Regarding the torchlight, maybe it’s not “rosak”, but need some batteries? So, maybe have to get her some extras for stand-by.

I did ask her if it was the batteries but she said it was not.

We didn’t get to take pics or our old house, only the front of the police club. Hahaha. As for the pics, I didn’t get any there on my camera because hubby was fiddling with the camera at the time instead of shooting at the time.

I wholeheartedly agree with your comments on not letting your maid do something that you wouldn’t do yourself.

I have seen the list that comes standard with every maid. It’s a sad reflection of how the system works.

Most employers cannot stand seeing their maid lying idle and give them endless repetitive tasks to do just to keep them occupied and “to get their money’s worth”. Is there a pressing need to wash ALL the cars on a DAILY basis?

Keep it up. We need more people like you in this mean world.

Thank you DaddyKhong. MummyKhong is doing a fantastic job herself and that cake she baked is marvelous. I only know how to buy store bought cakes.

The disproportionate number of maid horror stories and bad agent advice perpetuate a vicious cycle. Practical wisdom (reasonable restrictions appropriate with circumstances) combined with humane approach such as yours hopefully leads to a virtuous cycle. In any event, as humans with conscience, how can we ever justify harsh treatment, abuse and horrendous exploitation just because those horror (sometimes true) cases are given more publicity than the equally many successful ones?

This is precisely why I hope there will be more positive blog posts like yours about maid management so more employers can see the benefits of humane treatment of maids – a virtuous cycle vs a vicious one.

All it takes is a little bit of empathy, yes? How do you expect someone who doesn’t handle electrical appliances to know how? How do you expect someone who probably lives in a place where they don’t have grills to remember to shut our grills and doors? The agent hands them to us with very basic “training” but we still have a lot to do. “Training” not only includes housework but on safety and hygiene as well. When my maid first came, she squatted outside the house on her hands and knees then walked into the house with dirty feet and knees. I have to remember that her family are farmers and they may not have the same concept as us about having shoes outside the house etc. These things have to be reminded and taught to them slowly till they get used to it, not reprimanded and said in a way that may cause them to feel ashamed and embarassed.

I also never expect the maid to do anything that I would not do myself…….and my standards for myself are pretty low. I get burntout from too much housework easilly. I can’t wake up at 5am, wash two cars and a porch, make breakfast for everyone, handwash the clothes (as some maids are expected to do), get the kids to eat breakfast, mop the floor, wash the toilets, iron the clothes, prepare lunch, wash up, prepare dinner, wash up, feed the kids, bathe the kids, etc etc all in one day so I wouldn’t expect anyone to do that even if they’re paid to do so. And I wouldn’t reprimand anyone for breaking plates, burning pots etc because it can happen to me too. I would remind them to be more careful but I wouldn’t say that I would cut their salary! Just the other day, I broke a whole bottle of oyster sauce because it slipped from my hands. I was really glad the maid was around to help me pick up the glass pieces and wipe the floor. Two weeks later the maid broke a whole bottle of oyster sauce because it slipped from her hands. We have a good laugh and remind each other to be more careful because the oyster sauce bottle is very slippery after being kept in the fridge. I think this way she will try to be more careful herself in the future. Oops sorry. I got carried away. What a looong reply to a comment.

No. Esti or Isti sounds like a muslim name? My maid is Christian.

Oh. Fortunately my toilet is clean then.

What a totally different perspective from those I read at other mommy blogs. Reading those that describe maids as inhuman (or other unmentionable adjectives) one can’t help but get the sad impression that many Malaysian employers expect their (relatively cheap labour compared to S’pore and HK) maids to come fully equipped with skills and personal qualities to cater to their high (perhaps even unrealistic) expectations of hygiene, safety, attitudes.

Carelessness, inexperience, unfamiliarity with modern appliances have been attributed to stupidity, laziness and disregard for property. Impoverished backgrounds that might explain a tendency to succumb to temptation to eat (admittedly in excess) ‘forbidden’ foods which are probably relatively ‘luxurious’ food items have been attributed to gluttony, worse still, thievery. Which shockingly leads to some blogger mommies even urging for the maids to be sent to their agents for ‘teaching’ – which one can only assume to be some form of physical/verbal violence!

You’ve showed us, that all it takes is some empathy and consideration on the employer’s part to understand their maids’ needs and what might possible motivate their seeming greed and poor attitudes.

You’re really an exemplary employer!

You show us all that maids don’t come ‘perfectly’ tailored to our particular needs. That employers are also responsible/obliged to play their part in maintaining a healthy, productive relationship.

What really stands out is that your professional approach. It looks to create a satisfactory employer-maid relationship by problem-solving, leadership and team-working. This contrasts to a master-slave mentality of destructive suspicion, fault-finding and abusive name-calling.

You show us all that it takes 2 to tango, that a good working relationship requires equal effort from the employer too! What shines in your maid management is your recognition of the simple fact that maids are humans like us, they have emotional/social/safety needs.

I shudder to think what might happen in event of a fire, should a maid get trapped in the locked house b’cos regrettably she was simply and humanly careless/forgetful or inexperienced with cooking/electrical appliances.

What a terrible price to pay for a pittance of a salary should the employer think the careless/forgetful maid deserves any resulting injuries and curse her for the damage to property. One hopes for a realisation of the criminal negligence involved in disregarding simple safety precautions to prevent injury to human life.

You’re a real inspiration to those of us who have to rely on maids to keep our families function happily and healthily without losing our sense of humanity. Let’s hope there will be more productive/positive maid management blogs like yours!

Hi. Thanks for your generous comments! Perhaps one thing that prevents employers from being nice to their maids is the endless lists of horror stories out there. Despite us having a rather positive relationship, I am a little wary of her, not sure if I can fully trust her simply because of the constant drill into my head by agents and others including this advice:

I am also afraid to give her too much freedom for example even giving her a day off etc because I am afraid that she will be influenced by negative outside influences. Apparently there is a whole network or syndicates ready to pounce on these innocent, young, naive maids or at least I have that impression. She does get weekends off following us around to jalan-jalan and makan-makan but she does not have the chance to socialise with others apart from my small family. That is my worry about one part of her emotional and social well being not being realised but what to do? Perhaps it is for the better because sometimes they end up misled, pregnant, and give up their work permits etc in the pursuit of more money or what they perceive as better opportunities.

re the letter, some of the village where they stay doesn’t have any post office, it is very troublesome, normally if they really need to send letter, they have to go to the town where it could be far away, then it will be expensive for them to send a letter, they might think it’s better to use the money for other more important stuffs, that’s what I experienced with my previous maids.

but it’s good for her to write back to inform the father, some of the maids’ family even don’t know where they work!

Oh yes, my maid also told me that she has to send the letter to the nearest town which is up to a day away by lorry.

All the best to you, Henny. Its next week now. How’s things?