I thought that being a remisier was the most exciting and boring job in the world. It was especially boring when the market was sideways, not when its down mind you, when its down, it was exciting too in a bad sort of way. But when it was sideways………….YAAAWWWN!

You can even hear a pin drop then. It was so quiet and if you look around you, you’d see bored faces clicking on the Solitaire card game on their PC like zombies. Me? I’d be doing my cross stitch. I didn’t have a blog then, otherwise, I’d blog like crazy. Hahaha.

But when it was exciting…… well, it was the exact opposite. It was like a livewire. Each of the remisiers’ 2 phones and a handphone (thats what we all had) would be ringing incessantly. You’d have to talk loudly above the din in order to hear and you have to talk fast to get things done even faster! Every news would move the market instantaneously and you better think and act fast or else…..you’d miss the boat or rather the price.

Sometimes we’d key in a price either 2 or 3 bids higher or lower in order to make sure our orders matched. Otherwise, you’d have to keep on keying in and withdrawing (you must withdraw because you don’t want to take the chance of doing double trades) to no avail missing all the prices but sometimes the client does not understand this. You have to be up to the minute with the latest news then or you’d miss it. Can you hear my heart beating hard as I write this? Well, it would thump very hard then. Haha.

And what about the people at the stockmarket? Well, there are all kinds of course. First, the remisiers. We had ex-army personnels, former teachers, retired bank managers, fresh graduates, former businessmen, people from HR, Accountancy etc. It was a very mixed group. Well, everyone wanted to be a remisier at one time… but not anymore… some say its a sunset industry.

And then there were the regular faces you see at the galery. There were grandparents who brought the grandchild that they were babysitting along and many faceless men starring at the screen.

And what about me? Well, at one time I was heavily pregnant and waddling around with my ugly blue checked dress that would probably look better as a table cloth (it was the only cool thing that fitted). Haha. And after delivery and confinement, I sort of became a SAHM by default cos’ I had no one else to look after my baby. I can’t remember now, but I think I took an extended “maternity leave” for almost a year. I did attempt to bring baby in a sling to the office once or twice when hubby was on leave and able to help me or I’d leave the baby home with him. And when she was bigger, I would go in the office about once a week by bringing my girl AND my father along so that I would have an extra pair of eyes and hands to look after her. I was very slack, cruising in late and staying half days on those days that I went in. I don’t think anyone would want me as a remisier. You can’t find me to execute your trades. Hahaha.

I probably would have carried on being a remisier if I was a big time remisier with assistants and my own room with more privacy but I was only a small fry and it was not easy to carry on bringing my girl to work in my small little corner.

I never felt like I truly belonged there and I would often have dreams about going to work and finding my desk gone and everyone in new places with new workstations accept me! Hahaha. Its funny how the subconcious mind works. 

And so thats how I ended up being a SAHM after the second baby came along. Though I never really enjoyed the job, I feel a bit “sayang” to give up my license though, because well, I had studied and worked for it.  I’m not a person who is good with numbers so I really had to work extra hard to memorise all those calculations of PEs etc. Hahaha. Pssssst. I’d also rather read brainless women’s magazines rather than update myself on the latest corporate maneuvers or read about the whos who in the corporate world and what they have been up to. However in those days, I had to read the Business Section of the papers first before anything else whereas I had always ignored that section before becoming a remisier. Now, I’m back to ignoring it again. Lol!

Its really been fun writing about my previous jobs. Next, I’ll probably write about my first job as a Company Secretary.  No, not a private secretary but a corporate secretary in an accounting firm. Another big yaaawwwwn. The only job I ever truly enjoyed was organising Conferences.

I don’t think I’ve written about any of this in my 3 years blogging. Why? I guess, I’ve always tried very hard to write non-personal posts that feel personal but they’re really not personal. ????

Writing about being a SAHM brought back memories of the days when I was working and the most stressful moments I had at work. (My most significant work was 7 years as a conference organiser and 7 years as a remisier.) Here are my unforgetable heart stopping moments.

