Archive for the 'Life Observation' Category

What makes an attractive person. To me an attractive person is one who is confident yet humble. That is a potent combination yet not easy to find.

Self image, self esteem, self assurance is the best gift we can give to our children. I hope I can teach my children to have a good image of themselves because I never had it. I’m still working on it.

I remember in college, I had a guy friend who had very poor self image. He was rich. He drove a car and the popular girls were drawn to him because of it ie they made use of him to get around. Yet he had no confidence. He started every sentence with “I’m sorry but……….” Years later I bumped into him. He had married and had two kids. He was working as a car salesperson. Yet, he still looked sorry and sad. I don’t know what made him like this.

If there was a scale of 1 to 10 for self assurance, I would rate this person at a 1 and myself at 6 maybe 7. I used to be around 4-5. I am continuing to work on it. I think blogging helps. It helps to repeat and say positive things to oneself. It also helps to have positive reinforcement and you get a lot of those in blogging. You get interaction and positive reinforcement.

However, there is always too much of a good thing. Too much positive reinforcement, too much of “You’re so good in this or that ……..” can make your head big. Then you start to write all sorts of nonsense thinking that you are so good and that you know so much etc etc etc and you start to impose your ideas on others. That makes you a boor and a snob and that is so unattractive. Modesty is still the best policy.

Like everything else in life, it is not easy to strike a balance but you must have balance in all that you do and you must have balance if you want to become a better person.

If you’re not fortunate enough to be living in a gated and guarded community, or  you don’t live in a condo, then you’ve probably heard of a security patrol team by your local Residents’ Association. These have mushroomed all over our urban residential areas or housing estates in recent years.

In the past, there was never a need for such things and I’ve never heard of them before but now, you can see security patrols  by guards hired by residence patroling the housing areas. A sure sign that crime is on the rise. Many homes now carry stickers that their house is subscribing to a certain security patrol, paying an extra RM30 to RM40 a month if I am not mistaken. My house is one of them.

However, I wonder how everyone feels about this. We feel that we want very much to improve the security in our area and that is why we dutifully pay the subscription fee for extra security surveillance. We feel that since it is a community kind of thing, it will only be successful, if everyone contributes or does their part by subscribing and so we subscribe faithfully even though, its hard for us to even pay up and after paying we don’t even have a receipt.

The excuse is that since the team is manned by volunteers and so… we’re not to have overly high expectations (like getting a receipt?). Oh well…. We do receive quarterly reports about the security in our area and we feel a (perhaps a wrong) sense of security seeing the guards patrolling our area in their motorbikes and cars and having an emergency number to call, just in case.

Yesterday, I met a friend who stays in a “crime zone” (which area isn’t that now). His neighbour’s houses had been broken in (both side and opposite). He does not subscribe to the security surveillance service that is available though. His feeling is. “What is the point anyway?” Besides, “you don’t even know if the security team is in cahorts with the burglars or thieves.” he added.

I wonder what does everyone else feel about such security patrols? Are you paying extra for it? How do you feel about this? Do you think it has reduced crime?

I keep on receiving scary emails about people being hijacked from their cars and houses being broken into. I know some of these emails may not be true but some of them come from people we actually know. I used to feel safer living in a condo but apparently even living in a condo is not safe anymore. The other day, I visited the old condo where I used to live. The maintenance person there told us that they are now stepping up security to have the guards going around floor by floor every hour because of crime. According to the guy some tenants do not like this but they have no choice. The burglars now come from within ie the modus operandi is to rent the premise for a few months, then strike when their neighbours are out.

Almost everyone I know has witness a crime or has had some personal experience. I feel so unsafe. The other day, I happened to be eating at the roadside with my handbag (I normally don’t carry my handbag when I eat at the roadside) and I was very distracted throughout my meal because I have to keep on clutching my handbag close to me and glancing around every few minutes. (I’ve had friends whose had their handphones or bags snatched while they were enjoying their meal, thats why I have this paranoia). Afterall, crime happens partly because of opportunity and we can reduce that opportunity by being more aware of our surroundings and it doesn’t hurt to be extra careful, right? Can you tell me what you have done to reduce the opportunity of crime to your person, car and home?

“He is four years old. Why isn’t he in kindy yet?”

I’ve gotten used to hearing this by now. I still hear it quite often when my 4 year old boy tags along to his sister’s kindy. I hear it from the teachers, the other parents as well as grandparents. They won’t leave us alone. Everytime I meet a new parent, they’d ask this question and look at us as though we’re weird. It annoys me to no end.

