Archive for the 'Marriage & Relationships' Category

Does your spouse read your blog and how do your feel about it?

Mine does not. At first I was very disappointed that he did not. I was so hard up for him to read my blog that I went to the extend of emailing him entire blog posts complete with comments. Hahaha.

I thought that if he didn’t read my blog, it meant that he did not care about what I thought. I also thought that it meant he didn’t support my blogging hobby. In fact, at first he told me it was a waste of time and he didn’t understand why anyone would blog.

I thought it meant that he was not interested to know another part of me ie the part that comes out in writing. We all have many personalities and I believe the part that comes out in writing may not necessarily be the same as the one that gets portrayed in person. Sometimes the part that comes out in writing is a deeper more meaningful personality. Sometimes in writing you see more of a person.

In that same vein, I tried to encourage him to have a blog because I wanted to know him better. I wanted to read his thoughts because he is not very expressive. (like most men.) If he had a blog, I would probably read it word for word, post for post and try to dissect it. Maybe thats why he dare not have a blog. Hahaha.

So, I was disappointed for a while but not anymore. I don’t know when the change occured but all of a sudden, I saw it in a different light. I saw that the fact that he didn’t read my blog meant that he wanted to give me more personal space and as a matter of fact it has given me more personal space. Now I can rant as much as I like. Hahaha. But I seldom rant about him lah. Not because I fear he may be reading but I feel something as personal as a husband and wife relationship should be left that ie personal. I only talk about him if its something good that I want to share or remember and not because I fear that he may be reading. Thats why I have a Marriage and Relationships category. It would be something general though but in relation to a personal experience. Although I must say that many times I have been tempted to sit down here and bang away at my keyboard when I am really mad at him! Hahaha.

So although I wouldn’t mind if he did read my blog, now I’m actually glad he does not. So I never have to deal with him questioning me “How come you wrote that?” “Wow, you spend so much time blogging?” (He’d probably say that about me taking pics and posting up my kids crafts. Check out our latest craft here: Chain Paper Dolls. Hehe.) etc. So I’m perfectly fine with him not reading my blogs now. This way, I never have to worry about him misreading or having my blog post misconstrued by him. I think people who know you well may actually read more into what you have written. But I still admire those spouses who are close enough to blog together no I should say I admire those spouses who can blog together, for not blogging together does not mean that you are not close. I think that blogging by one spouse can sometimes lead to some misunderstandings or issues so what more when both parties blog.

Speaking about spouses reading blogs, I wonder whether parents should read their children’s blogs. Almost all of my nephews and nieces have blogs but their parents don’t read them simply because they’re not very computer savvy and don’t know how to find their blogs in the first place but some of them would like to read just to know their child better and to know whats going on.

I guess that if my children are older and have blogs I would want to read them. I don’t think its an invasion of their privacy because it is afterall a public blog. If you post something in public then you must be prepared for everyone to read what you have written, not only those who don’t know you personally. However, I know of many children who hate having their parents reading their blogs especially mums.

I don’t mind if my siblings read my blog but I don’t think they have the time to follow my blog that closely since they’re not bloggers themselves and they all have their own lives to lead.

As for friends, I don’t mind if they read my blog since its just an extension of me and I have nothing to hide. Sadly though, I don’t have that many close friends whom I care enough to give away my personal thoughts to and thats why I keep the url to myself instead of sharing it freely.

And if I had a boss, no, I would not want my boss to read my blog! Nor would I want any colleagues to, even if I don’t rant about work. I believe one must keep work and personal life separate but thats just me. Others may feel differently.

What about my children? If they are grown and they would like to, I certainly wouldn’t mind them reading my blog. I think they would find the archives about bring them up quite funny. Too bad I don’t post pictures, otherwise they would find it even more amusing or perhaps they may go “Awe mum! Why did you pose that naked pic of me?” Hahaha. Mums, have you thought of that?

Independent Thought: If you really are the kind of person who loves to stick with their memories, and often does an online file sharing, then it’s good to have backup computer files of your blog on your pc. Keeping a blog backup is like a memory bag always there for you and your loved ones. Try to install some data recovery programs for the purpose of data recovery , on your pc that are compatible with your blogging soft ware.

In order to prevent the situation where you lament that your partner is not the same anymore sometimes its important to do a little exercise as follows. 

Can you think back to the time when you were dating and about all the nice things you did for each other and then let your mind float back to the present and think about now. Does he/she still treat you the same? You should also ask yourself Do YOU still treat him/her the same?

I remember when I was his girlfriend and he said he wanted to have home cooked meals, I would drive home to my apartment after work, cook up a meal for the both of us then pack them nicely into a tiffin carrier before driving to wait for him at a petrol station to wait for him. Yes, thats right. I didn’t have the key to his place and he worked later than me. So I would wait for him at the petrol station with my little tiffin carrier of hot home cooked food. He would call me on his way home and we would chat on the phone while I waited for him.

