Super Mom Tee

Super Mom, Super Wife, Super Tired. That’s what this T-Shirt for Moms says and that’s what I am feeling at the moment. That’s what I think I’ve tried to do. I’ve always tried my best to be a good mom and a good wife but some days, I’m just super tired like today. Must be due the April Fool effect.

I’m tired. It’s not easy trying to live up to the high expectations of your spouse. The man thinks I don’t support him, when the kids do not behave it’s always MY fault. I’m so tired, really tired. What about me? What about my own dreams and aspirations. I am very excited about a project I am working on at the moment but who cares about it? No one accept me. I am so excited about it I want to burst but the kids are too young to understand and when I show it to the man, he is not very interested as I had expected.  He is more interested in me not spending too much time on it at the expense of the family.

Anyway, I don’t want to write about this too much. Writing negatively makes me think more negatively which only results in me being more upset which is why all my spaces online are positive ones. No ranting. I’m going to need some exercises to work off these bad feelings. In fact, I think I’m going to need to run a half marathon to work this one off.

No negatives. Only positives. So I’m going to forget about my Super Mom Tee and stick a 13.1 sticker on my current t-shirt instead to remind myself to work off the negative vibes.

Mother’s Day is coming soon. I’m not expecting anything from the family. The kids are always still too young and the father never makes an effort to “go get something for mom” so I’m just going to make myself happy by working on my project quietly. Oops! I forgot. I started ranting again. That’s no good. I’m going to go go run a half marathon now instead. A good sweat is what I need right now.

“Am I The Only One To Feel This Way?” Have you ever asked yourself this question. I think at some point of our lives we would all have asked this soul searching question. Sometimes having to ask ourselves this make us feel even more alone somehow.

I have asked this question many times before. I was a lonely teenager. My mom died when I was 10. Father was too busy with work and making sure the 5 of us siblings had a good education. I had to grow up fast on my own. Due to the nature of Father’s job, (Father was a policeman), we had to go wherever he was stationed or transferred. This meant that I had to change schools often. I felt like a nomad.

I was fortunate that dad was stationed at the same place for the first 15 years so at least I had some stability during my early school years. I stayed at 4 different states when I was 15, 16, 17 and 18. Each year was different. I had to adept by making new friends in new circumstances and surroundings. It didn’t help that I was shy and taciturn. When I was 17, I didn’t have my family around me. I stayed with my father’s sisters. I was the only one there. Between my 5 siblings and my dad, we were all living in 5 different states. We were all in different places, separated.

I was lonely. I cried a lot. It was during this time that I made a good friend. She is Kopi Soh. Kopi Soh and I used to dream together. We dreamed of helping others. We also dreamed of writing. I am so proud that Kopi Soh has done what we dreamed about. She helps others a lot in her line of work ie counselling. She has also written an e-book and is in the process of finalising another one.

Her first e-Book is called “Oh, I Thought I Was The Only One”. The book is for everyone who has ever asked or is asking that question. Am I the Only One To Feel This Way? It will make you feel less alone knowing you are not the only one. The book is in the form of personal real life stories with Kopi Soh’s insightful comments and thoughts based on her counselling background. Kopi Soh has a Masters in Psychology, Specializing in Marriage, Family and Child Counseling. Her area of specialty is in working with children, adolescents, couples and families.

Here are some excerpts from the book “Oh I Thought I Was The Only One”

Finding Meaning in Your Personal Struggles…

• “Do I Dare To Be Me?”

• “Do You Ever Feel Alone… Sometimes?”

• “Why Can’t People Understand Me?”

• “Aarggggh! I can’t stop snacking at night!”

• “I Hate The Way I Look”

Friendships….

• “A friendship that almost destroyed me”

• “How Do You Know He Loves You, And Not Her?”

Relationships….

• “People Say Marriage Is A Beautiful Thing… But Is It Really?”

• “I Am Your Wife, Not Your Mother!!”

• “Help! My Husband is a Pefectionist!”

Kids….

• “Teaching Your Teenager How To Care About Others”

Growing Old…

• “When Did I Become Old?”

Coming to Terms with yourself….

• “Go Ahead, Do Not Be Afraid To Be Happy…”

Plus MUCH more!

I am proud and pleased to offer this book to anyone who visits this page at a special price plus 2 audio gifts. Here’s what you get for just $9.90

Self Help Book

The e-book “Oh I Thought I Was The Only One” which retails at $37.00

Relaxing Music

Relaxing Music Collection (Worth $19.95)

Ambient Sounds

Ambient Sounds Collection (Worth $19.95)

You read that right. You’ll get all 3 for just $9.90 Check it out. Click on the link below.

“Oh, I Thought I Was The Only One”

We are all not alone even in our deepest moments of loneliness. Sometimes it helps just to read an inspiring book and listen to some relaxing music.

We were raised very differently, my spouse and I. He was brought up in a strict manner. His parents were strict on food, strict on toys, strict on studies. As for me, mom died when I was 10. Dad was a policeman and he had 5 of us to look after in addition to making sure we had enough money for our education etc. I don’t think he had very much time to ponder on how we were being raised. So I was left pretty much to myself.

