Archive for the 'Parenting' Category

I just can’t seem to stop buying books for the kids as well as for myself occassionally but more for the kids. Everytime I see a book, I think about how they would enjoy the stories inside or if its an activity book, the hours of fun they would have or if its a lesson book, how much they would learn and how I’d spend time teaching them from the book etc. Yup. I’m a self-confessed book buyaholic.

On Sunday, we went to Ikea because we wanted to get the kids their “road carpet” because their old one had worn out. We reached there at about 1pm. The car park was full and so we were directed to park at the side of the road. Oh my! It was a mad crowd. Looking at the crowd, you can’t help but think….”Errr….. but I thought we’re having a slowdown?” as you jostle among the crowd who sat on beds, tried chairs and stacked their trolley up with goodies. We couldn’t find the carpet and the crowd at the cafeteria was crazy so we ended up at Ikano Power Center and found the Popular Bookstore Book Fair.

Oh my! I ended home with a stack of books instead. lol. I was so pleased to find a stack of 5 lesson books for Primary 1 for only RM3. In it was English, Math, Chinese and Malay practise books. Miss Book Buyaholic decided to buy the Primary 2 one as well. It has 2 English Books, 2 Maths books and even a medium sized black and white Chinese picture dictionary in it. All for another RM3. Wow! 10 books for only RM6. Each book is between 50-80 pages so its not exactly thin thin cheapo type of books either. I guess each book would be worth about RM3. What a value buy! (Pictured above is my treasure trove of the 10 books). The info within those 10 books is definitely worth much more than RM6. Miss Book Buyaholic was estatic! Hahaha.

Help! My bookshelves are exploding! says Miss Book Buyaholic.

Yawwwwn! Aaaachooo! Yaawwwwnn……..

Getting up at 6am and getting the girl ready for school is hard work. Making sure I get some exercise after she goes off to sleep instead of going back to sleep is hard work. Then getting the boy up and ready for school is another round of hard work.

Yup! My holiday is definitely over. Its back to school and back to work for all the mummies and daddies out there. Back to waking up early and worrying about how our little ones are coping in school especially if they claim they don’t like school or they start wetting their trousers in school when they have never had this problem at home before. Something is not quite right so mummy has to do some investigative work.

On the last two days of school before the school holidays the little one told me that he wanted to bring extra trousers to school because he was afraid that he would wet his trousers. I was surprised because he never had this problem at home before. On the last day of school, he came home without his socks, underwear and in someone else’s trousers because he had wet his. Definitely something is amiss. I couldn’t get it out of him exactly. He said he’s not afraid to ask teacher. He said the toilet is dirty, far away, teacher didn’t hear him, teacher asked him to ask someone else and then it was too late etc. So, which is it? So today, I’ve got to go and see the teacher to investigate. As for the girl, last night she said “Mummy, I really don’t like to go to this school.”  and then she started worrying about school. Yup! The holiday is definitely over for me.

I wish for another week of holiday.

Managing the maid isn’t only about managing her work, it is also about managing relationships. Relationship with us and relationship with the kids. Managing the maid’s relationship with the kids is not an easy task. There is a fine line to draw in many areas. For example, we do not want the kids to start taking her for granted. We also do not want the kids to get too close to her and become manja with her etc. Like I said, its a fine line.

I have some house rules when it comes to managing the maid and the kids. I have told the maid…

