Comments on: Maid Dos and Don’ts and Maid Horror Stories

By: physiomom

physiomom — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 09:39:42 +0000

I cant agree with you on the part that they are not here to take over the household. For employers like myself and my hubby who both work outstation and do not have anyone to watch over the maid, this cant be applied to us. That’s why we are very dependent on them and in a way need to gain trust in her. That’s why I normally take unpay leave for a couple of months to monitor her, later we had CCTV at home. We have no choice coz sending our 4 kids ranging from 9 to 2 is very costly and heavy on our pocket. But having said all these and recently the crisis really woke us up.It was a blessing in disguise that she never return. Our life has changed for the better apart from the financial strain. lucky she didnt runaway with my youngest whom she was very fond of.I think majority of these maid suffers from Mental problem. Mine was the Intelligently psycho one who knew how to plan the conn job from day one she came. Now I’m happier without maid, my kids are better trained with housechores and more independant , the house is cleaner and the clothes smell better..only thing can be as spendthrift and enjoy much like before in order to safe money. Sigh.

I still think that letting them take over the household is where the trouble begins. Whether you have a choice to do that or not is another issue. But thats only my 2 sens because I’m not in your situation. I can appreciate that sometimes you need to be in the situation to fully understand it.

By: allthingspurple

allthingspurple — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 07:57:31 +0000

I rather think the “luck” in maids depends on the maids’ demeanor itself. Those that I dont think are reliable at all, I only left them with housework. Those that are reasonably reliable, I still leave them with housework but I would let them carry the toddler and play with her. At all times, I still want to feed my kids myself,cook myself, run their bath myself and bath my kids myself, and mind my kids myself. Those that I dont trust (by virtue their numerous repeated forbidden dangerous and unhygenic actions) I don’t let them near my kids at all. I am paranoid that way. and at all times, my kids will never be left alone with any maids. It’s always me, MIL or school.

Put it down to bad experiences.

Of course I also have reasonably reliable maids before , but only one out of the many others. When i mean reliable, I dont mean housework, cos i really dont care about housework. I mean they don’t do forbidden dangerous things that may harm my kids.

I think you and me are alike in the sense that we like to take over the caring of the kids and cooking ourselves than leave it to maids.

In the case of leaving kids alone with maids, I think its better to be paranoid rather than sorry.

By: Baby Darren

Baby Darren — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 17:50:13 +0000

Glad to hear that you are so far “happy” with her and you have set yourself some rules. It is fine that if they will turn out lazy but at least you are still having control over your household thing.

Hope she will continue to be good…

I hope so too.

By: Elwi

Elwi — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:20:24 +0000

I think your maid will stay with you for long. Yes, I agree, maids are not our slave, just our assistants for doing house chores. But limited outsider influence especially from neighbor. My sister’s maid used to be good and obedient one and slowly change into racist and hate working with Chinese and ask to quit because of all influence she got from my sister racist neighbour.

Yes, I agree with you about the outside influences. Sometimes the outside influences can be rather negative. So, sad though it may be, we have to limit that. But no man is an island and everyone needs friends and recreation. So to make up for it, I feel we should encourage a hobby, give them magazines to read and allow them to watch TV and we should remind them from time to time that they are here to work to earn some family for their family back home. Because they are young and can be easily influenced by outsiders. I think as an employer we should consider their mental well being too.

By: Angeline

Angeline — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:22:52 +0000

the worst maid story I’ve heard was:
the maid made the baby suck her big toe while she was busy chatting on the phone!

Well, the one I heard was, when mom was out and dad found baby crying loudly, he went to the baby’s room only to find a naked maid standing there waiting for him.

By: Stef

Stef — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:30:44 +0000

First of all, it’s good to hear that you have a good maid. I know there are some who have not been so lucky. Do you know of any good maid agencies in Selangor?

Sorry Stef, I really am not sure. I would however avoid the little ones, in case they’re fly by night operators.

By: Rachel C

Rachel C — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:37:28 +0000

“You cannot expect perfection so closing one eye to some things would be good.” (Agreed)
Well, maid also human, we can’t expert her to be no emotional. They also have the fear to work in others country, they also worry they might get a ‘bad employer’…we heard lotsa story about maid, they also heard lot of story about the employer…
I treat my maid as part of my family members and I believe she also the same. I care about her own family too, sometimes her husband will sms me sending regrats to us. I don’t think this is too much or too nice. Afterall they can feel your sincerity.
I never order/commanded my maid to do anything, I only request her help. And sometimes we do discuss what to cook and what brands of house stuff is good. She will give me opinion of what to wear to work too :p…hahahaa and also will make sound if I stay up late at night.
Communication is very important. Normal chit chatting you will know your maid more. Try not to think that she is your maid, not to always order her to do this and that. Sometimes simple message can be complicated if our manner of passing it confusing..
Ahhh…I’m talking too much here :p

You sound like you have good communication with your maid. I agree with you about the communication part. Then sometimes ppl end up saying that their maid is stupid but they do not think about whether they have communicated well. An agent told me that a lot of maid/employer relationships fail because of “mistmatched expectations”, so I try to start with almost zero expectations.

By: rachel

rachel — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 08:37:25 +0000

whether good or bad, i kept my maid for 2 yrs.
i tolerated and she tolerated too la..i guess.

since u r at home, just keep an eye on her. for me i always encouraged learning. so i’ll let her read newspaper or magazines.

You cannot expect perfection so closing one eye to some things would be good.

By: Syn

Syn — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 05:58:15 +0000

totally agree with u on how we should treat the maid. i’m also getting so many types of feedback now but i’m just doing what i think is right. i’m also giving her the respect she needs as i expect the same from her. so far she is alright and like you said, it’s still too early to tell. here’s wishing us both the best of luck with our new maids!

Wish you all the best too.

By: Mama BoK

Mama BoK — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 04:13:30 +0000

Well..looks like you are starting with a positive note..and i’m sure..everything will turn out fine..! good luck..!

Thank you Mama Bok. I really hope so.