Comments on: How I Manage the Maid http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/ My very own mini, personalised, parenting resource. A cyber filing cabinet of parenting articles and links. I love sharing my children's favourite sites, online games, crafts and exchanging childcare stories and parenting issues faced with other parents. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:47:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: cutiemum http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-472880 cutiemum Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:52:48 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-472880 i've noticed some of ur layouts rules is being used for my new maid which is 3 weeks old working. my main concern is for her to look after 18 mths daughter and concern is that she's forgetful, like to talk back on me no safety measures taken after telling and repeatedly continuing with the mistakes.eg she let the stove on wout the fire being lited out until i can smell gas at the hall. when i asked her, her fav word is "maaf maam"or tak tau (don knw). the other incident is where my sons swimming pants is being iron even we have separated the clothes which need to be iron in a basket. there's other mistakes which she has made and again i will repeatedly advised her y it is wrong and also made scheduled time table to ease her work. what shocking me is that she had given my 18mth daughter hotdog to eat. when we ask her y she never follow the food allowed to be taken by my child. she just say the baby wants it, so i have to give. i'm still in the dlema whether to rturn back to the agent as i noticed she simply dont want to learn and take responsiblility. but my concern is the cost need to be add on as i need to pay for the new insurance and security again if i take a new maid.. just wonder if my luck is like a MASHED POTATO.. NEED SOME ADVICES ...:( <strong>Hi Cutiemum, I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems with your new maid. Its hard to give any advise without knowing your full circumstances, ie whether you are a working mother etc. One very important thing for me, is I try to minimise my maid's interaction with my kids. She is here to help me with the housework only, not with the kids.. but of course its easy for me to do this because I am a SAHM. If you're working, its a different thing altogether. I know its very costly to change maids, however at the end of the day, you must see how comfortable you are with the maid, and whether she is of help to you and your peace of mind at the end of the day. Is it worth it? However, she is still new, only 3 weeks. Perhaps you could try to first lower your expectations and then hand out instructions more regularly instead of leaving the decision making up to her. Thats all I can think of for now. You can always feel free to email me if you need someone to rant your frustrations to. :)</strong> i’ve noticed some of ur layouts rules is being used for my new maid which is 3 weeks old working. my main concern is for her to look after 18 mths daughter and concern is that she’s forgetful, like to talk back on me no safety measures taken after telling and repeatedly continuing with the mistakes.eg she let the stove on wout the fire being lited out until i can smell gas at the hall. when i asked her, her fav word is “maaf maam”or tak tau (don knw). the other incident is where my sons swimming pants is being iron even we have separated the clothes which need to be iron in a basket. there’s other mistakes which she has made and again i will repeatedly advised her y it is wrong and also made scheduled time table to ease her work. what shocking me is that she had given my 18mth daughter hotdog to eat. when we ask her y she never follow the food allowed to be taken by my child. she just say the baby wants it, so i have to give.
i’m still in the dlema whether to rturn back to the agent as i noticed she simply dont want to learn and take responsiblility. but my concern is the cost need to be add on as i need to pay for the new insurance and security again if i take a new maid.. just wonder if my luck is like a MASHED POTATO..

NEED SOME ADVICES …:(

Hi Cutiemum, I’m sorry to hear that you are having problems with your new maid. Its hard to give any advise without knowing your full circumstances, ie whether you are a working mother etc. One very important thing for me, is I try to minimise my maid’s interaction with my kids. She is here to help me with the housework only, not with the kids.. but of course its easy for me to do this because I am a SAHM. If you’re working, its a different thing altogether. I know its very costly to change maids, however at the end of the day, you must see how comfortable you are with the maid, and whether she is of help to you and your peace of mind at the end of the day. Is it worth it? However, she is still new, only 3 weeks. Perhaps you could try to first lower your expectations and then hand out instructions more regularly instead of leaving the decision making up to her. Thats all I can think of for now. You can always feel free to email me if you need someone to rant your frustrations to. :)