The kindy where my girl attends has 

• 1 six year old class, 
• 1  five year old class,
• 2 four year old classes,  
• 1 three year old class and
• the under threes are grouped together and considered the daycare class.

Some of them come to school with bolsters, pillows, pacifiers and are still in diapers. Some of them look like they’ve just learned to walk. Notice that the kindy has more classes for 4 year olds compared to the five and six  year olds. What does that tell you?

It tells me that the entry age for kindy has been brought down significantly. Why? I suppose its because we now live in a competitive world where both parents are working and we simply have no choice and if we don’t send our kids, they will not be learning anything at home and we’re worried they will be left behind. Yada yada yada.

I guess if one really does not have a choice, its ok if you send your child to a playschool to play. But no, the kids are now subjected to at least 3 years of kindy ie K1, K2 and K3. The learning environment is structured with many subjects like Math, English, Malay, Mandarin, Science, Moral, and there is homework and tests. (Previously there was only kindy, then there was K1 and K2, now we have K1, K2 and K3. What next? K4 I suppose.) I think its crazy.

My 4 year old is at home and they think I’m crazy. Some tell me “But you have the luxury of being home to teach him.” No, I don’t have the time to teach him all the time. Sometimes I just let him watch TV but I think thats perfectly fine for a 4 year old. So I’m probably crazy. More crazy then the parents who say “But I’m so worried my kid will not learn anything at his grandparent’s.” I understand those who do not want to leave the kid alone at home with the maid but not wanting to leave the kid in the comfort of home with loving grandparents? Hmmmm….

My girl didn’t attend any playschool, playgroup, Sunday school, nursery or whatever you call it. She stayed at home with me and went to kindy for the first time at 6 years old. And no, she did not turn out to be a social pariah. (As some predicted. Those are not my words.) No, she is not left behind. No she is not miserable in kindy. On the contrary, she is one of the above average students (according to her teacher), she has many friends and she participates in class by asking questions and she loves kindy. Right from the very first day. I didn’t have to deal with any tears.

But I was worried. I was so worried that she’d be left behind. I was worried that she’d not know how to socialise (she was a very shy kid to the extent of hiding under the table when my sis came to visit). She was very clingy too.

My boy is much more clingy than her. He is like a koala bear with super glue. But I shall not worry. I shall not worry the next time I hear “He is four years old. Why isn’t he in kindy yet?” along with the weird glances we receive. I shall be sending him next year at age 5. And thats it! Just leave us alone!

I am sure that most Malaysians has heard of the online reality show called Malaysian Dreamgirls. Its coming to an end on 29th April 2008 at the Oval, One Utama. Did you watch any episodes?

I didn’t because I don’t have the time but I did check out the website for a peek. What I did not like about it is that in some of the photos you find the girls dressing in skimpy outfits posing in suggestive and provocative poses. Whatever for? To increase ratings and voting?

Take a look at this photo gallery of the Malaysian Dreamgirls in wardrobe by Women’s Secret. I suppose its to show how the girls look posing in inner wear. However, I find that the photos are too revealing. I don’t mind the girls posing in swimwear for a contest but this looks unnecessary.

Oh well, I must really be getting old or perhaps its just the fact that I have a daughter now. And if my girl was to pose suggestively like that wearing those revealing outfits on an online site, I’d freak out!

I’d like to get some opinion on the men and women on this. Women, what do you think of those poses and outfits. How would you feel if your daughter were to were revealing clothes and pose like that on the internet for a contest? Men, you can come back and comment after you have finished wiping off the saliva from your faces. Would you allow your daughter, girlfriend to take part in the contest?

The other day, I was window shopping at a shopping complex in KL when I saw a small crowd gathering in front of a window display. Out of curiousity (KPC), I too went over to have a look. I haven’t the time to upload the photo yet so I shall describe it the best I can.

In the window display was a water tank and in it I saw two pairs of feet and lots of little fishes nibbling away at the two pairs of feet! At first I thought it was some new marketing gimmick. You know, sometimes you see magic shows and escape artists doing their act in the water.

But it was no marketing gimmick. Its the latest spa therapy. A designer spa to rejuvenate, relax and beautify. The little fish nibbling at your nerve endings is good apparently. Sorry I can’t give more information because I was too busy chasing after two kids to listen to what the marketing person was saying and by now the brochure they handed me has been torn up by the same two little kids.

