Archive for November, 2010

At the moment, I wish I had a lot of money… to afford the best healthcare there is for dad to make him as comfortable as possible, to give him the best quality of life and to make recovery for him as smooth and as fast as possible.

Dad was in ICU and in hospital for 3 weeks now. That equates to lots of $$$$$$$$! When he is discharged he will need to go back to the hospital frequently for physiotherapy. This is no easy task, not when you have to be transported from bed to wheelchair to car to wheelchair to gym then from gym to wheelchair to car to wheelchair to bed again.

If I could I would like to buy a good hospital bed with remote and the best wheelchair. I would like to have a special van for wheelchair users so dad can get out to the physio gym to do the necessary exercises to aid and speed recovery. I would like to afford mobile nurses to come to the house to make sure dad gets the best care, nourishment, hygiene.

I don’t know how much the hospital charges will eventually be. The deposit was RM10k. Dad’s new medication costs over RM1k a month. 24 hour mobile nursing would cost RM15k a month. There is a special sponsored transport service for wheelchair users which costs RM3 per person per trip. So lets say someone accompanies dad to the hospital for phsio. That would mean RM3 x 2 persons  = RM6 x 2 ways = RM12 for a to and fro visit to hospital using the special van. There are many more expenses. Thats only the transport charges mind you.

Yes, at this moment. I wish I had a lot a lot of money.

How wonderful it is to listen to beautiful music, to read, to dance, to enjoy looking at the scenic nature, and to taste food. The last one, which we all take so much for granted was taken away from dad when he had a second stroke recently.

Dad is still in hospital being fed milk every 3 hours through a tube that goes inside his nostrils right down into his stomach. He is unable to taste anything, not even a spoonful of water.

It is very sad to see his lips so dry and to hear him calling out “I am thirsty.” or mumbling “I can’t eat. I can’t eat. I am not scared. I can’t eat. You can’t eat.” He wants to eat mango or durians, his favourite or just have a taste of water, sweet thirst quenching water but even that is denied him because he has lost his ability to swallow. In medical terms this symptom of difficulty in swallowing is called dysphagia. Even a small spoonful of water would dribble out and it is dangerous to feed him orally because of the risk of aspiration. (when foods or liquids go the wrong way into the lungs).

However, yesterday, a miracle, dad was able to take in 10 spoonsful of porridge all of a sudden. Now the target is to be able to bring him home without the feeding tubes. The road to recovery is long but this surely a good forward step.

I was supposed to update this weekly but last Monday when I saw 128 pounds, I didn’t feel like it because it meant that my weight had increased not decreased. Worse still, on the Sunday night that just passed, I saw 130 plus pounds. Bleargh!

Last week I only exercised 3 times instead of 5 times a week. That is not so bad what. During the week I ate like a bird and during the weekends I ate normally. Eh? Like that also can increase ah? Dang! What more should I do. This is so hard. Eat like a bird 5 days a week, eat normally 2 days, exercise 3 times a week is not enough to even maintain my weight!

My metabolism rate must be so slow now. Aging man. Anyway, I forced myself to do my exercise again yesterday despite being so discouraged. What do you know. After the exercise and a visit to the toilet, the reading was 126 plus pounds. Gosh! The crap must have been 4 pounds heavy. Eeeww. This new age digital weighing scales are too darned sensitive.

So here I am after almost a month of trying to lose weight and so far nothing has happened. Will I keep it up? Yesiree I will. I can’t believe how easily the man lost his weight. He just disappeared into thin air and had to cut his belt 2-3 times a few inches each time and he had to have all his work trousers altered. I am so jealous. However, recently his trousers have been feeling tight again, a result of “Ok, so I lost a lot of weight. Now I can relax” and go back to all my old eating habits. Sorry. Not so easy. Losing weight and maintaining it is a long hard process and if anyone says otherwise, they’re either very young or have good genes which we’re not.

Today is dad’s birthday. He is still in hospital recovering from stroke. Poor dad.

I hadn’t realised that there are so many things involved when it comes to stroke rehabilitation. Dad is out of ICU now and has been in the normal ward for a week. He can’t move the left side of his body and he cannot swallow foods.

Not being able to swallow foods is the hard part, I think. Dad has to be fed through a tube that is inserted from his nostrils right to his stomach. Milk is poured into the tube using a syringe. This has to be done every 3 hours. Utmost care and skill is required so that the milk goes into the stomach and not the lungs.

Hopefully he will be able to go home soon. He will need a lot of care at home and require frequent visits to the hospital for physiotherapy. Once he is home, we will no longer be able to rely on the nurses to help us feed and move him about. It will be quite a challenge. Dad will be staying with big brother. Sister-in-law and dad’s maid will feel the full impact of this almost full time job of looking after dad. I know that both my sisters will drop by as often as they can to help out but it is not the same. It is not easy.

The nurses and doctors in the hospital are good. I am in awe of them. I think it takes a special kind of person to become a nurse or a doctor in a hospital. There are four doctors in attendance, speech, physio, cardio plus the neuro.

Dad was more alert mentally when he was in ICU. This few days, he is mostly having delusions and mumbling to himself. He thinks he is in a war. He keeps on saying “I must fight” and “I am not scared” over and over again to persons we cannot see. The night nurse said he gave her quite a scare when he spoke to someone behind her whom she cannot see during the night.

In a way, he is right. He must fight and he must not be scared. It is the same with us. We must fight and we must not be scared.

Happy Birthday daddy. This birthday I am not buying you anything but I have a prayer for you. I pray that you will be able to swallow foods soon and regain movement on the left side of your body quickly. I wish I could do more for you.