• not to help them to wear their shoes unless we are in a hurry. She doesn’t help me to dress or feed them so the rest is not a problem. I want independant kids, not kids who rely on the maid to do everything for them.
• not to manja them. This is especially if I am scolding them and they she tries to comfort them. I will tell her to leave them alone. I explained to her that this is because I do not want to have kids that are “kurang ajar” (have no manners) in case she feels hurt or insulted when I tell her to “kakak, biar kan dia!” Kids will be kids and they will try to take comfort in anyone who is there for them. I certainly do not want a situation where the kids will run to the maid everytime I scold them. This is a no no for me. The maid also tends to like to carry the little one especially if he complains that he is tired. My little boy likes to make a big show that he is very very tired when he wants to be carried especially when he is bored from walking around the malls. I do not want a manja little kid who wants to be carried all the time so I always ask her to put him down when he behaves like that. My husband and I do not want to encourage his behaviour so we don’t always pick him up when he complains that he is tired so we do not want him to take advantage of the fact that the maid will pick him up. If we allow this, we will be telling him indirectly, that it is ok to go to kakak when we are stern with him. This creates un unhealthy situation where the kids will turn to the maid against the parents.
• not to take any instructions from the kids. I also told the kids not to give any instructions to the maid. Instructions must come from me only. If they want to request a ribena, for example, they must ask me first. I have told the maid to tell them ”tanya mummy dulu” or “mummy kata tak boleh” if they go to her. Even then, as she is pouring the drink, sometimes they will ask “kakak, saya mau lebih manis. Manis dan sejuk.” It is really a fine line.
• the kids must treat the maid with respect. Sometimes the small one, throws a black face at her if she is too busy to play with him. Or another example is, they may talk loudly to her or push her hand away if she tries to wear the seatbelt for them in the backseat and they refuse. My husband and I will not allow this. If any of the kids speak to the maid with disrespect, they will be reprimanded immediately.

However, I am guilty of a number of things. When we browsing at the bookshop or walking around the mall for example. me and hubby sometimes tend to leave the kids with the maid for short spurts of time so that we can look around. I really should be with the kids myself.

Another thing, sometimes when we are busy, we would allow the kids to play with the maid for a while. As a result the kids have become very close to the maid. We get a little uncomfortable if we see them too close. On the one hand, it is good that the maid likes the kids but on the other hand, well, who knows?  Its a fine line.

This maid really knows how to entertain kids as her main task with a previous employer was to look after the kids. She would teach them to sing, play hide and seek and other silly games with them. The kids like her a lot. I suppose this is a good thing but at the same time it worries me a bit too. Sometimes when I tell them “If kakak wants to take  you anywhere on your own WITHOUT mummy and daddy, you are NOT to go.” They don’t understand and they ask “Why?” How do you explain to a 5 and 7 year old that it is not a good idea to go anywhere with kakak on their own WITHOUT mummy and daddy’s permission when that kakak lives in your house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week throughout the year?

The maid does have the tendency to manja the kids a bit. So I have to always be on guard to see that she does not carry this out too far. She has also previously proudly proclaimed to me that her previous charges prefer her to their mother. According to her, she basically had to do everything for the kids previously. She bathed, dressed, fed them, walked them to school and back, made sure they do their homework and slept with them. I had to explain to her that perhaps she had to do things differently previously maybe because she has to listen to the kids a bit more since that makes them easier to control. But I want to have good mannered and well behaved kids so we will not manja them or they will turn out to be naughty and disrespectful.

So, hopefully, after giving her the reasons for my actions and explaining how I want my kids to be brought up, she will not take it personally when I say “Kakak, biarkan dia!” Because at the point when I say this, its usually in a loud voice because I am disciplining the kids at the time. I surely don’t want her to misunderstand and think that I am disciplining her! I must admit that I also feel a bit annoyed when I see her trying to go to the kid as I am disciplining them or trying to carry them or wear their shoes for them when they complain that they are tired.

I told her that kids will be kids and if you always rush to them to give in to their demands, soon they will learn that if they demand for something, even in an unreasonable manner, they will get what they want. Then the kids will end up being rude and demanding. I want to make it clear what I prefer and what I don’t but I have to explain the reasons why so she will understand. Phew! Managing relationships is almost as hard if not harder than managing housework.

Can you share with me how you manage your maid and the kids or if you don’t have a maid, how you think this should be managed? So that I can add to my list of rules in case I miss anything out.

My Girl just got her school timetable. It is something like this. They have 5 hours of lessons per day making it a total of 25 hours of lessons per week. During one week of school, she has…..

• 5 hours for Chinese language
• 4 1/2 hours of Malay Language
• 1 hour of English Language
• 2 hours of Maths in English
• 3 hours of Maths in Chinese
• I 1/2 hours of Science in English
• 1 1/2 hours of Science in Chinese
• 2 hours of moral
• 1 hour of computer
• 1 hour of gym
• 1 hour of Music
• 1 hour of Art
• 1/2 hour of revision/overview

My thoughts when I saw the time table.

