Archive for the 'About the kids' Category
Yawwwwn! Aaaachooo! Yaawwwwnn……..
Getting up at 6am and getting the girl ready for school is hard work. Making sure I get some exercise after she goes off to sleep instead of going back to sleep is hard work. Then getting the boy up and ready for school is another round of hard work.
Yup! My holiday is definitely over. Its back to school and back to work for all the mummies and daddies out there. Back to waking up early and worrying about how our little ones are coping in school especially if they claim they don’t like school or they start wetting their trousers in school when they have never had this problem at home before. Something is not quite right so mummy has to do some investigative work.
On the last two days of school before the school holidays the little one told me that he wanted to bring extra trousers to school because he was afraid that he would wet his trousers. I was surprised because he never had this problem at home before. On the last day of school, he came home without his socks, underwear and in someone else’s trousers because he had wet his. Definitely something is amiss. I couldn’t get it out of him exactly. He said he’s not afraid to ask teacher. He said the toilet is dirty, far away, teacher didn’t hear him, teacher asked him to ask someone else and then it was too late etc. So, which is it? So today, I’ve got to go and see the teacher to investigate. As for the girl, last night she said “Mummy, I really don’t like to go to this school.” and then she started worrying about school. Yup! The holiday is definitely over for me.
I wish for another week of holiday.
I had some leftover bananas…. and so I baked the only cake I knew how to bake….. Steamed Banana Cake. We doubled the recipe since the original recipe turns out a cake too small for us.
My boy helped me. He was delighted to squash the bananas and mix in the egg and flour…. but we ran out of sugar…. and so we improvised. We put in a packet of 3-in-1 milo powder in place of sugar for one half of the cake. Fortunately the cake turned out. Phew!
However, the banana side tasted better of course since it was meant to be a banana cake after all. The Milo side looked good but did not meet up to its looks. Haha. Next time better check to make sure we have ALL the ingredients before we say GO! Still, it was nice experimenting.
One more day and then schools out for the kids for the first term holidays. I will be extra busy then spending time with them. Perhaps I won’t be able to blog till AFTER the school holidays. In any case, Happy Weekend everyone.
On the 1st day of CNY we went to Thean Hou Temple to catch the lion dance but we were too late, then we went to a friend’s house to catch the lion dance but we were way too early so we had to leave before the dance. The kids were disappointed.
On the 2nd day of CNY, we travelled back to hometown. We could not miss the lion dance this time because uncle is part of the lion dance troupe and aunty cooks lunch for the lion dancers. With the exception of big sister, everyone else was there. Managed to catch up with some cousins too.
On the 3rd day of CNY, I caught up with 7 girlfriends, old schoolmates some of whom I have not seen in 20 years! We all agreed that we all looked better now than 20 years ago. Hahaha.
On the 4th day of CNY, we took the kids to meet up with my girl’s new classmate and her parents at the hotel where they were staying with. The kids swam at the pool and played on the beach and I saw Jimmy Choo! Wow! Later on we went for lunch together and separated afterwards. I then went to the temple to pay respects to my late mother. This year the caretaker helped me get beautiful flowers for mum. I couldn’t get the orchids that she wanted but the flowers were still beautiful nevertheless.
On the 5th day of CNY we travelled home and discovered that our neighbour had built his back wall into our premise! We dare not ask the workers to tear it down because we were afraid they would be mad (you don’t know what some of these foreign workers can be capable of) so we just spoke to the neighbours and requested that they please be careful not to encroach into our area for the rest of their reno work. Hmmm…
On the 6th day of CNY we slept in, so tired from the trip.
On the 7th day of CNY we wanted to organise a get together with some of my girl’s new classmates so that they could get to know each other better outside of the classroom but everyone was too busy.
On the 8th day of CNY, I cooked lunch for some of hubby’s colleagues and spouses. There were 12 adults and 7 kids altogether including us. I seldom cook for so many people. Fortunately it turned out ok. Hehe. Forgot to take pictures of the food to post. It was very noisy at night as firecrackers go off for the “pai theen gong.”
