Archive for February, 2009

My neighbour is doing renovation works. First he built his wall on MY side of the property while I was away. Then all the incessant drilling, and knocking drives me up the wall. Even as I type, I can hear *knock knock knock* *Knock knock knock*. And then the workers kept on throwing cement and other big chunks of knocked down wall into the drain causing my drain to be clogged up with drying cement.

My kids and I are sick so we spent all of Saturday at the doctors. This meant that we had to rush to buy our groceries on Sunday. Unfortunately, I discovered the back drain BEFORE we went out. Sigh. My maid and I spent time in the hot sun hacking into the drain and trying to unclog it before it got worse.

I’m afraid I overdid it. Aunt Flo is visiting, I am using antibiotics and after at least an hour out in the sun, I almost fainted when I got in the house. I had to sit down in the middle of the kitchen floor to recover. Later as I fed the kids their medicine my hands were still shaking. Now, wheres that darned contractor. I’ve got to have another word with him. We did mention this to him once before and he had his workers come over to clean the drain but after that it is back to square one. Why can’t they just cover up the drain when they are doing their work. Its only a simple measure that will save a lot of headache. *Grumble Grumble Grumble*

Sorry, I’m in a foul mood today. I feel like vomitting. The phelgms all stuck up my throat and my head hurts on and off. And that non-stop knocking *knock knock knock* is making my headache worse!

This renovation works is going to take a long more while to go, I’m afraid. Neighbour is pushing out his wall and adding rooms upstairs and downstairs. (and blocking my view of the sun). What to do? Stay in terrace house have to put up with this nonsense. Sometimes they work even on Sunday and I can’t have a good rest with drilling even on Sunday. Furthermore, everyday, I have to jaga my maid because there are at least 4-5 Indon workers living next door at the moment to work on the renovations.

This is my husband’s TV Dinner from yesterday.

So what is so special about this dinner? The vegetable!

I finally harvested my own homegrown vegetable after sticking the stems in the pot 6 months ago! Hahaha. Now I have to wait another 6 months before having another plate of these. Lol!

Thanks very much to Lian who inspired me to stick the stems in the pot.

What would you do if you saw an elderly person or a mother and a young child who appears to need your help? Would you help them or would you walk away? I am afraid that if you were to help them, there is a possibility that you would be robbed instead. That is the sad state of affairs we are in.

Earlier this week, my son’s kindergarten teacher had her handphone stolen. How? A mother and a young girl had come into the premises pretending to enquire about childcare arrangements. The mother asked to look around the premises, then she sat down with the teacher to discuss about childcare arrangements. The “mother” told the young girl “Girl, go and look around lah.”

Well, she certainly looked around, because when they left, the teacher’s handphone which was left lying on the table was gone. The woman had followed the principal to another premise to look at another center owned by her. She did the same thing there, asked to look around etc. Finally she left.

The teacher had been quick to contact the principal and they managed to track down the woman and the child at their car. An argument ensued and the woman instructed the girl to go to the car. The girl came back with an iron bar/rod. (I can’t imagine a young girl doing that. How can it be? A young girl!) Then they quickly got into the car and drove off as fast as they could. They had also given a false address because when the kindergarten checked later, there was no such person staying there.

The teacher and the principal chased after them but she drove too fast and they soon lost her. Of course they made a police report since the woman had threatened them with an iron bar. They were worried about the safety of the kids. What if the woman came back with more accomplices to show her anger?

Apparently this woman and young girl modus operandi is not new. One even took off with some car keys lying on the table and drove off with a teacher’s car at another kindy.

A few months ago, the household association in my area issued a warning to residents informing us that some elderly persons or young children would go around ringing the door bells of people’s home. If no one answered, the house would be a target for theft. If someone answered, they would pretend they were at the wrong house etc and leave. One would never suspect and elderly person or a young child but you should. You should always be aware of your surroundings and try not to give anyone the opportunity to commit any crime. A lot of crime happens because of opportunity and because of unawareness.

After reading and hearing of more and more cases like these, I am afraid that I have turned into a hard hearted person. If anyone approaches me, I would turn away. I have been approached before at bus stops by men requesting for money because they needed money for taxi fares, phone calls etc. My family has been approached while we were dining at a coffee shop by a man asking for money because he needed help etc. We just harden our hearts and turn away.

Now I will even have to turn away from elderly persons and young children because I no longer know who I can trust. I prefer to walk soaking wet in the rain rather than take a lift from good samaritans. It happened before. Once, I was soaking wet in the heavy rain and many cars honked to see if I needed a lift. I just shake my hand and walked on. I don’t know who is good and who is bad. They all look the same. The worse criminals may be the ones who look the most kind because they have set out to mislead us. I can no longer trust anyone, sad to say.