• Wuah. Only 1 hour for English? No wonder they say the kids English will deteriorate when enter Chinese School.
• Hmmm…. 4 1/2 hours for Malay. Perhaps that is a government requirement but not bad also lah so that they won’t have difficulty catching up in Bahasa Malaysia in secondary school if you intend to send them to Kebangsaan school then
• Aisay…. what for want to teach Maths and Science in two languages. Thats just overloading the kids. Just teach it in one language lah, whatever language, I don’t really mind.
• Got Art, Gym, Computer, Music. My girl will enjoy those but I heard that those classes have to make way for more academic ones later on from Std 3 onwards. During orientation, one of the parents complained that she never got to wash her kid’s gym clothes because the kid never got to run around and be kids, there was just work, work and more work and lessons…. of the academic kind.
• Wuah! Sure got a lot of homework like that.

Can you share with me your kid’s timetable and what you think when you see this timetable?

Here’s another timetable from a blogger who sends her child to a private church based school. You might want to check it out to see the difference.

Timetable for Primary 1 Private “Kebangsaan” School

I guess you can’t really compare the two as it is like comparing apples with oranges. One is a government school while the other is government aided and private sector funded. As a result, the Chinese school facilities is much better than the Kebangsaan school one.

When shopping for schools, I visited  a few, both Chinese as well as Kebangsaan school because I couldn’t make up my mind on which school to send my kid to. We had to list down 3 choices when registering our children for schools and most people would either have all 3 as Chinese Schools or all 3 as Kebangsaan School. I had a mix. Hahaha. That was how undecided I was. However the school my girl was eventually sent to was not in my 3 choices. lol.

Anyway, I visited many schools but some of them were more “memorable” than the others. For example, the Kebangsaan school nearest to my house (which I considered simply because of its proximity and convenience) was very small. It’s canteen doubled up as a hall if I am not mistaken. The canteen was very small and I didn’t see a field. When the bell rang and recess time (its good to visit during school hours to observe the actual situation), the kids ran out and some sat on the floor to have their meal.

I spoke to a Chinese teacher there and she looked at me and said “Why aren’t you sending your child to a Chinese school?” Imagine that, even the teacher there did not believe in the school she taught. So sad. I asked her about the school facilities and she simply said “Just look around you. We are very small.”

Another Kebangsaan school a little further from my home was better. They had a dedicated headmaster (Its important to speak to the heads of school when you visit). The school was clean and had reasonable facilities, a music room, a computer room a nice canteen with colorful chairs and benches almost like in a fast food restaurant, open air badminton courts, a big school field, an open air school hall. There were murals everwhere done by the school children, the garden was nice, the toilets were clean and new. I almost sent my kid there and in case Chinese school don’t turn out, I guess we will try this school out.

However, the Chinese School Facilities wins hands down, especially the newer ones (or rather the ones that I visited. It may perhaps be unfair to make this an overall and simplistic comparison because I do not have statistics nor did I visit that many schools? I probably visited 2 Kebangsaan schools and 5 Chinese Schools while school hunting)  But of course  you have to be prepared to pay in the form of donation (afterall you want your kid to use these facilities don’t you) and you have to pay higher school fees to maintain these facilities.

Classrooms are airconditioned. Every classroom has a projector. There is a big school hall with indoor badminton courts, an auditorium like the size of a cinema, a small music room, a small dance room, a computer room ( my girl’s class has 42 students and she says each kid has access to one computer and there were balance after that), a library, a big field, a basketball court, a medium sized canteen. Why, its almost like a private school accept you don’t pay so much. But the culture and medium of instruction is different of course. Facilities not so different from a private school (accept for the absence of a pool in the better ones) but if you can’t accept the culture and the way things are done in a Chinese school then its not for you. Besides, all the best facilities are useless if you are not going to use them.

How are the facilities in your child’s school? Care to share? Not comparing notes here but just for information’s sake, it’ll be good for everyone to know whats available.