]]> By: KIm http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-393667 KIm Sun, 11 Jan 2009 00:23:17 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-393667 WOW, I can't believe your maid watches TV with you. It must be very different in Indonesia. I am a live in maid for a family of 6. As a western maid I am not permitted to socialise in any way with my employers,guests or children. In fact unless I am in my room (my time) I am required to be in uniform and on duty, so if "munchies" or drinks are required I am there to get them. You seem to have a very interactive approach towards your maid, helping fold laundry!,making your own bed!!, I find this very strange as I do 100% of the housework by myself. The only thing Ma'am does is the majority of the cooking as she loves to experiment in the kitchen. But she hates cleaning up, so I get to do that all the time. I think rule 10 should not be encouraged (maid being part of the family) as a maid I do not, and do not want to become part of the family. Not only does it create problems for the employer but also for the maid. I think it is much better to have what they used to call a master/servant relationship that way everyone knows where they stand. If I am told to do something (that I might not want to do ) I do it anyway because i am the maid, but if I was to become close to my employers as in "part of the family" I am sure I would become a bit resentful and think "why can't she do it". I have read other posts where maids have taken advantage of their employers and most of the time the thread goes like "but we treated her like one of the family" and she did so and so. What I am trying to say is if you were the CEO of a company you would not ask the cleaning lady to have lunch with you or help you choose a new outfit, and she probably wouldn't want to either. I have been in domestic employment for 7 years and I try emulate servants of past generations. All the bast, Kim. <strong>Thanks a lot Kim for sharing your point of view. It sure helps. :)</strong> WOW, I can’t believe your maid watches TV with you. It must be very different in Indonesia. I am a live in maid for a family of 6. As a western maid I am not permitted to socialise in any way with my employers,guests or children. In fact unless I am in my room (my time) I am required to be in uniform and on duty, so if “munchies” or drinks are required I am there to get them. You seem to have a very interactive approach towards your maid, helping fold laundry!,making your own bed!!, I find this very strange as I do 100% of the housework by myself. The only thing Ma’am does is the majority of the cooking as she loves to experiment in the kitchen. But she hates cleaning up, so I get to do that all the time. I think rule 10 should not be encouraged (maid being part of the family) as a maid I do not, and do not want to become part of the family. Not only does it create problems for the employer but also for the maid. I think it is much better to have what they used to call a master/servant relationship that way everyone knows where they stand. If I am told to do something (that I might not want to do ) I do it anyway because i am the maid, but if I was to become close to my employers as in “part of the family” I am sure I would become a bit resentful and think “why can’t she do it”. I have read other posts where maids have taken advantage of their employers and most of the time the thread goes like “but we treated her like one of the family” and she did so and so. What I am trying to say is if you were the CEO of a company you would not ask the cleaning lady to have lunch with you or help you choose a new outfit, and she probably wouldn’t want to either. I have been in domestic employment for 7 years and I try emulate servants of past generations.
All the bast,
Kim.

Thanks a lot Kim for sharing your point of view. It sure helps. :)

]]> By: sally http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-392148 sally Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:41:56 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-392148 Wow! Very informative and organized. I had lots of misfortunate with Indonesian maids before, most probably I had high hopes of them. I wished they were more well-informed, more hygenic and more trustworthy. Maybe i'm the unlucky ones :( I am looking for a maid as i'm coming back for good in few months time. Any reccomendations with reliable agents...? Thank you again, and I think this blog will be my daily read everyday :) <strong>I reduced my expectations to very very low. Maybe that helped in acceptance. ;) As for the agents, I don't know any reliable ones. They all seem to be the same con artists. *rolls eyes* Just don't go for any fly by night operators, thats all, I guess.</strong> Wow! Very informative and organized. I had lots of misfortunate with Indonesian maids before, most probably I had high hopes of them. I wished they were more well-informed, more hygenic and more trustworthy. Maybe i’m the unlucky ones :(
I am looking for a maid as i’m coming back for good in few months time. Any reccomendations with reliable agents…? Thank you again, and I think this blog will be my daily read everyday :)

I reduced my expectations to very very low. Maybe that helped in acceptance. ;) As for the agents, I don’t know any reliable ones. They all seem to be the same con artists. *rolls eyes* Just don’t go for any fly by night operators, thats all, I guess.

]]> By: Getting a new maid | sooyindotcom: baby, you & me http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-391893 Getting a new maid | sooyindotcom: baby, you & me Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:33:59 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-391893 [...] I came across one post that I like very very much from this blog, and I think the author has written a really good [...] [...] I came across one post that I like very very much from this blog, and I think the author has written a really good [...]

]]> By: MA http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-384924 MA Thu, 25 Dec 2008 21:38:19 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-384924 I think it's hard to maintain the balance between being friendly and being the "boss" when it comes to people who help you in the house. Whether it's a maid or a babysitter, too close is still to close. I think it’s hard to maintain the balance between being friendly and being the “boss” when it comes to people who help you in the house. Whether it’s a maid or a babysitter, too close is still to close.

]]> By: KittyCat http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-352489 KittyCat Tue, 04 Nov 2008 04:45:45 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-352489 If have a full-time maid, I'd do pretty much what you do too i.e. be THE mother while she helps with housework. I notice that most maids get bored too (and homesick) esp as they have NO off days or chance to mix with their fellow Indonesians. I can imagine how they feel as I'm surrounded by 100% Chinese all the time - seeing and talking to another Malaysian (or English-speaking person) is a MAJOR relief. Your maid is new and she's enjoying the novelty of being in another country. I think family outings or meets with other Mums with maids may help? At least you know who she's mingling with. Also, guess you've taught her how to call the emergency nos. (Hubby, your family etc) if needed, right? Btw, it's Filipina for women, Filipino for men :-) <strong>My maid is not new here. She has worked with another family with two young kids for two years before this. She had a lot of freedom with the other family because her main job was to look after the kids. She walked them to and from school, dressed them, fed them etc. However (according to her) she chose not to continue working with the family after 2 years because her previous employer was pregnant again and she was afraid she would not be able to cope with the extra work of handling a baby. She left them when they needed her more. Sad isn't it? We must not forget that they are here for the money so quite often there is no attachment or gratitude as some may put it. I didn't know that Filipina is for women because everyone seems to call them Filipino maids. :)</strong> If have a full-time maid, I’d do pretty much what you do too i.e. be THE mother while she helps with housework.