Ahhhh what a sweet girlfriend. No wonder he married me. Hahaha. And what has he got now? A grouchy old lady who shouts at the kids when he gets home.

What about him? When we dating, I remember once on my birthday, he bought me shoes then told me he was taking me on a trip to walk on those new shoes. Another time, he bought me new tyres for my car and then took me on a trip on those new tyres. Haha.

Now what have I got now? For my recent birthday he surprised me with something I had wanted all my life. A piano. Then the next day he took me to the bookstore to buy a “Learn to play the piano on your own” book. And then he signed me up for piano lessons and told me that he will send me for my piano lessons and wait with the kids for the half hour lessons to finish before going home together. I’m so excited. I can’t wait for my first lesson even though I’m probably the oldest student there but who cares!

He knows that learning to play the piano is my lifetime dream so he is now making my dream come true. Now I can truly say that I married my the man of my dreams. Hahaha.

Ok. So whats the point of this exercise? Well comparing the us then and the way we treated each other then and the us now and the way we treat each other now, I think I better….. BUCK UP before my man decides to change model. Better increase those back rubs, foot massages and feeding him fruits along with the kids while he relaxes in front of the tv after dinner which he likes AND reduce the shouting at the kids. Hahaha.

What about you? Do you still treat each other the same? Care to share?

 

I keep each and every one of the cards I’ve received for all of my birthday’s, on all the Valentine’s Days, Christmas Days etc. Each and every one of them.

Sadly, I’ve stopped receiving them. Now I only get digital cards which disappear Poof! into thin air after I’m through viewing them.

Are you sentimental too? Do you keep your old cards? If you do, you better hide the ones from old boyfriends/girlfriends before the spouse finds them. Hahaha.

It was business as usual for us yesterday on Mother’s Day. We went shopping for groceries but since there was a sale we bought some stuff which we had wanted to buy anyway. We bought some pillow cases and a stainless steel water jug or container.

After picking up the water jug, Mr MG said “Here is your Mother’s Day Gift.” to which I replied, “Thank you. For Father’s Day, I shall boil some water and pour them out from this jug for you.” Its confirmed then. We’re an old married couple. I remembered us making this silly joke two to three years ago too when we bought a juicer coincidentally during Mother’s Day. He bought a juicer and I made juice, something like that. Yup, we really are an old married couple. We laugh at the same silly jokes and we have been reduced from juice to water. Lol!

Later on at the supermarket, he bought some ice cream for the kids which gave away some heart shaped boxes as part of their promotion. He had me collect those boxes, passed it to the kids and told them to give it to me since its Mother’s Day. And that was a sweet gesture, coming from him, Mr Unromantic. Hahaha.

I don’t mind not getting flowers, chocolates or a sumptious meal at some fancy restaurant because all I want is for the kids to be happy and healthy and to have a happy family. We have enough stresses from other sources so we need to be a haven to each other and not just another stress factor to one another, something we’re still working on all the time.

Somedays you’re the bug…… somedays you’re the windshield.

I guess that about sums it up about how most of us feel about our other halfs.

First there was a meme to name 10 good reasons why we married our spouses and now there is another one about 10 reasons why they annoy us.

Its really funny to read the 10 good reasons why they annoy us meme which is mostly written by women so far (dunno why) and most of them sound really similar.

Men! and Women! I guess most of us have issues with communication, driving, division of tasks, toilet use etc. It really is true that Men are from Venus and Women are from Mars.

We all have more or less the same issues. So how do we make sure that they’re the windshield more often than the bug? I think the answer lies with us. Change yourself first and you will watch your bug change into a windshield. So shall we all give it a try?

We should start by listing the 10 things that will make our spouses happy, work on them and then see what happens.

Perhaps I should have called this post “He wants to tapau all the time!” Lol! Because thats what he prefers to do, that man of mine. I have mentioned before that food wars is one of the top ten couple wars ie one of the top ten things couples fight about.

We’re no exception. My sis and her hubby quibbles constantly about what size to chop up the chicken. Me and hubby like to argue about trying new stuff or eating the same old food. Another thing which we can’t seem to agree on is whether to eat in or eat out?

Hubby prefers to tapau (takeaway) most of the time because he likes to eat in the comfort of his own home, on the floor, in front of the tv (bad example for the kids, dear) plus its expensive to eat out (which I totally agree with) whereas I like to eat out for the obvious reasons (can dress up, no need to cook, clean and wash the dishes).

I wonder what other couples fight about? Do you fight about food too? What do you fight about?