Archive for May, 2011

This post was meant for my Mothering Times blog but blogger is in read only mode. It is down for maintenance. The good thing about having several blogs is when one is down the other is up. Anyway, back to the post.

Girl: “Mummy, what is that thing you told me about, you know the blood on the backside?”

Mum: “Period”.

Girl: “Yah. yah. In this book I read, the girl has her period and then she asked her cousin brother to buy the thing for her to  use.”

Oh. What storybook is she reading? It looks innocent enough on the cover illustrating a little girl with a bowl of two goldfish. I had no idea what the contents are because it is in Mandarin which I can’t read well with no pictures of illustration inside. Is the subject matter of the story appropriate for my 9 year old?

Well, it doesn’t really matter because I have already spoken to her about menstruation and pregnancy and sex before. I find it easier to talk about these things to children when they are very young. Keeping things very simple but to the point using actual words instead of a nicknames to describe is easy and not embarrassing at all. It also opens up the doors of communication for later on.

I remember reading about menstruation and how to talk about it to your daughter one day in the papers. I read the entire article to her, explained and asked her if she had any questions. Done.

When the kids were younger and they asked me how babies were made, I took out my Dr.Miriam Stoppard’s Conception, Pregnancy and Birth book and showed them pictures and explained to them about how Mr Sperm meets Ms Egg. Done.

They didn’t giggle or turned red-faced. They just accepted the explanation matter of factly (though naturally they had 1001 questions which I tried my best to answer) but the important thing is the doors of communication has been open for the teen years when they should know about such things. I think talking about sex should not be taboo at home. On the contrary, I think parents should teach their children to be responsible and to respect their own bodies and others. Sex Education should not be left to the school, to be whispered in corridors among teenagers and learned from reading novels and worse still porn sites and magazines.

Hopefully, now that the seed of communication has been sown, both kids will not be shy to come to talk to me when they have questions later on.

When I was young, and we had to fill out the “ambition card” or the “what do you want to be when you are an adult” card in school, I never ever wanted to become a teacher. I thought that it was the most boring job on this earth. So naturally, I never became a teacher. However, I am a teacher to my kids, well, sort of a tuition teacher to teach them. And the funny thing is I find it so interesting to teach.

I love looking for teaching resources online. I love to go to the bookshop to find that perfect book to aid in my teaching. When I find a good but cheap book that is just perfect to complement my teaching, I would feel really happy. There are many workbooks available these days. It is so competitive. Everyone wants to buy workbooks for their children. It is a crazy thing really, me inclusive.

Popular bookstore has a whole range of workbooks but I usually just stick to the tried and tested publishers. There will be very many others, some of which are too difficult or too easy. I find that if a book is too difficult then it kills the interest of the child because it makes them disheartened while if it is too easy, there is no point in doing them. It merely takes up more time in their already tight schedules.

So, I was searching for that perfect book this weekend as I usually like to do but this weekend was different. It is exam week. I was also not in Popular but at MPH where the variety of workbooks are much less. Std 1-6 for SJKC kids all on the same shelf. So there I was squeezed in between all these gungho parents, both mums and dads in equal numbers. Then there was this mum who picked out books for her child who was standing nearby. She showed him the books and asked them whether those were the ones he needed and he nodded absentmindedly…. all the while….. playing his handheld playstation.

Two things strike my mind. 1. I think handheld gadgets ought to be banned! 2.I think parents these days are doing too much for their kids.

This morning, when I checked my feed reader, it was full of Mother’s Day posts! There was Mother’s Day 2011, Mother’s Day wishes, 2011 Mother’s Day, Happy Mother’s Day 2011, Mother’s Day celebration. So I guess I shall join the masses and write a post about Mother’s Day. 

In the morning, both the kids woke up and promptly forgot about me as they rushed out to the study room to play computer games. During the rest of the day, I helped them get some revision done for their coming exams. Mother’s Day always falls in May just before the first semester school tests so I guess that this year and every other coming year will probably be spent like this.

However, husband was kind enough to take us out to lunch even though this Mother here claimed that she was on a weekend diet. Well, the dieter ended up eating succulent pork burgers that melt in the mouth with cheese followed by butter cake with ice-cream. Yum. Yum.

As my husband was rushing us out of the house for lunch, the little one said “Why is daddy rushing even on Mother’s Day?” Lol. I had to inform him that if daddy hadn’t rushed we would have to eat in or eat takeout instead. I don’t think he would have minded. He and his sister both are currently so mad about Plants vs Zombies that the would gladly stay home and play all day instead of go out with boring old mummy and daddy. Guarding their house from invading zombies is certainly more interesting to them, for now.

Lunch was a very rushed affair, we rushed out of the house, then did some errands before rushing back as there were some workers on our roof. No they weren’t installing the Infinity Dish, though I wish they were. They were merely fixing the leaks on the roof. I certainly hope they get it fixed, this time! I can’t count how many times workers have been up on my roof.

That reminds me, we had been promising the kids that we will be getting them more TV channels soon. HDTV channels, something like those being offered by Infinity Dish would be excellent. We had better wait till after their exams. Then they can watch and play all day. My daughter quipped “Whatever that we don’t have the time to do now, mummy and daddy will say, let’s do it during the school holidays.” Then school holidays would have come and gone and we would only have done half or less of all the things that we had planned to do. Oops!