On the 9th day of CNY it was back to school for the kids as usual.
On the 10th day of CNY it was hubby’s birthday. We presented him with the kungfu dvds I had bought online and the kids and I gave him a massage for one whole hour while he watched it. Hahaha. of course, we also had the mandatory cake for the kids.
On the 11th day of CNY, it was back to work for hubby and me too I guess. Did one paid post. lol.
On the 12th day of CNY, that is today, it is business as usual.
On the 13th day of CNY, we have a family gathering, a housewarming cum early Chap Goh Meh occassion to attend.
On the 14th day of CNY, we have nothing planned.
On the 15th day of CNY, we may take the kids to see the lion dancers again for a Chap Goh Meh celebration and that completes our CNY this year.
I have consumed lots and lots of cookies but no yee sang yet.
Have you started on the balik kampung exodus yet? My dad and brother are going back to hometown today. I will join them on the second day of Chinese New Year and coming back on the fourth day of Chinese New Year. Really much too short, I wish we could stay longer but hotel is expensive.
We will be travelling one day, then we only have one full day and the next day we have to check out and travel again. 
Usually we will travel very early in the morning, scooping the kids out from their beds, still in their pyjamas and straight into the car. They often wake up later, when its time for breakfast and a stop, surprised to find that they are in the car travelling. Hahaha. Its better this way because its not so hot and they get less fretty because they have slept through part of the journey so it doesn’t seem that long.
I wonder how mum and dad did it in our time. Travelling in the car with 5 noisy kids fighting with each other must really be terrific. lol. We used to travel for 10 to 12 hours straight on the trunk roads (back then before the highway was available). Second sister often got car sick.
Today, when the kids get back home from school, I will get them to pack their own drawers as part of the spring cleaning process. On Sunday, we will wash the porch and cars together. The kids love that. They also love to pack their own “luggage” for the trip stuffing in books and toys.
I have clipped together some angpows for hanging on our plants outside the house and made some fish made from angpow paper for decorations. I wanted to make angpow lanterns too but I have forgotten how. Haha. Each year I forget how. I had to jolt my memory by visiting this site. It has a good step by step pictorial guide on how to make the angpow fish. Its very nice and cheap decoration. We usually get one or two from the store to paste or hang as well but those are a bit more expensive and wasteful. They look colorful and nice but some of them depict a certain animal zodiac year and can’t be reused the next year.
Why bother to clean and decorate? Some people ask me. You are going away after all. Why not just pack up and go? Why all the trouble? Its for the kids. Its for the kids. Chinese New Year is not Chinese New Year without spring cleaning, decorations, mandarin oranges, f&n orange, peanuts, kuaci, cookies, open houses, new clothes, fireworks, etc etc. That is what Chinese New Year is all about.
My Girl just got her school timetable. It is something like this. They have 5 hours of lessons per day making it a total of 25 hours of lessons per week. During one week of school, she has…..
- 5 hours for Chinese language
- 4 1/2 hours of Malay Language
- 1 hour of English Language
- 2 hours of Maths in English
- 3 hours of Maths in Chinese
- I 1/2 hours of Science in English
- 1 1/2 hours of Science in Chinese
- 2 hours of moral
- 1 hour of computer
- 1 hour of gym
- 1 hour of Music
- 1 hour of Art
- 1/2 hour of revision/overview
My thoughts when I saw the time table.
- Wuah. Only 1 hour for English? No wonder they say the kids English will deteriorate when enter Chinese School.
- Hmmm…. 4 1/2 hours for Malay. Perhaps that is a government requirement but not bad also lah so that they won’t have difficulty catching up in Bahasa Malaysia in secondary school if you intend to send them to Kebangsaan school then
- Aisay…. what for want to teach Maths and Science in two languages. Thats just overloading the kids. Just teach it in one language lah, whatever language, I don’t really mind.