My girl had school on Valentine’s Day so we had to wake up at 6.30am to get her ready and send her to school.  When I was tying her hair, hubby came up behind me and gave me a hug and a kiss and said “Happy Valentine’s Day Hon.” I like that.

Hubby sent my girl to school. I tried to go back to bed but couldn’t so I just cuddled the little one and watched him sleep. I like that.

When hubby got back, he wanted to have his Maggie Mee staple so I prepared some for him. He likes that. I gave some to the boy too. Bad mommy. Of course, I had some too. After that I spent some time counting the kids angpow money so we could bank it in for them. Wow! The angpow packets were really varied and in very nice designs. I must take a pic and post it up if I am not too lazy. We will leave a little bit of the angpow money for them to buy something small of their choice. They will like that.

When that was done, we had to go and make some payments here and there, we had some errands to run, wrote some cheques, did some filing etc. Then it was time to fetch the girl back from school. Since it was a Saturday, we all went to fetch her together. She likes that. The school was more relaxed too since it was a Saturday. They allowed us into the grounds and into the canteen. Normally, they either refuse to let us in or let us huddle together in a corner like sheep in a pen. Hahaha.

The boy was able to run about freely. He likes that. Hubby swung him around and around and they both looked happy. When they are happy, I am happy. I like to watch them together like this.

Then we took the girl to the mall for lunch and to browse at the bookshop. The kids had fish and chips. They like that. Hubby and I had Thai Pineapple Fried Rice. We like that. The maid got to enjoy the Pineapple Fried Rice too. She likes that. Oh oh. The lunch must have been bad, I had to rush home to the comfort of my own toilet. Haha. After that, I bathed the kids and sent them to bed. I badly needed a bath and a hairwash too but I was too tired so I went to sleep without my bath. It was quiet in the afternoon as the whole family napped.

When we woke up, I cooked a very simple dinner that the maid had helped me prepare. Then I told hubby “Happy Valentine’s Day. Sorry, I don’t have the energy to prepare anything special. Just do whatever you can, thats what you always tell me. Hehehe.”

So we had our simple dinner and everyone ate in front of the tv. Everyone likes that. We had CNY leftover F&N Orange and Coke with ice “because it was Valentine’s Day.” Then it was time for my girl to practise Piano for her ABRSM Piano Trial Exam and do some homework. I sat with her to practise piano while hubby taught the boy some math. Hubby has decided to become the kids’ math tuition teacher so he spends some time whenever he can teaching them math.

When my girl was doing her homework, I escaped to have my shower and hair washed at last! Then I dried my hair while guiding her with her homework. After that the kids had milk and doughnuts for supper. They like that.

Then it was off to bed for them. They looked sleepy and didn’t protest or try to join in when I went to snuggle with hubby to watch his favourite martial art movie that I had bought for him for his birthday recently. He likes that and I like to cuddle up.

Now, depending on how you see it, that can be a boring, just another nothing special type of Valentine Day or it can be a blissful Valentine’s Day, a perfect day filled with love.

The maid has been with us for 6 months now so its time to start paying her directly. Those of you who have maids will know that we are required to pay a 6 months advance salary upfront but this 6 months advance salary does not go to the maid. It goes to the agency for the advanced loan that the maid takes from the agency to get them placed overseas. Imagine working for 6 months without pay. Hmmm….

I understand that different employers do this payment of salaries to the maid differently. Some show her a piece of paper as a record and records down each payment monthly. Some pay via a bank account. I even heard of some who pay into their own bank accounts because they think the maid should not be earning interests on their money! Gosh! I really don’t know what to say to that.

I asked my maid how her previous employer paid her. She said that the previous employer will pay her cash and put it into a petty cash box every month. My first thought was “What if there was a burglary and someone runs off with that petty cash box?” Hmmm….

I would like to open a bank account for the maid because I think that is the most normal mode of payment. I think thats fair too. However, I don’t know what kind of account I have to open since she is a foreigner here. Can anyone help me out? As a foreigner, can she have a normal savings account for locals or is it different? What about transmission of money back home and how does she transfer her money home at the end of her tenure?

She told me that she had a difficult time trying to retrieve her money from the bank in her hometown previously although her employer had told her  that she had sent it. My maid lives in a very rural place. She has to take a day by lorry to the nearest bank and each time she did that the bank would say it has not received the money yet. According to her she had to travel 2-3 times before she received her money.

Appreciate if somebody with experience comments. Thanks.

