Archive for the 'Health' Category

Despite wanting to remain positive and the numerous articles about growing old gracefully, I do not think that growing old is a graceful process, not when you have dementia and a bit of alzheimer’s.

Not when you begin to lose your dignity and confidence because you cannot handle simple daily tasks any longer. Not when bathing becomes scary to you and you no longer know how to button up your shirts and unzip your trousers. Not when you start having urinary and fecal incontinence and you have to start wearing diapers like a baby. Not when you have to allow your daughters to help you wear your diapers because you are embarrased you keep on wetting the bed.

Dad’s condition has deteriorated to this now. Sister will be away on holiday again for two weeks so dad will be coming to stay with us for a week till Christmas before going to stay with brother for another week till the New Year.

We’ve got ourselves some Christmas presents, books and toys and CDs and a wallet to replace my broken one. We wrapped them all up even though we already know what they are. Silly, but fun anyway for the kids. Even the maid has got two story books all wrapped up but what shall we get dad?

Hubby said that a digital photo frame would be a good idea. We could store pictures of the kids in there for him. I wonder if those digital photo frames comes with batteries. Will have to check it out. Its very sweet of dear hubby to have thought of this. I am touched. He is the caring “sai sum” (thoughtful) one between us two. I am the airy head one who doesn’t give much thought about things, well, not as much as him anyway.

I have discussed with big sis and I think I will get my maid to sew velcro straps onto his trousers to help make things easier for him. I feel sad because we can’t take him out to jalan-jalan and makan-makan as much as we would like to now because of the fecal incontinence.

I hope that when he is with us, he will have at least one good day when he reverts back to his old self and we have old dad back for a few hours instead of the quiet dad we now have. Dad used to be so chatty and clean but now he is quiet and he won’t bathe and change anymore and now he has incontinence. Poor poor dad.

My lips are swollen. No, not from kissing! But from a visit to the dentist.

We had taken the kids to the dentist and since I was there, I might as well have a check up right? So, I braced myself up and pretended that I loved going to the dentist in front of the kids. Well, I don’t love to go to the dentist but …… you know, the things we mother’s have to do. One of them is to be a fine actress.

My daughter had her first scaling experience at the dentist. I’ll update that on my Mothering Times blog where I write about her dental stuff for record purposes. Then it was my turn.

My dentist hates my gums. She says I have very bad gums and am headed towards peridontis (Is that what they call gum decease?). Anyway, she says that my gums are so bad and I am having bone loss and soon I will lose my teeth!

Previously she had encouraged me to brush in between my teeth with a special brush but I had refrained because I was afraid that the friction would cause my numerous crowns to give way. Even flossing makes them shake and feel loose. She laughed at me and said that there was no such thing and that if I feel them move when I brush it means that the bones are going and the teeth will soon follow.

However, I still can’t brush off that image when my crown did fall off once…… at a corporate cocktail party some more! I almosts choked… not  on my teeth which I had to carefully remove without being watched and wrap nicely in a tissue but at the thought of it even as I sailed around the room through the crowd smiling with my mouth shut.

Anyway, during the last visit, the dentist had persuaded me to allow her to cut my gums above one of my teeth and I had complied. This time she said that ideally I have to cut the gums or have gum surgery again, not just in one area but at the back of the whole row of front teeth. *Shivers* but this visit she was just going to do deep cleaning or deep scaling.

“I’m going to give you a jab” she said and I nodded with my mouth full. Then I felt not just one but 3 jabs! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Then she started the drills which was ok with me. I was even glad because I couldn’t feel it. And then she started digging and scrapping and scrapping and digging. And then the gums bled and bled and it couldn’t stop bleeding. So she had to press on it with all her might. It still didn’t stop bleeding. Eventually, she decided she had no choice but to sew it back. So she took this long black thread and did a cross stitch on my gums. Waaaaaaaa!

Now my gums still hurt and my lips are cracked and peeling. The next time I visit the dentist with the kids again, I’ll have to be an even finer actress as I pretend to love the visit.

I stare at my open refrigerator door twice a day to crack my head on what to cook for lunch and dinner. “Why don’t you have a  fixed menu. Cook the same thing every Mon, Tue, etc?” suggested hubby.

Yeee. Boring. I like to try new things. But then I find that I end up cooking the same old things. Haha. So today, instead of cracking my head daily, I shall post up the menu for my entire week! Heheh!

