too if I could. I used to have a part timer for 2 years. It worked out very well but I think she left for more money eventually.</strong> Sometimes I feel like we need a maid because the boys are so active, I want to do stuff with them and not worry about chores and give my in-laws a break, but I had one bad experience at my mum’s and now I really try not to have one. Also hubby treasures his privacy and freedom too much. Hahaha…

Our probable option in future would be a come in helper like twice or 3 times a week.

Hope you have good helper.

Agent tells me part timers are usually better workers then full timers. So thats a good option for you. I would prefer that too if I could. I used to have a part timer for 2 years. It worked out very well but I think she left for more money eventually.

]]> By: Florence http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-187133 Florence Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:34:12 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-187133 When I had my first maid, I was sooo clueless, did not really lay down the ground rules..instead.. as and went she does something not right.. I will correct her...but really... it should be done at the very beginning... they do take advantage.... Authority!!! Don't make the mistake I made, I was toooooo nice to the point she never apologizes when he makes mistake, lack of manners and stuff... So... be nice but also make sure she knows there is line/boudary.... she is with me almost 2 years and believe it or not... I never really scolded her! As for my hubby.... he thinks I am too lenient to her..which is true... and we also argue alot because of the maid!!! So...make sure you and hubby are on the same level on how you want the maid to be.... I always treat her well in terms of food and accommodation... human afterall... at times.. you should have personal chats with her so that she won't feel soo lonely...afterall.. she is away from home and family... it's always good to give her some personal space... <strong>Oh yah thats true hor. Must be on same level as hubby. Haha.</strong> When I had my first maid, I was sooo clueless, did not really lay down the ground rules..instead.. as and went she does something not right.. I will correct her…but really… it should be done at the very beginning… they do take advantage….

Authority!!! Don’t make the mistake I made, I was toooooo nice to the point she never apologizes when he makes mistake, lack of manners and stuff… So… be nice but also make sure she knows there is line/boudary…. she is with me almost 2 years and believe it or not… I never really scolded her! As for my hubby…. he thinks I am too lenient to her..which is true… and we also argue alot because of the maid!!! So…make sure you and hubby are on the same level on how you want the maid to be…. I always treat her well in terms of food and accommodation… human afterall… at times.. you should have personal chats with her so that she won’t feel soo lonely…afterall.. she is away from home and family… it’s always good to give her some personal space…

Oh yah thats true hor. Must be on same level as hubby. Haha.

]]> By: michelle http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186862 michelle Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:22:38 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186862 Wow I see many readers writing blogs post on your comments box..... For me, I just let her settle down and do simple chores first few days. By the way, when it comes to teaching, you will need lots of patience. I send her home after 9 mths because she just refuse to learn and I totally lost it. <strong>The beauty of blogging is its like having your own personal forum. Very useful. To get so many helpful comments and suggestions over 1 or 2 days, I'd have to call up 20 friends. Haha. Don't think thats feasible.</strong> Wow I see many readers writing blogs post on your comments box….. For me, I just let her settle down and do simple chores first few days. By the way, when it comes to teaching, you will need lots of patience. I send her home after 9 mths because she just refuse to learn and I totally lost it.

The beauty of blogging is its like having your own personal forum. Very useful. To get so many helpful comments and suggestions over 1 or 2 days, I’d have to call up 20 friends. Haha. Don’t think thats feasible.

]]> By: JoMel http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186847 JoMel Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:10:31 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186847 I'm talking about her passport.. but many runaway maids ran away with nothing... So.. I am confused too.. <strong>Yah, one agent told me, if they really want to run away, they will even if naked not to mention passport and money.</strong> I’m talking about her passport.. but many runaway maids ran away with nothing… So.. I am confused too..

Yah, one agent told me, if they really want to run away, they will even if naked not to mention passport and money.