The other day my husband wanted to have an early dinner because he wanted to play badminton in the evening. I went downstairs to use the microwave oven (I am sorry but I cannot remember what I was using the microwave oven for now!). Anyway, I was using the microwave oven and the maid had put the rice into the rice cooker to cook. After I finished with the microwave, I stood there and unplugged the rice cooker instead of the microwave and then I went upstairs.

A moment later, I went downstairs to cook the dishes and the maid told me that she found the wires for the rice cooker unplugged so she had plug it back on but this delayed the cooking time for the rice and hubby was in a hurry. The maid was also not sure how the plug came to be unplugged. She thought that she had forgotten to plug it. lol.

Only after she mentioned it to me, then, only then, did I realise that I had stood there for a while unplugging the wrong plug! Haiyoh! Luckily she found it and plug it back on otherwise, no rice for hubby.

Quite often I would start to do something then forget what it is I want to do. More often, I would start to say something then forget what it was I wanted to say mid sentence. You say, terrible or not?

Managing the maid isn’t only about managing her work, it is also about managing relationships. Relationship with us and relationship with the kids. Managing the maid’s relationship with the kids is not an easy task. There is a fine line to draw in many areas. For example, we do not want the kids to start taking her for granted. We also do not want the kids to get too close to her and become manja with her etc. Like I said, its a fine line.

I have some house rules when it comes to managing the maid and the kids. I have told the maid…

• not to help them to wear their shoes unless we are in a hurry. She doesn’t help me to dress or feed them so the rest is not a problem. I want independant kids, not kids who rely on the maid to do everything for them.
• not to manja them. This is especially if I am scolding them and they she tries to comfort them. I will tell her to leave them alone. I explained to her that this is because I do not want to have kids that are “kurang ajar” (have no manners) in case she feels hurt or insulted when I tell her to “kakak, biar kan dia!” Kids will be kids and they will try to take comfort in anyone who is there for them. I certainly do not want a situation where the kids will run to the maid everytime I scold them. This is a no no for me. The maid also tends to like to carry the little one especially if he complains that he is tired. My little boy likes to make a big show that he is very very tired when he wants to be carried especially when he is bored from walking around the malls. I do not want a manja little kid who wants to be carried all the time so I always ask her to put him down when he behaves like that. My husband and I do not want to encourage his behaviour so we don’t always pick him up when he complains that he is tired so we do not want him to take advantage of the fact that the maid will pick him up. If we allow this, we will be telling him indirectly, that it is ok to go to kakak when we are stern with him. This creates un unhealthy situation where the kids will turn to the maid against the parents.
• not to take any instructions from the kids. I also told the kids not to give any instructions to the maid. Instructions must come from me only. If they want to request a ribena, for example, they must ask me first. I have told the maid to tell them ”tanya mummy dulu” or “mummy kata tak boleh” if they go to her. Even then, as she is pouring the drink, sometimes they will ask “kakak, saya mau lebih manis. Manis dan sejuk.” It is really a fine line.
• the kids must treat the maid with respect. Sometimes the small one, throws a black face at her if she is too busy to play with him. Or another example is, they may talk loudly to her or push her hand away if she tries to wear the seatbelt for them in the backseat and they refuse. My husband and I will not allow this. If any of the kids speak to the maid with disrespect, they will be reprimanded immediately.

However, I am guilty of a number of things. When we browsing at the bookshop or walking around the mall for example. me and hubby sometimes tend to leave the kids with the maid for short spurts of time so that we can look around. I really should be with the kids myself.

Another thing, sometimes when we are busy, we would allow the kids to play with the maid for a while. As a result the kids have become very close to the maid. We get a little uncomfortable if we see them too close. On the one hand, it is good that the maid likes the kids but on the other hand, well, who knows?  Its a fine line.

This maid really knows how to entertain kids as her main task with a previous employer was to look after the kids. She would teach them to sing, play hide and seek and other silly games with them. The kids like her a lot. I suppose this is a good thing but at the same time it worries me a bit too. Sometimes when I tell them “If kakak wants to take  you anywhere on your own WITHOUT mummy and daddy, you are NOT to go.” They don’t understand and they ask “Why?” How do you explain to a 5 and 7 year old that it is not a good idea to go anywhere with kakak on their own WITHOUT mummy and daddy’s permission when that kakak lives in your house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week throughout the year?