Day 1
Lunch - Fish Porridge
Dinner - Steamed Taufoo, Stir Fried Siew Pak Choy, Braised Potato with Minced Meat

Day 2
Lunch - Fish Ball Tong Hor Soup with  Braised Wantan Mee Noodle
Dinner - Sweet & Sour Fillet Fish, Stir Fried Choy Sum, Hot Dog Omellete, Old Cucumber Soup

Day 3
Lunch - Meat Ball Porridge
Dinner - Chicken Kurma, Grey Oyster Mushroom fried in Cucur Udang Flour, Stir Fried Baby French Beans

Day 4
Lunch - Pineapple Fried Rice
Dinner - Kunyit Fried Fish, Homemade Steamed Siew Mai, Stir Fried White Cabbage, Tomato Soup

Day 5
Lunch - Steamed Brocolli & Carrot, Readymade Deep Fried Fish Fingers
Dinner - Pan Fried Egg Taufoo, Stir Fried Mixed Vegetables, Braised Chicken with Ginger

Day 6
Lunch - Eat out (Yahoo!)
Dinner - Steamed Chicken Rice, Eggs Sunny Side Up, Stir Fried Long Beans with dried prawns

Day 7
Lunch - Egg Sandwiches
Dinner- Sweet & Sour Fish, Joo Hu Char (Stir Fried Carrot with Sengkuang, Steamed Egg with minced meat

Now, I just have to reproduce this and paste it on my refrigerator door. Hahaha.

Seriously, planning a menu is no easy affair. You have to think of the likes and dislikes of every person in the house and try to include a dish that everyone likes. If someone is sick, you must make sure your menu has simple foods for that person too. For example, my girl is sick so instead of making fried wantons for the kids, I’ll make steamed siew mai instead using the same ingredients.

You have to think of how to make use of the leftovers too. For example, if I make soup, I will make a lot and use the leftovers as stock for my porridge or soup the next day. I must also make sure that I have the items or ingredients at home so that I don’t have to rush out to buy them last minute as I shop just once a week. I have to think of the kids too. For example, they will gobble up the cauliflower if I make cauliflower fritters and leave it untouched if I stir fry it as a vegetable. So really must crack head.

After meals, our “dessert” usually consist of fruits, either apple, oranges, papayas, watermelon or mangoes etc. 

I am happy that so far, with the maid, my dream of providing healthy wholesome, nutritious, clean food for the family is coming true. The maid does not cook. She just helps me prepare and wash up but that is a tremendous help.

Previously, I could not cook like this due to lack of time and also due to my condition which makes cooking in front of the open fire with no other adult present a bit more challenging. So, lunch and dinner usually consist of porridge, sandwiches, or my one pot foods, ie steamed rice with everything thrown inside the rice cooker pot or microwaved baked beans, and reheated store bought ready made foods or tapau rice and dishes from nearby shops.

This is a very pleasant change. I am happy. Now, you know why I’ve put on 5 pounds? ;) 

Does anyone know of a good home remedy for cough and phelgm?

I’m having this nasty cough that just won’t go away for 3-4 weeks now. Its disturbing my sleep.

I’m always confused about the Chinese believe of heaty vs cooling. There is supposed to be two types of coughs, the heaty type or the “cold” type. So when do you know what type you have and whether you should drink “leong cha” (cooling herbal drinks) to cool down your heaty body or when should you apply it the other way to balance your cold body?

I never know when to do what. Some doctors will tell me to stay off cooling drinks and fruits, some ask me to drink more “leong cha” whereas some brush this off as utter nonsense.

Some say you should take a course of antibiotics whereas some say you should avoid antibiotics if you can since antibiotics will not help a viral infection. Some prescribe antibiotics anyway, just in case it is a bacterial infection because they can’t tell what it is. The last doc I went to see told me this. “It will take too much time to take samples to the lab to decide if yours is a viral infection by which time you would have healed if you take this antibiotics just in case its a bacterial infection.”

So what am I to do? Its all very confusing. So if mine is a “cold” cough and I take “leong cha” I would actually be making it worse, not better. Hmm…. so how?

What do you know about coughs, phelgm and sputum? Do you know of any good  and simple home remedies? What foods should we avoid and what foods should we take that’ll help? Do you understand the cooling and heaty concept? Do you even believe in it? Care to share?

Over the weekend, my sisters and I attended a health talk about nutrition for people with Alzheimer’s. Since the speaker was talking about the brain, one of the participants went up to him with a question about epilepsy or how to handle someone in a seizure because she had seen her neighbour having one.

Sad to say, many people still have misconceptions about it or do not know much about epilepsy. She was talking rather excitedly.

“Its Gila Babi.” ; “We put a spoon in his mouth.” ; “He’s an electrician, I think it must have affected his brains.”