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We are ill prepared for Chinese School. With our indecisiveness, we had not prepared our girl to feel at ease in a Chinese School.

In her school, I would say around 70% of the children are from English speaking homes. However, most of the children can speak Mandarin. This is because the parents have prepared the kids well by sending the kids to at least 2-3 years of Chinese preschool. Meaning the kids attended a Chinese kindergarden where the main medium of instruction is Chinese. Even the little Indian boy in my girl’s class speaks Mandarin fluently by now at Standard One.

There are 2 special Std One classes in her school. In each of these classes, the number of students is lesser ie around 35 and 10% of them are muslims and non-chinese. This is to make sure that these students have a better chance of catching up, plus it makes it easier for them to attend Agama classes etc. I would have preferred my girl to be in one of these classes but…

Altogether there are 7 Std One Classes with about 40 students to a class with the exception of the 2 special classes I mentioned. I guess this is not too crowded a figure. Some Chinese schools have bigger numbers than these, more classes and with about 50 to a class I heard.

The environment in a Chinese school is really competitive. During orientation, we are handed a list of curriculum activities which the kids can attend after school (for a fee of course). After school activities (1.30-3.10/3.40pm) which start next week, are compulsory for kids from Standard 3 onwards. The younger ones have a choice. They can join Arts & Crafts, Badminton, Taekwando, Drama, Hanyu Pinyin classes, etc etc. Its a long list.  It makes it easier for the parents, I guess. Kids can stay back, have lunch, then join in a class, and you pick them up later. So you don’t have to ferry your kids from one place to another for activities.

It seems almost tempting to join some activities for various reasons….eg: for extra Chinese classes because I am afraid she is so lost, so that she can make more friends from school from doing shared activities because she says she has no friends, or simply because she likes some of those activities.

I have to remind myself to allow her to slowly settle in first and those other extras can wait although I am not sure whether they are allowed to join midterm. So I did not fill up any of those forms for extra activities. Parents have started to arrange tuition because, some of them, like me, found that they are ill prepared and the child is very lost. Some of them have even approached the class teacher to form a group for extra tuition for their kids. Its that competitive! Scary.

No matter how unkiausu you are, you’re going to be caught up and get lost in the whirlpool of competitiveness. First, you might have to send  your kid for extra Mandarin tuition to make sure she can follow the classes, then you may send him or her for some Arts and Drama classes etc to foster creativity to counter the rote learning methods so that they learn to think out of the box, then you may send them for English classes to make sure their standard of English do not drop etc. This is what I’ve heard. I haven’t experienced all this yet but I think I have one foot in now by trying to find ways to make sure my girl can follow whats going on in class because I cannot help her. And thats another sad thing because I so want to be able to help and guide her personally.

I realise that my mistake is not preparing my girl enough in conversational chinese. She may be able to read and write but she cannot speak or understand spoken Mandarin. She cannot make friends and she cannot understand what the teachers are saying and that makes her miserable. Even the Malay and English teachers give instructions in Mandarin so she is totally lost. We have asked her kindy teacher to come 2-3 times a week to help her out, sort of like giving her an intensive or crash course in spoken Mandarin for one or two months.

I have always maintained that I hate giving my kid extra tuition but only after the first week of school, I have resorted to this! Its madness. I am still full of reservations about sending my kid to Chinese school but lets wait and see. I will keep on updating our progress.

Although I have said that we did not prepare my girl enough by not sending her to a Chinese environment preschool, this is still something I do not want to do. I have sent my boy to a normal English speaking preschool. This is because I want them to be good in English first before Chinese. I want them to learn to think in English and want them to learn Chinese as a second language. I prefer it if they learn Chinese as a language rather than as the main medium of instruction but it would seem I have no choice. I feel that my girl’s English is quite ok for her age and so now she can start learning her Mandarin. If it were the other way, had I sent her to a Chinese medium preschool, then she would probably be poorer in English. You can’t have everything. The kids have to learn English, Chinese AND Malay. I feel that you have to choose which language you want your child to excel in or you’d be in a situation where they are the jack of trades and the master of none. They’d know every language but they would not be very good in any of them.