The maid does have the tendency to manja the kids a bit. So I have to always be on guard to see that she does not carry this out too far. She has also previously proudly proclaimed to me that her previous charges prefer her to their mother. According to her, she basically had to do everything for the kids previously. She bathed, dressed, fed them, walked them to school and back, made sure they do their homework and slept with them. I had to explain to her that perhaps she had to do things differently previously maybe because she has to listen to the kids a bit more since that makes them easier to control. But I want to have good mannered and well behaved kids so we will not manja them or they will turn out to be naughty and disrespectful.

So, hopefully, after giving her the reasons for my actions and explaining how I want my kids to be brought up, she will not take it personally when I say “Kakak, biarkan dia!” Because at the point when I say this, its usually in a loud voice because I am disciplining the kids at the time. I surely don’t want her to misunderstand and think that I am disciplining her! I must admit that I also feel a bit annoyed when I see her trying to go to the kid as I am disciplining them or trying to carry them or wear their shoes for them when they complain that they are tired.

I told her that kids will be kids and if you always rush to them to give in to their demands, soon they will learn that if they demand for something, even in an unreasonable manner, they will get what they want. Then the kids will end up being rude and demanding. I want to make it clear what I prefer and what I don’t but I have to explain the reasons why so she will understand. Phew! Managing relationships is almost as hard if not harder than managing housework.

Can you share with me how you manage your maid and the kids or if you don’t have a maid, how you think this should be managed? So that I can add to my list of rules in case I miss anything out.

On the 1st day of CNY we went to Thean Hou Temple to catch the lion dance but we were too late, then we went to a friend’s house to catch the lion dance but we were way too early so we had to leave before the dance. The kids were disappointed.

On the 2nd day of CNY, we travelled back to hometown. We could not miss the lion dance this time because uncle is part of the lion dance troupe and aunty cooks lunch for the lion dancers. With the exception of big sister, everyone else was there. Managed to catch up with some cousins too.

On the 3rd day of CNY, I caught up with 7 girlfriends, old schoolmates some of whom I have not seen in 20 years! We all agreed that we all looked better now than 20 years ago. Hahaha.

On the 4th day of CNY, we took the kids to meet up with my girl’s new classmate and her parents at the hotel where they were staying with. The kids swam at the pool and played on the beach and I saw Jimmy Choo! Wow! Later on we went for lunch together and separated afterwards. I then went to the temple to pay respects to my late mother. This year the caretaker helped me get beautiful flowers for mum. I couldn’t get the orchids that she wanted but the flowers were still beautiful nevertheless.

On the 5th day of CNY we travelled home and discovered that our neighbour had built his back wall into our premise! We dare not ask the workers to tear it down because we were afraid they would be mad (you don’t know what some of these foreign workers can be capable of) so we just spoke to the neighbours and requested that they please be careful not to encroach into our area for the rest of their reno work. Hmmm…

On the 6th day of CNY we slept in, so tired from the trip.

On the 7th day of CNY we wanted to organise a get together with some of my girl’s new classmates so that they could get to know each other better outside of the classroom but everyone was too busy.

On the 8th day of CNY, I cooked lunch for some of hubby’s colleagues and spouses. There were 12 adults and 7 kids altogether including us. I seldom cook for so many people. Fortunately it turned out ok. Hehe. Forgot to take pictures of the food to post. It was very noisy at night as firecrackers go off for the “pai theen gong.”

On the 9th day of CNY it was back to school for the kids as usual.

On the 10th day of CNY it was hubby’s birthday. We presented him with the kungfu dvds I had bought online and the kids and I gave him a massage for one whole hour while he watched it. Hahaha. of course, we also had the mandatory cake for the kids.

On the 11th day of CNY, it was back to work for hubby and me too I guess. Did one paid post. lol.

On the 12th day of CNY, that is today, it is business as usual.

On the 13th day of CNY, we have a family gathering, a housewarming cum early Chap Goh Meh occassion to attend.

On the 14th day of CNY, we have nothing planned.

On the 15th day of CNY, we may take the kids to see the lion dancers again for a Chap Goh Meh celebration and that completes our CNY this year.

I have consumed lots and lots of cookies but no yee sang yet.

On the first day of Chinese New Year we brought the kids to Thean Hou Temple to catch the lion dancers. We just missed it! Haha.

Anyway, we managed to look around the Thean Hou Temple Herb Garden and the Tortoise Pond which has a good population of tortoises. I didn’t notice this part of the temple grounds before last year. It is located at the back of the temple grounds. It is quite scenic and cool. Nice for taking pictures. We got married at the Thean Hou Temple previously because we thought it was nice for taking photos. Now, its even nicer. Well, it definitely is nicer for photos than the marriage registry department. Haha.

Here are some photos we took.

Thean Hou Temple

Tortoise Pond

 

Herb Garden