]]> By: Baby Darren http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186442 Baby Darren Fri, 11 Apr 2008 04:24:16 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186442 I thought of sharing some points with you but after reading everyone's comments, seems like they have said it all. One thing to add is, although we don't eat together but we always take out her portion of food first before we started eating. So that she is not eating leftover. There is no rule who must eat first coz it is not important. She has to be full in order to carry out her tasks. So it is fine for me even if she eats before me. She has her own set of utensils. Do treat her like a family member, like do talk to her; if she is not doing anything, can invite her to watch some general tv programs with you like cooking programs (she needs entertainment as well but make sure is under your permission); I'll educate her things also when I read some articles (so she is more informed); I also chit chat with her when free (so you know what she is thinking and also she is not so bored only doing work at home). I guess if we respect her, she'll respect us too. She got to be "happy" staying with you, so that she won't get attracted to the outside world so much. She also got to be "happy" and "respect" you, so that she won't listen to outsiders so easily. I totally disagree treating a maid like a "maid" coz they need a life too. Do not treat them like "aliens" coz if they feel lonely, that's when they start to think of funny things to do. Good luck to you....hope your maid comes with a good heart!! <strong>Though everyone has said it all, you still managed to come up with new pointers for me. Thank you so much. :)</strong> I thought of sharing some points with you but after reading everyone’s comments, seems like they have said it all.

One thing to add is, although we don’t eat together but we always take out her portion of food first before we started eating. So that she is not eating leftover. There is no rule who must eat first coz it is not important. She has to be full in order to carry out her tasks. So it is fine for me even if she eats before me. She has her own set of utensils.

Do treat her like a family member, like do talk to her; if she is not doing anything, can invite her to watch some general tv programs with you like cooking programs (she needs entertainment as well but make sure is under your permission); I’ll educate her things also when I read some articles (so she is more informed); I also chit chat with her when free (so you know what she is thinking and also she is not so bored only doing work at home).

I guess if we respect her, she’ll respect us too. She got to be “happy” staying with you, so that she won’t get attracted to the outside world so much. She also got to be “happy” and “respect” you, so that she won’t listen to outsiders so easily.

I totally disagree treating a maid like a “maid” coz they need a life too. Do not treat them like “aliens” coz if they feel lonely, that’s when they start to think of funny things to do.

Good luck to you….hope your maid comes with a good heart!!

Though everyone has said it all, you still managed to come up with new pointers for me. Thank you so much. :)

]]> By: kat http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186408 kat Fri, 11 Apr 2008 02:56:52 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186408 Aiyo, after reading all the comments, I lagi dun want maid!! :D I do understand for you, you cannot avoid it and have no choice but to get a helper. It's great that you have so much feedback here to be better prepared! :) <strong>I oso dunwan lah Kat.</strong> Aiyo, after reading all the comments, I lagi dun want maid!! :D

I do understand for you, you cannot avoid it and have no choice but to get a helper. It’s great that you have so much feedback here to be better prepared! :)

I oso dunwan lah Kat.

]]> By: adrian http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186137 adrian Thu, 10 Apr 2008 18:14:17 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186137 What happened to JLow's brother, happened to me. My maid din get pregnant tho. My 2nd maid was with us for 3 yrs, we had intentions to extend her contract for another 2yrs. That's how much we 'loved' her. She was the best. U din have to instruct her to do things. She took the initiative herself. She loved my kids. Got along well with my wife (u now how hard that is). We trusted her. We found out later, that whenever we went on holidays, she brought a guy into our home to 'spend the nite'. She admitted this to us later when she went back to Indon. I still dunno how she got in contact with the guy. <strong>Hmmm... thats why you say never ever trust your maid.....</strong> What happened to JLow’s brother, happened to me. My maid din get pregnant tho.

My 2nd maid was with us for 3 yrs, we had intentions to extend her contract for another 2yrs. That’s how much we ‘loved’ her. She was the best. U din have to instruct her to do things. She took the initiative herself. She loved my kids. Got along well with my wife (u now how hard that is). We trusted her.