It is because of this difference in the way that we were raised that constantly comes up between us when we are trying to raise our own kids. It is not that we want it that way but it is hard to change our values and the way we were brought up ourselves. For example, the spouse believes in pushing the kids in their studies. He wants them to have the values of doing the best that they can. He wants them to learn that they have to work hard for what they want. Nothing wrong with that. These are good values to have.

However, it causes challenges for me. I want the kids to have time to be kids. To play and be happy. So, I the primary caregiver since I am at home with them most of the time, am not meeting up to his standards of working hard. For instance, during the school holidays he wants me to sit down and do revision with the kids. His reasoning is I should do so otherwise they will have a hard time when school starts. (and this is true).  If we don’t take the opportunity to do some work during the holidays, quite often we have a hard time catching up in school during school days but I reasoned that if we work them hard during the holidays too, then when will they ever have a holiday? When will they ever get time to play?

Of course the spouse being the family man that he is tries to make sure they have time to play as well. He makes time for them, takes them to the movies, out to the mall etc. Still, I feel a little bit stressed and worked up every time he asks me “So, did you all do some work today?” and the pressure to get good results is very high during exam periods. Recently, my girl did not do very well for her essay papers in Chinese and Malay. I told him that she had worked very hard and his “You must not only work hard but work smart” resonates in my ears and in my heart.

I am not a very good teacher. I feel so overwhelmed looking at all the things that they don’t know and I don’t know where to start. We seem to go around in circles. It is really hard trying to teach the kids 3 languages plus Maths and Science. The spouse teaches the kids Maths and Science so that helps but getting them to be good in 3 languages? That’s really really tough. Sigh. This post was tough to write too. I don’t know how to put my thoughts into words the way I usually am able to. I’m rambling. Its all wrong.

“Love may start quickly but love that is patient, slow and kind survives in the long run” quoted by MG

If saying I Love You is hard for you, then try some of these ways to say I Love You….

1. Smile at each other across the room
2. An unexpected hug
3. Do things together
4. Reminisce about good times
5. Greet each other. Say Hello, Goodbye, Good Morning and Good Night (without being distracted)
6. Say I’m sorry. Forgive and Forget. Never go to bed angry with each other
7. Be Polite, Gentle and Kind to one another. Say Thank You.
8. Do things for him or her. Cook or tidy up or remind etc without nagging
9. Put away your cell phone and talk to each other or text each other if you can’t put away that cell phone
10. Be silly together. Laugh.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE!

We did it at last. We finally converted our Wedding Tape from VHS to DVD. It’s about time too! We had kept our old VCR player (that is an old player that plays VHS tapes) up till now just for this purpose but never really gotten round to doing it till now. At first, I wanted to send my VHS tape to the photo shop for conversion. The man at the shop said, “Yes, you had better do it now. It will be harder and harder now to convert your old VHS memories into DVD format.” It’s almost obsolete now, we all know that and that is why he wanted to charge me RM140 for each hour of tape. Whoa…. I probably need to pay less than that for an old VCR Player.

So finally we did it and this was how we did it.

1. You will need a VCR Player and your old VHS tape (Borrow one from a friend if you don’t have one)

2. Next, you need a DVD player with a recordable function and a blank dvd disc

3. Then you will need a 3 RCA to 3 RCA Phono Cable for Audio and Video Connections color coded white, red and yellow. (Well at least, I think that’s what it’s called. It looks like a black cable wire with red, yellow and white ends on both sides. Here is a picture of the 3 RCA to 3 RCA Cable.

4. Make sure your DVD player is connected to your TV

5. Then you connect one end of the 3 RCA cable to your VCR Player’s Video and Audio Out Ports. If you are not sure, just follow the color coding and make sure you see the word “out”. Here is a view of the back of the VCR player, full view and close up view.

6. Connect the other end of the 3 RCA Cable to your DVD Audio and Video In ports. There are two audio in ports for left and right audio and one video in port. Again, you should follow the color coding and look for the words “In”

7. Make sure that both the VCR Player and DVD Player as well as the TV are all connected to power points.

8. Turn on the TV to the correct viewing channel for the DVD Player. Select the Video Source (You may have to read up your DVD manual to find out how to record from external device like the VCR  as the instructions for that may be different depending on the DVD player you are using).

9. Finally, insert the VHS tape into your VCR player and press play on the VCR player then hit record on the DVD player.

10. Last of all, my recorded DVD cannot be played on other players or the PC. I had to take some final steps to finalise. This I did by pressing Disc Menu, selecting “Finalise” and “OK”. Again the steps to this may differ if you are using different DVD players. I am using the PHILIPS DVDR 3600.

After that I have a brand new wedding DVD converted from analogue to digital format playable on any other DVD player as well as my computer.

We saved RM140 for each hour of tape and at last we have our wedding memories preservered again in a format that isn’t outdated and obsolete. Not only did we save the money, we had a lot of fun watching our wedding video over again and laughing at the memories from 10 years ago. How fast technology has evolved.