I notice that most maids get bored too (and homesick) esp as they have NO off days or chance to mix with their fellow Indonesians.

I can imagine how they feel as I’m surrounded by 100% Chinese all the time – seeing and talking to another Malaysian (or English-speaking person) is a MAJOR relief.

Your maid is new and she’s enjoying the novelty of being in another country. I think family outings or meets with other Mums with maids may help? At least you know who she’s mingling with.

Also, guess you’ve taught her how to call the emergency nos. (Hubby, your family etc) if needed, right?

Btw, it’s Filipina for women, Filipino for men :-)

My maid is not new here. She has worked with another family with two young kids for two years before this. She had a lot of freedom with the other family because her main job was to look after the kids. She walked them to and from school, dressed them, fed them etc. However (according to her) she chose not to continue working with the family after 2 years because her previous employer was pregnant again and she was afraid she would not be able to cope with the extra work of handling a baby. She left them when they needed her more. Sad isn’t it? We must not forget that they are here for the money so quite often there is no attachment or gratitude as some may put it.

I didn’t know that Filipina is for women because everyone seems to call them Filipino maids. :)

]]> By: Mom2ashleyaidan http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-349101 Mom2ashleyaidan Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:23:02 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-349101 I have all the same rules as you except for the keys part. She handles the keys during the day but when we sleep, we keep the keys in our room... <strong>I am usually around to handle the keys myself so that is why I can have this rule. She is still new. Perhaps when she is here longer, then I can relax the rule later on.</strong> I have all the same rules as you except for the keys part. She handles the keys during the day but when we sleep, we keep the keys in our room…

I am usually around to handle the keys myself so that is why I can have this rule. She is still new. Perhaps when she is here longer, then I can relax the rule later on.

]]> By: Immomsdaughter http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-348263 Immomsdaughter Thu, 30 Oct 2008 04:33:49 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-348263 These are very good tips MG. I like the idea how you try to include her and work as a team. I hope she appreciate your effort. <strong>She seems happy so far but I don't really know for sure because she has a tendency to agree with everything I say or repeat after me. :P</strong> These are very good tips MG. I like the idea how you try to include her and work as a team. I hope she appreciate your effort.

She seems happy so far but I don’t really know for sure because she has a tendency to agree with everything I say or repeat after me. :P

]]> By: momkidspace http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-347464 momkidspace Wed, 29 Oct 2008 08:21:10 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-347464 Hello, thank you for visiting my blog. I had add your blog to my blog list. Such a great information that you have shared. When my SIL gave birth, she wanted to hire a maid. But the maid is to live at my house, because she intended to ask my MIL (her mum) to take care her kid. My MIL also help me taking care my girl that time. But my MIL and my husband object because they say very difficult to handle and privacy problem too. <strong>Yes, there is a lot of maid horror stories out there and yes, privacy is a problem too yah. This is my first maid and I had a lot of reservations about hiring one too. BTW, thank you for adding me. :)</strong> Hello, thank you for visiting my blog. I had add your blog to my blog list.
Such a great information that you have shared. When my SIL gave birth, she wanted to hire a maid. But the maid is to live at my house, because she intended to ask my MIL (her mum) to take care her kid. My MIL also help me taking care my girl that time. But my MIL and my husband object because they say very difficult to handle and privacy problem too.

Yes, there is a lot of maid horror stories out there and yes, privacy is a problem too yah. This is my first maid and I had a lot of reservations about hiring one too. BTW, thank you for adding me. :)

]]> By: health freak http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-347431 health freak Wed, 29 Oct 2008 06:55:01 +0000 http://mumsgather.com/2008/10/22/how-i-manage-the-maid/#comment-347431 I have pretty much the same ground rules as you. I am surprised how your maid can be quite free most of the time. My maid has so much work to do until we have to tell her not to iron the hubs' clothes, otherwise, she will be sleeping at 12am everynight. My hubs' clothes are sent to the laundry to be ironed. <strong>Her daily tasks include helping me prepare foods for cooking and washing up afterwards, a little mopping, clean up bathroom and sometimes some laundry and ironing. That is all. We wash the porch and car just once a week. She doesn't help me with the kids. So that is why she is very free. However, I am glad for that help because otherwise I would be very busy. Hahaha.</strong> I have pretty much the same ground rules as you. I am surprised how your maid can be quite free most of the time. My maid has so much work to do until we have to tell her not to iron the hubs’ clothes, otherwise, she will be sleeping at 12am everynight. My hubs’ clothes are sent to the laundry to be ironed.

Her daily tasks include helping me prepare foods for cooking and washing up afterwards, a little mopping, clean up bathroom and sometimes some laundry and ironing. That is all. We wash the porch and car just once a week. She doesn’t help me with the kids. So that is why she is very free. However, I am glad for that help because otherwise I would be very busy. Hahaha.

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