We found out later, that whenever we went on holidays, she brought a guy into our home to ’spend the nite’. She admitted this to us later when she went back to Indon. I still dunno how she got in contact with the guy.

Hmmm… thats why you say never ever trust your maid…..

]]> By: JoMel http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186032 JoMel Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:19:48 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186032 MG, since so many others have already shared with you what they do at home with their maids, am not going to load you with more.. The new maids would have undergone some form of training and orientation prior to coming here and ground rules would have been laid by the agent's trainer. You must ask the agent, what have they been taught to do and not do. If there is a checklist, ask for a copy. Then, you "modify" as you see fit. Say, if you are comfortable with the maid sitting together at the same table, then do it and ensure that she knows to use the serving spoons. Whatever that you are not comfortable with, like her putting her clothes together with your pile, tell her not to do it. All these have to be laid out right from the start according to your wishes. Passport must be kept in the bank if you have a safe deposit box. Jewelleries too. <strong>I'm confused now. Are you talking about her passport or my passport. Hehe.</strong> MG, since so many others have already shared with you what they do at home with their maids, am not going to load you with more..

The new maids would have undergone some form of training and orientation prior to coming here and ground rules would have been laid by the agent’s trainer. You must ask the agent, what have they been taught to do and not do. If there is a checklist, ask for a copy. Then, you “modify” as you see fit. Say, if you are comfortable with the maid sitting together at the same table, then do it and ensure that she knows to use the serving spoons. Whatever that you are not comfortable with, like her putting her clothes together with your pile, tell her not to do it. All these have to be laid out right from the start according to your wishes. Passport must be kept in the bank if you have a safe deposit box. Jewelleries too.

I’m confused now. Are you talking about her passport or my passport. Hehe.