- Got Art, Gym, Computer, Music. My girl will enjoy those but I heard that those classes have to make way for more academic ones later on from Std 3 onwards. During orientation, one of the parents complained that she never got to wash her kid’s gym clothes because the kid never got to run around and be kids, there was just work, work and more work and lessons…. of the academic kind.
- Wuah! Sure got a lot of homework like that.
Can you share with me your kid’s timetable and what you think when you see this timetable?
Here’s another timetable from a blogger who sends her child to a private church based school. You might want to check it out to see the difference.
I guess you can’t really compare the two as it is like comparing apples with oranges. One is a government school while the other is government aided and private sector funded. As a result, the Chinese school facilities is much better than the Kebangsaan school one.
When shopping for schools, I visited a few, both Chinese as well as Kebangsaan school because I couldn’t make up my mind on which school to send my kid to. We had to list down 3 choices when registering our children for schools and most people would either have all 3 as Chinese Schools or all 3 as Kebangsaan School. I had a mix. Hahaha. That was how undecided I was. However the school my girl was eventually sent to was not in my 3 choices. lol.
Anyway, I visited many schools but some of them were more “memorable” than the others. For example, the Kebangsaan school nearest to my house (which I considered simply because of its proximity and convenience) was very small. It’s canteen doubled up as a hall if I am not mistaken. The canteen was very small and I didn’t see a field. When the bell rang and recess time (its good to visit during school hours to observe the actual situation), the kids ran out and some sat on the floor to have their meal.
I spoke to a Chinese teacher there and she looked at me and said “Why aren’t you sending your child to a Chinese school?” Imagine that, even the teacher there did not believe in the school she taught. So sad. I asked her about the school facilities and she simply said “Just look around you. We are very small.”
Another Kebangsaan school a little further from my home was better. They had a dedicated headmaster (Its important to speak to the heads of school when you visit). The school was clean and had reasonable facilities, a music room, a computer room a nice canteen with colorful chairs and benches almost like in a fast food restaurant, open air badminton courts, a big school field, an open air school hall. There were murals everwhere done by the school children, the garden was nice, the toilets were clean and new. I almost sent my kid there and in case Chinese school don’t turn out, I guess we will try this school out.
However, the Chinese School Facilities wins hands down, especially the newer ones (or rather the ones that I visited. It may perhaps be unfair to make this an overall and simplistic comparison because I do not have statistics nor did I visit that many schools? I probably visited 2 Kebangsaan schools and 5 Chinese Schools while school hunting) But of course you have to be prepared to pay in the form of donation (afterall you want your kid to use these facilities don’t you) and you have to pay higher school fees to maintain these facilities.
Classrooms are airconditioned. Every classroom has a projector. There is a big school hall with indoor badminton courts, an auditorium like the size of a cinema, a small music room, a small dance room, a computer room ( my girl’s class has 42 students and she says each kid has access to one computer and there were balance after that), a library, a big field, a basketball court, a medium sized canteen. Why, its almost like a private school accept you don’t pay so much. But the culture and medium of instruction is different of course. Facilities not so different from a private school (accept for the absence of a pool in the better ones) but if you can’t accept the culture and the way things are done in a Chinese school then its not for you. Besides, all the best facilities are useless if you are not going to use them.
How are the facilities in your child’s school? Care to share? Not comparing notes here but just for information’s sake, it’ll be good for everyone to know whats available.
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We are ill prepared for Chinese School. With our indecisiveness, we had not prepared our girl to feel at ease in a Chinese School.
In her school, I would say around 70% of the children are from English speaking homes. However, most of the children can speak Mandarin. This is because the parents have prepared the kids well by sending the kids to at least 2-3 years of Chinese preschool. Meaning the kids attended a Chinese kindergarden where the main medium of instruction is Chinese. Even the little Indian boy in my girl’s class speaks Mandarin fluently by now at Standard One.