Anyway this is not a review so I don’t have to worry about the accuracy. I am just speaking my thoughts. It just shows that we live in a world of added stress leading to more and more people seeking new alternative forms of treatments.

If you are interested in having your feet snacked on by Dr Fish you can check out this NST story link for a more detailed story about the fish spa.

They are catching them younger and  younger these days, the consumer ads.

I remember those days when I was wadling in and out of my gynaes clinic when I was pregnant, I received loads of product samples, milk powders, diapers, creams, more milk powders….. I don’t mind the diapers…. Anyway, the point is, all these while my baby was still snug in mummy’s tummy.

Then I remember an occassion when my children’s regular paeditrician was off and I went to another. I was horrified. His entire clinic was full of glass showcases with all sorts of consumer products on display! I am quite annoyed with paeditricians who recommend milk powders instead of promoting breastfeeding.

Recently, my daughter came home from kindy with yet more product samples. “Mummy these are party packs” she told me innocently. “And look, mummy, if you buy one at $16, you will get one T-shirt free. I want the T-shirt.” she declared. I’ll need to have a word with the principal if this continues.

Oh and don’t forget the TV. I don’t subscribe to pay TV (Astro here) so fortunately my kids don’t get influenced by TV ads. Phew! Or I’d be hassled with more “I want!” at the supermarket.

When they hit the teen years, the ads will keep on coming and it never stops and it never will. Lets face it. Young consumers means big $$$$$$.

These ads and product samples aimed at the young annoy me so especially the milk powder ones and the junk food ads on TV (with the exception of the free diapers Ahem!). What about you?

The difference between living in a house and a condo is that in a house, sometimes you have unwelcome visitors ringing your doorbell. From salespersons, to grass cutters, to surveyors etc etc etc.

So when the bell goes *DING DONG* normally what I would do is take a peek to see who it is. If its a dubious character or someone I don’t know, I usually pretend I’m not in. Being the paranoid being that I am, I’m worried that if I decline their offer for services, they may get angry and come back for revenge. Haha. No, seriously, its easier to feign being out than to answer to some of these undesirable visitors.

However, recently I found out that pretending that I’m out is not such a good idea anymore. I heard that there is a new modus operandi by those crooks who do daytime breakins. What they will do is send someone who looks trustworthy like a child or an elderly person to ring your doorbell with some excuse and if you don’t answer, they breakin into your house.

Now, what shall I do when the bell goes *DING DONG* Hmmm…. with pretending to be out no longer such a good idea, I still hate the idea of opening my doors to unwanted visitors.

*DING DONG* Oh oh. What shall I do now?

I don’t think anyone forsaw or expected the historical election results. Not the voters, not the BN government and not even the opposition. No one did. But now that we’re here, what now? Whats going to happen next? I see many voters in euphoria but after the euphoria is gone, reality sets in. The stock market is down sharply today for example.  

Updated: The stock market hit limit down 10% during the day and had to be shut down for an hour due to automatic suspension under the stock exchange rules to prevent panic selling. 

Most Malaysians who voted, voted for change. They did not vote for the candidate or the party. They voted for change. But will change come? That remains to be seen. And like any change, change is stressful sometimes even if the change is good. And changes cannot happen overnight even though you may wish it does so one must be patient. And with change comes uncertainty and perhaps a short term instability.

I forsee lots of internal bickering and power struggles and fights on both sides. It will not be easy for the opposition coalition made up of a multiracial party, a largely Chinese one and an Islamic one to work together on issues of National interest. Not easy at all. Not with their different racial and ethnic backgrounds.

It is not easy to manage a country with diverse racial and religious backgrounds like ours. It is not easy to keep everyone happy, to make everyone feel that they are having a fair share of the pie. Even at the start the difficulty has begun. Now that the Indians have turned their support away from the MIC having cast out most of the leaders, they must still get enough voice in parliament as before or there will be unhappiness. Will the Chinese understand why the CM of Perak is not a DAP candidate even though DAP won largely in that state (if that happens). But then most of them do not know that there is a law that the CMs must be Malay in states where there is a Sultan. (or so I heard). If this is true than this should be properly explained to everyone or it could lead to a lot of unhappiness. These are really sensitive issues that must be handled with care less they escalate into unhappiness among the races. Actually the best man should be picked but I think we are still not mature enough politically to rise above racial politics.