I wanted to tell her what to do and what not to do when you see someone in a seizure but although she was asking that very question “What to do when you see someone in a seizure.” I felt that her mind was closed to the replies.  She was talking agigatedly rather than listening.

I guess that this misconception about epilepsy compared to other disorders is because of the nature of it. A seizure is very frightening to watch. The person loses conciousness and loses bodily functions and controls, eyes may be jerked upwards, face may turn blue, person may lose bladder control, hands and legs jerking uncontrollably, teeth biting down very very hard on the tongue, frothing around the mouth. Horrible isn’t it? Perhaps that is why people who don’t know much about it call it gila babi! Literally translated that means mad pig. Or they might think that the person has gone into a trance or is possessed by some devil. For it may appear that way.

When I was young, I was told by classmates and teachers (yes, teachers too, teachers who tried to pry a spoon into a poor epileptic girl’s mouth each time she had a fit. I think the teachers shouldn’t have been this disinformed. If you have a child who has epilepsy you should make sure his/her teachers know what to do and what not to do), I was told that if you get bitten by a mad dog thats what will happen to you because when you have a seizure you sometimes foam at the mouth. Have you ever heard that one before? Of course the one about being possessed by spirits is a common one too leading to many drinking “fu” drinks instead of getting the proper medication for it.

So am I a mad pig? Well, I may be a bit mad at times and I am a pig when I see food but I don’t have gila babi. I have epilepsy. It was diagnosed when I was 41 (yeah yeah, I’m that old). I have only had about 5 seizures in all. 3 of them occured on the same day. I am taking medications and my seizures are under control. Besides medication, I try to eat well, sleep well, exercise and not get stressed up over little things. The stress part is harder to control because I have poor emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is a very nice word for someone who likes to scream and shout over small small things.

So tell me, what do you know about epilepsy? Have you ever witnessed anyone having a seizure? How did you feel? Helpless, scared or afraid? If you don’t know much,  you can read my previous post Epilepsy as explained by MG or this one What is Epilepsy from eHealthMD or this interesting one Many “believe myths” on Epilepsy. By knowing what to do to help someone in a seizure, you may be helping someone tremendously so do read up if you have the time.

Ever since the maid arrived, I’ve lost 3 pounds. No, no, not from worries.

The reason is because we eat out less. When eating out, I just can’t help pigging out. Somehow food always tastes nicer when you’re not the one cooking it. Food presentation also matters to me. Food thats nicely presented like in a restaurant, appeals more to me causing me to wallop up the food. Yum! Gulp! *guilty afterwards*

However since the maid arrived, we’ve started eating out less. Its more economical and healthier that way. Thats one of the reasons we have a maid anyway. So we can eat more healthy home cooked food.

At home, I cook and the maid cleans up. Like I said, food always tastes better when someone else cooks it. Thats one step towards my diet plan. Second, when I do the cooking, I usually choose to cook my family and my favourite foods. In addition, I’ll cook up a big wok of vegetables so that I can do my Double It Half It Diet.

Thats my own diet regime by the way. What I do is I Double the servings of vegetables and Half the serving of rice. It works everytime. Thats how I lost 20 pounds last time but then I stagnated after a while. Also, I’m trying to make sure that the maid gets enough food so I put more food on her plate than mine. lol!

I’m happy that I have managed to lose 3 pounds so far. Thanks to homecooking! And thanks to my very own Double It Half It Diet plan. Yeah! (Perhaps I should patent this diet plan!)

Time flies when you’re busy and I’ve been so busy I almost forgot that my birthday is coming soon. Its on the same day as Father’s Day so the man and I had to haggle for treats. “We both want to be pampered on that day. How?” he asks. “We’ll contra or do a setoff then.” I replied. Hey! But come to think of it. Thats not fair because every year my birthday falls around Father’s Day!

Having a birthday in June wasn’t very fun for me when I was in school. It was always right smack in the middle of examinations. I never had the birthday mood then. Another thing about my birthday is once I passed the age of 21, I can never remember which birthday it is I am celebrating. Usually I have to take my year of birth and count forward. Hahaha.

Its no different this year. My year of birth is 1966. *calculate calculate calculate* Walaueh! Thats ancient man. But the funny thing is the older I get the younger I feel. Accept for the body of course. The mind can play games but the body cannot lie. It shows its age and the mechanism slows down too. All sorts of health problems will start to crop up. Thats when the years of not taking care of oneself really starts to show.

Speaking of which, I better go and oil the machinery now by doing some exercises. I just bought some new exercise tapes to motivate myself. So off I go!