Shoppingmum, is this post cheong hei enough for you? I have more. Hahaha.

I found a good online dictionary to help me learn Chinese yesterday and now I’m torn.

I wanted to get a handheld Electronic Dictionary because it is convenient but is it all that good? Some people say you can’t find many words. Now if I invest in one, I will surely feel frustrated if I can’t find the word that I want!

At RM1,500 it is not a cheap investment. Hubby kept on asking me whether it will be worth it. Won’t a printed dictionary be just as good? I don’t have an answer for him.

At RM1,500 I can buy a lot of things. I can even replace this cranky PC with an original Dell by adding another one or two hundred. This PC won’t start up in the morning properly. I have to press restart before Windows will start up. Geeezzz!

Aiyooo how ar? Nevermind, while I go and think about it, I want to share the online dictionary that I found.

All banana parents who only know English but are sending their child to Chinese school should find this online dictionary useful. I don’t want to repeat what I have written on my other blog, so if you don’t mind, please hop over there to read……

Online Comprehensive Chinese-English Dictionary

No, this is not a backdated post. I know the UPSR results was just out recently but I am not writing a backdated post about the UPSR preparation. I am writing about preparation for UPSR in 2009.

My nephew will be sitting for his UPSR exam NEXT YEAR but preparation has begun NOW. This month, his school is giving a COMPULSORY 14 day intensive tuition to prepare the students who will be sitting for UPSR NEXT YEAR! Siao or not????!!!!

Give you 3 guesses which school he is attending. Chinese or Kebangsaan school? No prizes for the correct guess.

Yesterday, I got the girl’s piano class time mixed up. I was trying to get her into the shower when *ding dong* the teacher had arrived. So I hurriedly pulled her back out and headed for the door.

After piano class, it was too late to bathe the kids so I sent them off to nap. It was rather late by then so they didn’t nap, after all. Then it was dinner time.

After dinner, I was doing some things for hubby and by the time I was done it was almost 9pm. I decided to bathe the kids and get them straight into their pyjamas since they missed their afternoon naps. Then I gave them their milk. (BTW, my late mum would probably have given me a good and proper scolding for bathing the kids after 7pm).

The room was in a total disarray. The bed was still unmade because I didn’t have time to do it after the kids had their “nap”. Toys and cards were everywhere. So I said ….”Children (much like the way, Maria from The Sound of Music would), remember  you said you wanted to play the memory matching game? Well, its rather late now, so if you still want to have the time to play a bit before we sleep, you have to help mummy pack ok? Mummy is going to have a bath now and going to wash your bottles. By the time, I’m up, I want to see all of these toys gone and the pillows and blankets put nicely in the right place. Remember to pick up the cards too so that we have all the cards we need to play the memory game.”

Then I went to have a shower. By the time I came out, the toys had disappeared! The bed was made, the pillows were where they should be, the bedspread was nicely pulled out. The bed looked very inviting. I wish I could jump into it. Haha.

How to Stay Sane Rule #1: Be innovative! Instead of yelling at the kids to pick up the toys and then swearing under your breath while  you make the bed. Give the kids a reason to pack up themselves. It’ll be done faster than you can do it yourself. Haha.

So I sat down and played the memory match game with the kids for a while. Then I remembered that I had forgotten to get them to brush their teeth during their shower. Normally, I get them to brush their teeth BEFORE they change into their pyjamas because they almost always get half their top and bottoms wet when they brush. You might think that getting the kids to brush their teeth is such and easy task but really, it can be quite stressful and time consumming. Haha.

How to stay Sane Rule #2: When you realise that you’ve messed up. Give yourself a break. Don’t sweat it. And so I sent the kids off to bed with their milk stained teeth. Pssst. I don’t always do this. Sometimes when I forget to get them to brush BEFORE changing into pyjamas, I would roll up their sleeves, then stand holding a towel between them and the sink to make sure they don’t get their pyjamas wet. Really siao!

Well, so we’re done and in bed reading 10 stories which they had picked. 5 each! Fortunately they were rather short stories. When we were almost ready to turn off the lights, I heard a voice. It said….