There are 2 special Std One classes in her school. In each of these classes, the number of students is lesser ie around 35 and 10% of them are muslims and non-chinese. This is to make sure that these students have a better chance of catching up, plus it makes it easier for them to attend Agama classes etc. I would have preferred my girl to be in one of these classes but…
Altogether there are 7 Std One Classes with about 40 students to a class with the exception of the 2 special classes I mentioned. I guess this is not too crowded a figure. Some Chinese schools have bigger numbers than these, more classes and with about 50 to a class I heard.
The environment in a Chinese school is really competitive. During orientation, we are handed a list of curriculum activities which the kids can attend after school (for a fee of course). After school activities (1.30-3.10/3.40pm) which start next week, are compulsory for kids from Standard 3 onwards. The younger ones have a choice. They can join Arts & Crafts, Badminton, Taekwando, Drama, Hanyu Pinyin classes, etc etc. Its a long list. It makes it easier for the parents, I guess. Kids can stay back, have lunch, then join in a class, and you pick them up later. So you don’t have to ferry your kids from one place to another for activities.
It seems almost tempting to join some activities for various reasons….eg: for extra Chinese classes because I am afraid she is so lost, so that she can make more friends from school from doing shared activities because she says she has no friends, or simply because she likes some of those activities.
I have to remind myself to allow her to slowly settle in first and those other extras can wait although I am not sure whether they are allowed to join midterm. So I did not fill up any of those forms for extra activities. Parents have started to arrange tuition because, some of them, like me, found that they are ill prepared and the child is very lost. Some of them have even approached the class teacher to form a group for extra tuition for their kids. Its that competitive! Scary.
No matter how unkiausu you are, you’re going to be caught up and get lost in the whirlpool of competitiveness. First, you might have to send your kid for extra Mandarin tuition to make sure she can follow the classes, then you may send him or her for some Arts and Drama classes etc to foster creativity to counter the rote learning methods so that they learn to think out of the box, then you may send them for English classes to make sure their standard of English do not drop etc. This is what I’ve heard. I haven’t experienced all this yet but I think I have one foot in now by trying to find ways to make sure my girl can follow whats going on in class because I cannot help her. And thats another sad thing because I so want to be able to help and guide her personally.
I realise that my mistake is not preparing my girl enough in conversational chinese. She may be able to read and write but she cannot speak or understand spoken Mandarin. She cannot make friends and she cannot understand what the teachers are saying and that makes her miserable. Even the Malay and English teachers give instructions in Mandarin so she is totally lost. We have asked her kindy teacher to come 2-3 times a week to help her out, sort of like giving her an intensive or crash course in spoken Mandarin for one or two months.
I have always maintained that I hate giving my kid extra tuition but only after the first week of school, I have resorted to this! Its madness. I am still full of reservations about sending my kid to Chinese school but lets wait and see. I will keep on updating our progress.
Although I have said that we did not prepare my girl enough by not sending her to a Chinese environment preschool, this is still something I do not want to do. I have sent my boy to a normal English speaking preschool. This is because I want them to be good in English first before Chinese. I want them to learn to think in English and want them to learn Chinese as a second language. I prefer it if they learn Chinese as a language rather than as the main medium of instruction but it would seem I have no choice. I feel that my girl’s English is quite ok for her age and so now she can start learning her Mandarin. If it were the other way, had I sent her to a Chinese medium preschool, then she would probably be poorer in English. You can’t have everything. The kids have to learn English, Chinese AND Malay. I feel that you have to choose which language you want your child to excel in or you’d be in a situation where they are the jack of trades and the master of none. They’d know every language but they would not be very good in any of them.
Shoppingmum, is this post cheong hei enough for you? I have more. Hahaha.
“You should have your own life, your own pursuits, your own friends, your own career. You shouldn’t stay cooped up in the house. Your life should not just revolve around your partner and your kids. You will make your kids guilty in adulthood about having to payback for all the sacrifices you have made for them.”