I surrender. I never thought I would say this but “I can’t wait for the maid to arrive.” Haha. Actually, I detest the idea of having a maid. I like taking care of my house myself. I enjoy my privacy. I don’t have another person to worry about nor face some of the challenges that those with a maid have to face. I think that if my mum who had 5 kids and no modern amenities can do it then why can’t I?

However, after a week of wiping poo off toilet floors, and vomit from dining floors and handwashing soiled clothing etc etc etc, I give up. I can’t wait for the maid to arrive to assist me with some of the boring household chores so I can concentrate on what matters, my husband and kids and not forgetting myself and my blog too. I wish to spend more quality time with hubby and kids and have more time to myself too.

One day when big sis called to ask how I was right after I had finished spraying detergent on the toilet floors where I had wiped off poo, finished handwashing clothes and dealt with 3 screaming kids (having fun) and 1 which vomitted from too much fun plus the same strain of cough as mine, I laughed and laughed so hard over the phone.

Dad did not make it to the toilet twice to poo this week. But the good thing is he finally agreed to take a bath after those accidents. “I am afraid to take a bath” he tells me. “What is it you are afraid off?” I ask him. “Is it the sound of the water? Is it the cold?” “Its the cold” he says. “You don’t know what its like” he continues. “It leaves me uncomfortable the whole day afterwards, cold all over the body and up to the head.” he says. He agreed to bathe then but changed his mind. I persisted and he agreed at last. I sat outside the bathroom door waiting for him. He took a long time but after he came out he looked relieved and happy and said “That was shiok. I even poured water over my head.” I touched his head and it was wet because sometimes he lies about having had a bath. I guess this bathing thing must be a phobia for him for him to resist it so much. Well that was that till another few weeks again.

He was slow and he was lost. Its sad to see a person lose their ability to do simple tasks. Buttoning his shirts, putting on his trousers, removing his socks requires hard concentration for him. Sometimes he forgets what he should do next. I don’t think he knows what time of the day it is. am or pm? Eat and Sleep is the easiest thing to do.

Dad is back at second sister’s house now and I am glad to have my routine back now that the school holidays is over but that darned cough is still around.

While dad was here, big sis came over a few times. Seeing her must have brought back memories of the time when I had a fit to my girl (she saw more of my sis then) because she spoke to me about it again. “I still don’t understand what is this epilepsy thing.” she said suddenly when we were getting ready to nap. I explained to her again and she told me the story of what happened again. “Did you know that baby and I thought you were a monster and we ran behind the door to hide?” I laughed and explained to her again about epilepsy and seizures in as simple terms as I could. Big big words for a 6 year old but its always better to be open to the kids. I assured her that mummy has not had a seizure for one year now because of medication plus adequate rest and exercise then I asked her “Do you still think I am a monster?” “Yes.” she said. “You always shout at us!” Hahaha. “Well, I won’t shout at you if you promise to be a good girl and good boy.” Oops! I really must control my shouting. Lol.

Its the school holidays and dad is staying with me for a week while sis goes on a holiday with her family. Dad has stroke related dementia. I think his condition has gotten slightly worse. Previously we had trouble getting him to take a bath. Now he won’t even change out of his clothes.

We had taken him out to dinner on Sunday night for an early Father’s Day treat because its hard to get everyone together at the same time. After dinner, he came home with me. He slept in the same clothes he went out for dinner with. He wouldn’t change into his sarong even though I held the sarong out to him and persuaded him at least 3 times.

By Monday night, he was still in the same clothes. He also hadn’t removed his socks. “Pa, you need to change your shirt. Why don’t you wear this T-shirt which is more comfortable.” He shook his head stubbornly.

“Well, at least remove your socks Pa. You’ve been wearing it the whole day.” He shook his head again and said “I’ll wash it when I get home.” (to sister’s place) “You can’t do that because you’re going back only in a week’s time. I’m washing clothes tomorrow, Pa. Please change your shirt. Wear this T-shirt. Its more comfortable.” I persisted.

“No, I like this shirt.” he said. “Well, I like this shirt too. I bought it for you. Let me wash it first, then you can wear it again tomorrow if you like. You can’t be so unhygienic. You’ve got to change your clothes, Pa.” Now his expression turned defiant and he said “Don’t force me to change clothes.”

I let out a big sigh and walked away. What to do? I don’t know. He has not had a bath for 2 weeks now. Sister sms to inform us before we met for dinner. I had hoped to get him to take a bath while he is staying with me but I couldn’t even get him to change his clothes or remove his socks.