“Hon, you long time never massage my feet for me already hoh?”

The kids were happy to hear that as it means they can stay awake longer. So we all jumped into the bed in the adjoining room to wait for daddy to get ready for bed. After the massage and the tv watched daddy instead of the other way around, I took the kids to bed.

Soon enough, I heard soft heavy breathing from the two of them and then I stared into the darkened ceiling wide awake! I was sleepy before but after making sure everyone goes to sleep I can’t sleep anymore!

How to stay Sane Rule #3: When you can’t sleep, don’t sweat it. Think about your next blog post. And that my friend was how this blog post came into fruition. Hahaha. No, I was just kidding. When you can’t sleep, don’t think about your blog, its bound to keep you awake even more! So don’t blog in your head if you want to sleep.

In another unrelated incident, we were shopping when the boy suddenly announced that he had to poo. He said “No” when we asked him “Can you wait?” (Bad parents. Hehe.) So I had to trudge 2 floors down the department store to find a toilet. When I finally did, I decided to take him to a squatting toilet as I was worried that the sitting ones would be dirty. Well, the toilets weren’t child friendly. I had to squat down in front of him to support him because with his little jeans, he could barely stretch to open his legs to reach the sides.

Finally, we found a workable position, so there I was squatting and supporting him and holding a pile of tissue papers which I had retrieved from my handbag with one hand while holding him. And there he was looking up at me, smiling broadly and singing the Christmas songs that was playing in the background! “Aiyah, baby, don’t sing lah. Concentrate” to which he smiled even more and said “Singlah, mummy, sing.” And so I smiled back at him and sang. This is as good a moment of bonding as any, I suppose. (His father and sister were waiting impatiently at another level of the department store and here he was taking his own sweet time but I suppose you can’t really rush your poo. Hahaha.)

How to stay sane Rule #4: When in an unusual situation, don’t sweat it. Hum Christmas hymms instead. lol. (And as a mother of young kids, you are bound to be caught in lots and lots of unusual situations, you can be sure of that!). So stay cool. (Psssst. I’m not always cool. Quite often I raise my voice and throw a tantrum. Hahaha. So I must remember this rule myself.)

Well, after squatting there singing Christmas hymms for a while, I stood him up and pulled up his jeans. “But mummy, I not yet ummm mmmm.” he protested. “Nevermind, we try again next door.” And we tried the sitting WC in the next cubicle because he wasn’t used to squatting. One more Chrismas song and we were done. Hahaha. Cursing under my breath and asking him to hurry up is not going to make the poo come out any sooner so might as well sing instead. lol!

How to stay Sane Rule #5: Ask your maid to do it. Well, thats what I’ve been told but sorry, this is NOT ONE OF MY STAYING SANE RULES.

For example, where was my maid when I was squatting down in the toilet with the kid? She was right outside the toilet door chatting with the toilet janitor who was also and Indonesian. I told her to wait for us outside. Some friends think I am “crazy”. “Why don’t you ask your maid to do it?” However, I strongly believe that all this moments in parenting, the good and the not so fun is what makes you bond with your child, so I prefer to do it on my own.

I remember my friends commented to me that “Wuah, now you got maid, you free already lah. When you eat outside you can eat without being disturbed as your maid can help you feed the kids.” However, whenever we eat out, I continue to stuff myself and the kids all at the same time like I used to do, while the maid enjoys her meal uninterrupted. When I told them that feeding the kids should be the mother’s job they think I am quite mad.

Well, taking care of young kids can really drive you mad. This is how I sometimes stay sane. (accept for Rule #5 which is my exception to the rules.) How do you stay sane?

“You should have your own life, your own pursuits, your own friends,  your own career. You shouldn’t stay cooped up in the house. Your life should not just revolve around your partner and your kids. You will make your kids guilty in adulthood about having to payback for all the sacrifices  you have made for them.”

Some of these statements are all too common and often heard but you know what? They don’t bother me nor do they strike a chord within me.