Some of these statements are all too common and often heard but you know what? They don’t bother me nor do they strike a chord within me.
I am a SAHM. I do spend a lot of my time at home with my kids. My life pretty much revolves around them. Its November now, and I am planning what food to make for the girl’s year end class party, I am planning when I should take my boy to register for kindy class for next year, I am planning when I should go shopping for their back to school gear, I am planning to reserve kid friendly accomodation for Chinese New Year next year, I am planning to take them for a movie during the school holidays, I am planning what sort of activities and crafts I can do with them during the school holidays, etc etc. The list is endless. Its been that way since the time they were babies when I planned what menu to feed them with daily when they first started solids, when to take them to the paeditrician, what brand of diapers to buy etc.
During a typical day at home with them, I would bathe them, feed them, sit down with and help them with their homework, get them to nap, read to them, chat with them, play with them and teach them. I feel happy to be around for them as soon as they get home. I want my kids to come home as soon as classes are over, to hot nutritious food, to a listening ear to listen to what they have been up to all day in school, to get them changed, bathed and refreshed, to sit and do work with them, then to make sure they get some rest and a short nap, then wake up for dinner, to more hot food and some playtime, reading time etc. Thats what I want my kids to have.
I do not want my kids to be rushed from school to a tuition place still in their school uniform (I see this happening more and more now. I see kids in the evening, still in their daytime school uniform lugging their heavy schoolbags out from a tuition centre, waiting for their parents to pick them). I do not want my kids to eat food outside provided by some establishment or school, only to have me collect them after work. When school is over for my girl, I still see some of her friends who stay behind for lunch, a bath, a nap and some playtime at the kindy which she attends which also doubles up as a daycare centre. They only get to go home in the evening. Thats not what I want for my girl and I am fortunate that I have a choice to make the kind of growing up environment that I want for them happen.
Yes, my life does revolve around the kids, around their activities, their school life, their holidays etc. And yes, I talk about my kids all the time. Why I even have 2-3 blogs that I maintain fairly frequently to talk about them. I may be considered rather boring to some. Oh, I can have “inteligent conversations” if I want to but I like to talk about my kids especially to another fellow mother and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Yes, I am not working now but I did not make any big sacrifices with that (So kids you don’t have to feel guilty, you hear that?) Its not a sacrifice at all when you do something out of love. Its not a sacrifice when you do something because you want to. Its only a sacrifice if you do something because you are forced to or because you have no choice but its certainly not that way for me.
I see some SAHMs who feel “one kind” (I don’t know what word to use) when they meet up with their high flyer friends when their friends pass around their latest name card with high credentials, talk about their latest promotions or latest overseas trips. There is no need to feel low esteem nor is there a need to feel overly proud of your achievement of having “sacrificed” your work for your kids.
Pssst. A little gossip. I think my neighbour is one of those high flyers. She drives an expensive car which she always toots loudly for the maid to open the gate when she gets home, she wears heavy makeup and often looks at me disdainly. I have never seen her smile. Perhaps she looks down on a mere housewife but I couldn’t care two hoots. Ok. Ok. I’m just making presumptions here but really, I’ve never seen a more unfriendly person. Sorry, I digressed. I do not feel ashamed about being just a housewife. Thats all I was trying to say. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that high flyers are bad moms. Its just not me that is all. I don’t have the energy to be both and I salute those who can do it all but for me, I can’t give my kids the attention I want if I am distracted by other things.
I do not feel “cooped up” in my house all day. I am not “rotting” in my own house devoid of any adult company and conversation. Goodness gracious. Certainly not at all! Â I find it a joy to be able to watch the kids play, to watch their silly antics and listen to the funny things they say not to mention to be able to witness their every first. First roll over, first crawl, first walk, first tooth, first word. Its the most amazing and the most wonderful thing. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.