Its Wednesday now. He is still wearing the same shirt but at least he changed into his sarong after our conversation about the socks and shirt. I noticed he has removed his socks too yesterday. He wouldn’t take a bath but he would use a tissue to wipe his face and neck. He does this all day. Wiping with the tissue and rolling them into big perfect tissue balls made of tissues stuffed in more tissues. Sometimes he doesn’t wipe. He just rolls the tissue balls. I saw four maybe five balls in the bin yesterday. When I saw him doing this in the morning, I hurriedly went to get a warm towel for him to wipe his face. At least he didn’t reject that.

I’ve taken him to the bathroom before, brought his towel and turned on the shower only to have him tell me “You show me also no use. I won’t bathe.” Then I tried to get a pail of warm water and a towel and put it in his room for him and told him to wipe himself with that. He did not touch it.

Its very hard for us to manage him. He is our dad. We need to be firm with him but at the same time we can’t belittle him and treat him like a child. But what to do when he won’t take a bath for weeks? We have tried talking to him or tying the bath with occassions so far the occassions thing seem to work. “You have to bathe because we’re going out to…..”

I wish I knew a little bit more about how to handle patients with dementia. I wonder what goes on his mind. I wonder what he is thinking. I wonder what he is feeling.

Most of the time he is still alert enough to play with the kids and watch out for them. At other times he looks completely lost. He struggles with handling gadgets, not only gadgets but things like buttons, snaps, straps. Things that most of us take for granted like removing our shirt buttons or wearing our shoes can be difficult for him which is probably why he resists it I guess. And sometimes he does not know what to do next. “Eat/Sleep now is it?” he would ask.

He has good days and bad. On the good days, he will be like his old self again but then he will go into high gear wanting to do everything that he used to do. He would take a bath then and even wash the toilet! Go to the bank, the laundrette, and all the old places he used to go. Call big sister or my aunts up in the early morning or in the middle of the night to chat. It would be as if the months that passed in between did not happen for him. Once on a good day, he went to the laundrette to collect some clothes he had left there for washing 3 months ago on another good day. On those days it will be as if his brain is working overtime making up for lost time. He may not sleep for up to 24 hours scaring us and then after that he will sleep for the entire day and be back to his new quiet self. 

I feel as if I’ve lost half my dad after his stroke a few years ago which left him with dementia.

I’ve been too busy this school holidays to blog. I’ve been sick. First with some infection then now with a cold. Its so draggy this cold. The kids want to do every craft and lesson with mum during the holidays so I’ve been busy with that too because I promised them. We’ve made castles on a card, bracelets, rings, paper fans etc. Normally I would take pics of them and post them on my parenting blog but I just don’t have the energy or time to do that now. And then theres dad to watch too.

As usual my housework is down on my list of priorities so the house is covered with dust. I really must do something about that before I discover another rat. Blogging has also been pushed down to the end of my list. Oh well, there are other things that matter but I do miss visiting my friends in blogosphere. And then theres my exercises. I MUST do them for health’s sake not for beauty but I have lagged using my cold as an excuse. I WISH I HAD MORE TIME,  MORE HOURS IN A DAY! Fortunately I have an understanding husband who closes one or perhaps both eyes to the dust and helps me by packing food home for dinner more often. Poor dear. I’ll get on top of it soon. I’ll try my best.

Oh gosh this post is getting long and draggy like my cold. I’m just going on and on and on. It must be blog withdrawal syndrome. I should stop here.

I’ve got to exercise for health reasons. The fact that exercise helps in the beauty department is a bonus. However, I must say that I am obsessed with excercise. Not obsessed in the sense that I MUST do some exercise 2 hours daily (like Madonna) or else…. but rather I am obsessed with the thought that I SHOULD be doing my exercises or else…. Hahaha.

Yup! I am obsessed with exercise. Each day, I feel some pressure about the fact that I am not doing the exercises that I am SUPPOSED to be doing. Exercise should be a way of life, I tell myself. It should be part of my daily routine. At the very minimum all I need is just 20 minutes 3 times a week. But I slack and then I worry myself silly.

I wish that I was motivated to exercise. I admire those who are so strong willed and who have made exercise a part of their lives. I admire those who can get up early in the morning and do exercises as part of their routine before they start the day. I just want to zzzzzzzzzzzz and press the snooze button for the 3rd maybe 4th time…

The other day I was passing by a corner lot shophouse and I was amazed to see a group of people doing some group exercises at about 9.30pm on a weekday. My goodness! Gyms and Yoga or other health and fitness centres are sprouting everywhere. More and more people are becoming aware of the need to exercise to keep healthy.

Are you obsessed with exercise too? Do you HAVE to exercise or are you WORRIED because you DON’T or you don’t care at all. Which category to you fall under?