So that was how we spent Mother’s Day this year, with workers up on the roof, a quick lunch, revising school work with the kids and no HDTV.

This Sunday is Mother’s Day but I am not having Mother’s Day fever. What I have is Exam Fever. I think that other Mother’s with school going kids are having this fever too as the kids start to prepare for their first semester school exams.

I won’t be going out for a slow many course lunch or dinner. Instead I will be helping the kids prepare for their school course work. When you have kids, meals are often rushed and harried anyway. I would certainly like to sit down and eat a course by course meal, just for the sake of eating slowly and enjoying a meal in its entirety but………

Oh, that reminds me. The other day, I was at Ikea. As usual, I was the last to eat. After queueing up for the food, setting the table and making sure we had the cutlery and organising who ate what etc. By the time everyone had finished their meal, I was just halfway into mine. I had just torn off my chicken wings into two when suddenly I was surrounded by “vultures”. There were about 4 or 5 of them. All ready to pounce on my table. I had to quickly devour my chicken wings to make way for the “vultures” who were waiting for my table. I don’t blame them. I have been such a “vulture” myself at times. Still, the chicken wings didn’t taste as good when devoured instead of savoured.

Now, you know why I wish to enjoy a course by course meal….. I am so deprived of enjoying a meal I like as opposed to what the family likes, in slow time as opposed to in fast motion that this morning, I dreamed of savouring a nice hot bowl of pigs trotters with black vinegar and ginger. Yes, I dreamed of food in my sleep!

Back to exam fever. My fever is very high this weekend.  For the first time, I will be coaching two kids on their revision instead of one kid. Oh oh oh. what a fever that gives me. That is Chinese, Malay, English, Science and Maths plus Moral, Computer etc x 2! *faints* In Chinese! *faints again* So much to go through, so little time!

Some facts from MG:

Did you know that the seasonal test virus called the “exam fever” is caused by approaching school exams. The incubation period  is usually one or two weeks from the time the test syllabus and timetable is given out. Its symptoms include headache, your voice will also become coarser as you will feel like shouting when you have this virus. You will feel irritable and experience fatique. You may also lose hair if you succumb to the inclination towards hair pulling during this time. It is quite contagious. It usually spreads from teacher to student to parent. You will not have immunity against this virus. You can have it again and again during each new exam season. There is no treatment. You will just have to let the exam fever run its course. It will usually go away quite abruptly with all symptoms gone upon completion of the school tests. Though there is no medical treatment, you can try some alternative treatment like taking a warm bath, having cool teas, deep breathing or walking away when you feel like shouting or tearing  your hair out. Exercise, good nutrition and proper sleep is good too during this period.

Well then, good luck to all those who are having the exam fever this weekend and Happy Mother’s Day to the others.

When I was young, we lived in the police barracks for a time. I don’t remember much of it because I was only about 4-5. I have some black and white pictures to aid the memory but I also bits and pieces here and there. I remember that the houses were in a circle with a field in the middle. I remember my sister slept on a box because we didn’t have enough beds. I remember being teased with the boy from the opposite house across the field. The boy who was called “ayam”. Oh how I hated that. I remember mum used to play her record and I would dance and dance around the house, once for some visitors, much to my delight.

One other thing I remember was my neighbour. Each evening, when he gets home, his kids would chant happily “Abah balik! Abah balik!” (Daddy’s home). They were obviously happy to see him and how happy he must have been to be greeted in this manner. As a parent now, I realise that it would be the highlight of my day to come back from a tiring day at work and be greeted by happy kids like that. It would surely make some if not all the stresses go away.

For a long time, hubby did not get this treatment from us. When the kids were at kindy, he would leave the house while we were all sleeping. No one got up to say goodbye to him. When he got home, most days we would all still be napping (yes, the kids napped till very late evening previously), so he would let himself in. Now that the kids are in primary school, he takes them to school in the morning so he wakes us all up (since he is the morning person) and we turn our backs on him sleepily, cover our faces with a pillow and try to go back to sleep but at least the house is noisy and alive after that.

If he is home late, we would sometimes be eating without him and he would ask “never wait for me ah”. Everyone would be busy eating and talking at the table, no one takes any notice of him when he comes in the door and he would say “how come no one comes to say hello to me?” Haha. Now that I bother to write this down, I realise that his coming home from work isn’t anything at all like that of my neighbour from years ago.

So I decided that in the evenings, we would all go to the door to smile, say hello and greet him when he gets home. So thats what we did for the past two days. The first day he said “why is everyone smiling?”. The second day he said “I saw the light on upstairs. How come you’re here?”

“We came to greet you.” I said. The little one held out a drawing he had just finished and showed it to him. The elder one had left a note for him on  his table, something about “daddy, can you give me money to buy flowers for mummy for Mother’s Day.” so she was eager to see him too. He isn’t used to it yet but I hope to keep it up, teach the kids to stop what they are doing and go to open the door for daddy and welcome him home. It would certainly be nice for daddy and the kids. It doesn’t take very much effort for me to do at all since I have a helper who helps me with the cooking. After my helper leaves next year, I could still do it if I time my work properly or perhaps the kids would have gotten into a  habit by then. I hope to keep it up and that is what this post is for. To remind me to make that commitment to do so. It is such a small thing that I can do for my spouse and my kids but it will be good for them and I  hope it makes them happy. Being able to do this makes me happy.