]]> By: wen http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186008 wen Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:50:08 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-186008 1. medical check up - yes, i brought my previous maid to another doc. when my SIL bought her maid for medical check up on her own, maid got hepatitis B 2. dining together - its up to u, but of course not using own spoon to dish the food lor. for me, we ate first, thenlater maid ate in the kitchen 3. laundry - maid washed her own with hand.(for my previous one) 4. Rules & Regulation- no stealing, running away, hitting or scolding my kids, no talking to strangers, guards, no stealing food, etc 5. i kept her passport in my bank. 6. salary- i bank into my newly opened acct which was mainly for her salary and she kept the bank book. my uncle banked into his own account which is mainly for her maid one, but she doesnt get to keep the bank book. she only has to sign on a piece of paper stating RMXXX have been banked into her acct. reason being is that bank got interest ma, why give the maid the interest and not keep for himself. in the end of the contract, maid only gets her salary wo bank interest..hehe.. 7. give her a list of what she should do everyday and on specific date. like 1st and 16th of every mth is to change bedsheet. i did that. 8. get her a bed? besheets, pillow and blanket. shampoo, soap, (i bought separate washing powder for her clothes cause mine is expensive, cant share with her), *sanitary pad, sometimes toothbrush and toothpaste, clothes, undergarments* - these can be bought after she arrives and check with her what she doesnt hv. 9. i was warned by a fren to ensure that maid doesnt hv err. this disease, something called lepea, etc, it has to do with down there u know. its contagious but no big harm. ensure ur kids doesnt share the toilet bowl ur maid will be using, not until u bring her for medical check up and have gotten back the result. 10. tel no - relatives can only call my HP no, but my SIL maid looked at their house tel bill to get hold of the hse no. 11. i was told to get maid to wake up early lie around 6 or 6.30am so that when ur kids r older and need to get up early and maid maybe needs to make milo, etc, she still can wake up at that time. if u allow her to wake up say aorund 7.30 - 8am, she might not get used to it later when u need her to get up early.. 12. resting- it depends on whether u allow maid to rest in the afternoon,. it also depends on wat time she gets up and sleeps at nite, if too tired oso cannot la, if she falls sick, jialak lor, have to jaga her too. i didnt allow my previous maid to rest in the afternoon coz got so many things to do and she was super slow, perhaps my new maid i might allow her to do so.. see how la 13. my room - i locked it whenever we went out and left her alone at home. as what other says, dont treat her like a slave, more like a family, and tell her to treat her so. tell her to work well at ur home and treat u and ur family as her family...? my maid didnt appreciate even after i told her many times. damn! now it all depends on ur luck!!! good luck!! <strong>Wen, Thank you so much for your list. I wouldn't have thought of all these things myself becos no experience mah.</strong> 1. medical check up - yes, i brought my previous maid to another doc. when my SIL bought her maid for medical check up on her own, maid got hepatitis B
2. dining together - its up to u, but of course not using own spoon to dish the food lor. for me, we ate first, thenlater maid ate in the kitchen
3. laundry - maid washed her own with hand.(for my previous one)
4. Rules & Regulation- no stealing, running away, hitting or scolding my kids, no talking to strangers, guards, no stealing food, etc
5. i kept her passport in my bank.
6. salary- i bank into my newly opened acct which was mainly for her salary and she kept the bank book. my uncle banked into his own account which is mainly for her maid one, but she doesnt get to keep the bank book. she only has to sign on a piece of paper stating RMXXX have been banked into her acct. reason being is that bank got interest ma, why give the maid the interest and not keep for himself. in the end of the contract, maid only gets her salary wo bank interest..hehe..
7. give her a list of what she should do everyday and on specific date. like 1st and 16th of every mth is to change bedsheet. i did that.
8. get her a bed? besheets, pillow and blanket. shampoo, soap, (i bought separate washing powder for her clothes cause mine is expensive, cant share with her), *sanitary pad, sometimes toothbrush and toothpaste, clothes, undergarments* - these can be bought after she arrives and check with her what she doesnt hv.
9. i was warned by a fren to ensure that maid doesnt hv err. this disease, something called lepea, etc, it has to do with down there u know. its contagious but no big harm. ensure ur kids doesnt share the toilet bowl ur maid will be using, not until u bring her for medical check up and have gotten back the result.
10. tel no - relatives can only call my HP no, but my SIL maid looked at their house tel bill to get hold of the hse no.
11. i was told to get maid to wake up early lie around 6 or 6.30am so that when ur kids r older and need to get up early and maid maybe needs to make milo, etc, she still can wake up at that time. if u allow her to wake up say aorund 7.30 - 8am, she might not get used to it later when u need her to get up early..
12. resting- it depends on whether u allow maid to rest in the afternoon,. it also depends on wat time she gets up and sleeps at nite, if too tired oso cannot la, if she falls sick, jialak lor, have to jaga her too. i didnt allow my previous maid to rest in the afternoon coz got so many things to do and she was super slow, perhaps my new maid i might allow her to do so.. see how la
13. my room - i locked it whenever we went out and left her alone at home.

as what other says, dont treat her like a slave, more like a family, and tell her to treat her so. tell her to work well at ur home and treat u and ur family as her family…? my maid didnt appreciate even after i told her many times. damn!
now it all depends on ur luck!!! good luck!!

Wen, Thank you so much for your list. I wouldn’t have thought of all these things myself becos no experience mah.

]]> By: A Married Man http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/11/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-185907 A Married Man Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:45:36 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/04/10/what-to-do-to-prepare-for-arrival-of-maid/#comment-185907 A Married Man recommends anyone to monitor the neighbor's maid first. Influence is destructive. <strong>I'm worried becos my neighbor's maid has a lot of freedom. I think she goes out of the house on her own more than me.</strong> A Married Man recommends anyone to monitor the neighbor’s maid first.

Influence is destructive.

I’m worried becos my neighbor’s maid has a lot of freedom. I think she goes out of the house on her own more than me.

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