Despite wanting to remain positive and the numerous articles about growing old gracefully, I do not think that growing old is a graceful process, not when you have dementia and a bit of alzheimer’s.

Not when you begin to lose your dignity and confidence because you cannot handle simple daily tasks any longer. Not when bathing becomes scary to you and you no longer know how to button up your shirts and unzip your trousers. Not when you start having urinary and fecal incontinence and you have to start wearing diapers like a baby. Not when you have to allow your daughters to help you wear your diapers because you are embarrased you keep on wetting the bed.

Dad’s condition has deteriorated to this now. Sister will be away on holiday again for two weeks so dad will be coming to stay with us for a week till Christmas before going to stay with brother for another week till the New Year.

We’ve got ourselves some Christmas presents, books and toys and CDs and a wallet to replace my broken one. We wrapped them all up even though we already know what they are. Silly, but fun anyway for the kids. Even the maid has got two story books all wrapped up but what shall we get dad?

Hubby said that a digital photo frame would be a good idea. We could store pictures of the kids in there for him. I wonder if those digital photo frames comes with batteries. Will have to check it out. Its very sweet of dear hubby to have thought of this. I am touched. He is the caring “sai sum” (thoughtful) one between us two. I am the airy head one who doesn’t give much thought about things, well, not as much as him anyway.

I have discussed with big sis and I think I will get my maid to sew velcro straps onto his trousers to help make things easier for him. I feel sad because we can’t take him out to jalan-jalan and makan-makan as much as we would like to now because of the fecal incontinence.

I hope that when he is with us, he will have at least one good day when he reverts back to his old self and we have old dad back for a few hours instead of the quiet dad we now have. Dad used to be so chatty and clean but now he is quiet and he won’t bathe and change anymore and now he has incontinence. Poor poor dad.

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