Updated: “The state constitution rules that the menteri besar has to be a Malay Muslim, but Section 12(2) provides the sultan the discretion to waive the requirement.” sourced from NST Perak to get coalition govt, sultan to pick MB

Will the Malays in the states now ruled by PAS question any double standards if any for example if they disallow certain non-Islamic activities in Kelantan but not in the other states they govern? They have said that they will continue to allow those to go on because they have to respect the rights of their coalition partners. Malaysia’s opposition Islamic party pledges to respect minority rights.

And what about the candidates. Most of them are new and inexperienced. Most of them won because they were simply carried along with the wave of change. Some against better more experienced MPs who had been serving well. It will be no mean task for them to pick up the pieces or the shreds and give the rakyat the change that they crave. How do you change in 5 years what has existed for 50 years?

To me, the first thing that should go is corruption. It is because of corruption that we have potholes in our roads, schools that need to be demolished after they are built because they are not fit for use, buildings that collapse, bus drivers that continue to be on the road despite the fact that they have so many summonses, escalating crime rates etc. I think that these are the basic things that should be tackled first. Then there are the price hikes that cause unhappiness and there are projects that need to go on.  Gosh! There is lots to do and very little time to do it. They should prove themselves before the next election. Look at what happened to Pak Lah. He promised changes but he did not deliver.

But tackling them will be an uphill task. I just hope that the candidates that were carried along with the tsunami of change and appointed along with it will deliver and deliver fast. But it will not be easy. Not with the internal bickering and power fights that is bound to happen within BN (now that some of its pillars are out) as well as within the opposition coalition that is so new. Its just a political baby without the years of working together as a coalition as the BN has. Will they be able to work together? Well, I hope so for the sakes of all Malaysians.

It will be interesting to watch the new faces of Parliament next.

I remember when we were dating he used to insist hint that I dress in a certain manner. (Translates : High heels and body hugging dresses).

After he got me and even before we were married, his preference for my dressing changed to relaxed. All of a sudden he preferred me to dress down rather than dress up.(Translates: Bermuda shorts, pants, shirts, sneakers.) 

Now that we are married, I don’t think he notices what I wear or even cares. (Translates: Thats married life!)

I’m curious. Are all men like these? Gals, does he prefer you to …..

1. Dress up?
2. Dress down?
3. Don’t care?

And what is YOUR own preference? Do you dress for him or for yourself? Do you prefer to dress up or otherwise?

Guys, Do you prefer your ladies to…..

1. Dress Up (Translates: Dress Sexily)
2. Dress Down (Translates: Cover Up)
3. Don’t Care? (No need translation)

During the end of last year as we were shopping for Christmas gifts, we got ourselves a voucher which entitled me to a make-up and photo session. “You only have to pay RM30 for a full-blown A4 sized photo”, they said. So hubby nudge nudge me and said “You want to try ah” and thats what led me to sit in the middle of the shopping mall and have my face all made up and then put on silly looking faux fur tops, grin and pose for all the shoppers to see. But nothing much to see, only an old aunty trying to capture the essense of youth again. Hahaha.

After the silly posing session, came the interesting photo touch-up session. “Can you make her look 20 years younger ah?” my husband asked and later on “Not enough, maybe another 10 years?” “Can you make her teeth whiter?” *kicks Mr MG* We watch the man magically erase all the lines and other blemishes away on the PC. Wuah. Shioknya.

After that came payment time. We took out our RM30 but wait a minute! “Ma’am, Sir, if you pay RM120 only, you get to keep the software plus have 4 A4 sized photos instead of one. You want anot?” Hmmm it was certainly tempting to have more flawless looking pictures of myself around but err where would I put 4 A4 sized pics of myself ler so we declined. “No? Well, then how about having 3 small sized photos in a little album plus the software. Only RM90.” Still tempting but I declined since I don’t have three boyfriends to give the photos to. “Still no? Well then how about a frame for your photo. We’ll laminate the photo for you before framing. Only RM70.” A tad bit expensive but we needed a frame for it anyway so…….

And that my friend is the price of Vanity. Our free voucher turned out to be daylight robbery. There is no such thing as a free lunch. And free vouchers are a con job to get you to spend more and more and MORE! Always read the fine print. It usually forbids you from buying the things that you really want and the expiry date usually runs out pretty quickly so you’d want to hurry up and spend again.

So, now that you all know how vain I am, would you be kind enough to hop over my other blog and Vote for me, please?