I am a SAHM. I do spend a lot of my time at home with my kids. My life pretty much revolves around them. Its November now, and I am planning what food to make for the girl’s year end class party, I am planning when I should take my boy to register for kindy class for next year, I am planning when I should go shopping for their back to school gear, I am planning to reserve kid friendly accomodation for Chinese New Year next year, I am planning to take them for a movie during the school holidays, I am planning what sort of activities and crafts I can do with them during the school holidays, etc etc. The list is endless. Its been that way since the time they were babies when I planned what menu to feed them with daily when they first started solids, when to take them to the paeditrician, what brand of diapers to buy etc.

During a typical day at home with them, I would bathe them, feed them, sit down with and help them with their homework, get them to nap, read to them, chat with them, play with them and teach them. I feel happy to be around for them as soon as they get home. I want my kids to come home as soon as classes are over, to hot nutritious food, to a listening ear to listen to what they have been up to all day in school, to get them changed, bathed and refreshed, to sit and do work with them, then to make sure they get some rest and a short nap, then wake up for dinner, to more hot food and some playtime, reading time etc. Thats what I want my kids to have.

I do not want my kids to be rushed from school to a tuition place still in their school uniform (I see this happening more and more now. I see kids in the evening, still in their daytime school uniform lugging their heavy schoolbags out from a tuition centre, waiting for their parents to pick them). I do not want my kids to eat food outside provided by some establishment or school, only to have me collect them after work. When school is over for my girl, I still see some of her friends who stay behind for lunch, a bath, a nap and some playtime at the kindy which she attends which also doubles up as a daycare centre. They only get to go home in the evening. Thats not what I want for my girl and I am fortunate that I have a choice to make the kind of growing up environment that I want for them happen.

Yes, my life does revolve around the kids, around their activities, their school life, their holidays etc. And yes, I talk about my kids all the time. Why I even have 2-3 blogs that I maintain fairly frequently to talk about them. I may be considered rather boring to some. Oh, I can have “inteligent conversations” if I want to but I like to talk about my kids especially to another fellow mother and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Yes, I am not working now but I did not make any big sacrifices with that (So kids you don’t have to feel guilty, you hear that?) Its not a sacrifice at all when you do something out of love. Its not a sacrifice when you do something because you want to. Its only a sacrifice if you do something because you are forced to or because you have no choice but its certainly not that way for me.

I see some SAHMs who feel “one kind” (I don’t know what word to use) when they meet up with their high flyer friends when their friends pass around their latest name card with high credentials, talk about their latest promotions or latest overseas trips. There is no need to feel low esteem nor is there a need to feel overly proud of your achievement of having “sacrificed” your work for your kids.

Pssst. A little gossip. I think my neighbour is one of those high flyers. She drives an expensive car which she always toots loudly for the maid to open the gate when she gets home, she wears heavy makeup and often looks at me disdainly. I have never seen her smile. Perhaps she looks down on a mere housewife but I couldn’t care two hoots. Ok. Ok. I’m just making presumptions here but really, I’ve never seen a more unfriendly person. Sorry, I digressed. I do not feel ashamed about being just a housewife. Thats all I was trying to say. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that high flyers are bad moms. Its just not me that is all. I don’t have the energy to be both and I salute those who can do it all but for me, I can’t give my kids the attention I want if I am distracted by other things.

I do not feel “cooped up” in my house all day. I am not “rotting” in my own house devoid of any adult company and conversation. Goodness gracious. Certainly not at all!  I find it a joy to be able to watch the kids play, to watch their silly antics and listen to the funny things they say not to mention to be able to witness their every first. First roll over, first crawl, first walk, first tooth, first word. Its the most amazing and the most wonderful thing. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.

If someone were to tell me “You should have your own life”, I’d tell them but this IS life. This is what life is all about. I am happy with my life. I am happy with my life that revolves around my kids. Is anything wrong with that?

I am a happy mom and I am not going to turn around one day when I am old and say “I regret giving up my job. I regret giving up some social engagements. I regret living in a world that revolved around the kids.” Nope. I hope to look back one day to having lived a full life that revolved around my kids that leaves me with a close bond with them for life.

The above animation was done for me by Maria or Twinsmom as she is more popularly known around the blog some time ago when I first started blogging. Its a reflection of my day that revolves around my kids.