If someone were to tell me “You should have your own life”, I’d tell them but this IS life. This is what life is all about. I am happy with my life. I am happy with my life that revolves around my kids. Is anything wrong with that?
I am a happy mom and I am not going to turn around one day when I am old and say “I regret giving up my job. I regret giving up some social engagements. I regret living in a world that revolved around the kids.” Nope. I hope to look back one day to having lived a full life that revolved around my kids that leaves me with a close bond with them for life.
The above animation was done for me by Maria or Twinsmom as she is more popularly known around the blog some time ago when I first started blogging. Its a reflection of my day that revolves around my kids.
I came across this advice from this dad when I was surfing the net recently. It says “Spend time with your kids before its too late.”  This is exactly my spouse and my sentiments exactly.
I agree totally with this part of the article which reads….
The best time to spend with your children is in the first 10-12 years of their lives. As teenagers, they begin to distance themselves from you, so make the most of it when they are young, when they want to hug, sit on your knee and love every minute of your company. (Teenagers, I believe, are less inclined to participate in these fantastic things!).
The author goes on to say that careers can wait. Of course not everyone can afford to take time off work like what he has done because we still need to provide for our families and plan our finances for their education and future.
However, I do think that while the kids are young, parents (not just dads) should try not to work so long hours, travel less, not go for that company trip etc. Of course there is a price to pay for this but its worth it to get to know the kids and bond with them when they are young. They grow up really fast and before you know it, you will have missed out on these wonderful early years.
I have written down all the ways that my kids dad spend time with the kids so that they can remember it in the future. The post: “When daddy is left alone with the kids” is on my Parenting Times blog. Perhaps, all you other mommy bloggers out there would like to do so too?
Once upon a time there was a little girl. The little girl has a younger brother. Before her brother was born, she was mostly alone with her mommy when her daddy went to work.
Whenever there was a family gathering, she cried when she saw her uncles and aunties. She would hide her face and looked a bit stressed. “She is so shy because she didn’t have much of a chance to socialise being at home with just her mommy”, everyone said.
Even when she became a toddler, she was still shy. Whenever her aunts came to visit, she would run under the table and hide and refuse to come out.
Once she was at a gathering where her whole family was being photographed by lots of people. She hid her face in her father’s shoulder throughout the whole session. She refused to look up even with much coaxing.
Soon the little girl became a preschooler but she still stayed at home with just her mommy and now with her little brother too. Her parents had intended to send her to preschool at age 5 1/2. They had registered her but then her mommy was sick so they decided to postpone it till age 6.
Now, entering kindergarten at age 6 for the first time is almost unheard of these days. “She will become a social pariah.” some people warned. Up till then she had not attended any nursery school, playgroup, Sunday school or whatever group. Her mommy was a little bit worried. Perhaps her little girl was not being given a chance to blossom by not giving her opportunities to mix around and learn things outside of the home. Afterall these are the important growing years where they soak up information like a sponge. Oh dear. Oh dear.
Finally the little girl entered preschool. She enjoyed it very much. There was no tears to deal with. It was an easy transition.
The little shy girl whom some thought would remain shy because of the lack of opportunity to socialise was selected for a main speaking part in her year end school performance.
“Mommy, I’m afraid everyone will laugh at me.” she said. This worried her parents. They did all that they could to help her overcome her fear. The night before the performance, her parents did not sleep well from nervousness. 
When the moment came, the little girl walked up tall to the stage, stood in front of an audience of 300 plus adults and spoke with confidence. Her parents were very proud of her.
Later she told her mommy, “I was scared mommy, but I tried.” The little girl had bloomed into a beautiful flower.
And this story is told for all the other mommies who face pressure and worry about having their little ones at home with just them instead of sending them to school at age 4 and below. No worries, your little ones will blossom too when the time comes. You can tell anyone who pressures you to send your child to school early to MYOB! Hahaha. Or you can tell them this story of A little Blooming Flower.