1. I had organised a conference on “How to List Your Company Successfully on the KLSE.” We had a panel discussion with merchant bankers, financiers, legal personalities etc when suddenly in the last hour or minute rather, the Chairman of the panel called up and said “I’m sorry, I can’t make it. Can you take over as Chairman?” *faints*

2. There was another instance when I organised a Property Conference and we had a Minister to open it. Having a Minister to open the Conference requires special protocol and it was my first time dealing with it so I was nervous. I had to time it just right. The Minister would arrive in his car, then I had to walk up to him/her and pin a flower on his lapel/her baju kurung then signal my colleague to announce to the Conference Attendees to rise and welcome the Minister. Everything had to be in perfect timing. As usual, last minute, my boss rang up and said “I can’t make it. You have to take my place.” We quickly change the placards. Then I had to guide the Minister to sit on the stage with the rest of the panel and with me beside him. *faints* (After I learned the ropes, this protocol was no longer frightening to me but that was my first time. It was scary man.)

3. At the same Property Conference, the Minister’s office had arranged for the press to come in droves. I had never handled so many press people before. All of them crowded round with their cameras and TV lights demanding for a press kit which we had not prepared because we weren’t aware that so many of them would turn up with the Minister. Usually when we have a Conference, we would invite the press but this time the Minister had something to announce, so his office arranged for the press without informing us. *faints*

4. Once, I arranged a Conference for Public Relations professionals which included a few site visits to a printing workshop as well as to the Star Newspaper office. The Star Office was the last place we visited on the first day. Everyone was tired and wanted to go home. There were about 30-40 participants and the stupid bus that we hired turned up very very late to send us back to the hotel. I had to keep on apologising while sweating all the time because the participants were rather furious. *sweats*

5. Once, we invited a speaker with fantastic credentials online. We had never done work with him before. Everything was online. On the day of the Seminar, he turned up in the morning reeking with alcohol! That was probably my most embarrassing moment. *face turn red* (not from alcohol)

6. Once, the hotel I was working with messed up. As a safety measure, I always check the hotel a day before the event. Even then they forgot and placed us in a different room from what they promised and what was printed on our delegates tickets. Gosh! It was a tiring morning trying to look for all our lost sheep even with the signage informing them about the change. *sweats*

7. Another time, I went to the hotel in the evening to check that the printers had delivered our Conference Papers. To our shock and dismay, they had inserted the pages all wrong. We had to stay till 11pm to sort them out one by one. *tired*

8. Once, my boss was a bit late in paying the hotel and the stupid hotel threatened to lock the door and not allow our participants to enter until we paid! &*%$#! I think they should have practise more discretion in demanding for payment. *&^%$#*

9. We had another sister company which runs short certificate courses. On the graduation day, I was suddenly told (last minute as usual) to make speeches and present the certificates to a roomful of eager participants. Yikes! I hate public speaking. The usual I can muster up is the short introduction of my Conference Speakers but this one was a looooong one. *big sweat*

10. Last but not least is probably the time I sold stocks that my client did not possess and I didn’t know about it till the time for delivery and I was queried by the KLSE and had to submit a written report to them. *unhappy*

Writing this, it strikes me that its really strange that I spent equally 7 years on each job but I only have one item for the years I spent as a remisier. That must be because I didn’t really enjoy that job at all. Every moment was a stressful moment to me. Haha. Every time I want to key in an order I get big sweats trying to make sure I get it right. Afterall, everything is about $$$$ and a small mistake could mean big $$$$$. Aiyoyo. Scary.

I loved the other job though. I loved running around. We conducted Seminars and Conferences and In-house Training for large MNCs. After awhile, I knew the job and the Speakers at the back of my hand so I was confident in it. I ate a lot too! Haha. At every event, there was always two tea breaks and a huge buffet lunch. Lol!. I planned our Annual Training Calander and it was always full to maximise profits. Hehe. In each week there would be almost daily events. Sometimes, I had to be at two places at one time! Sometimes we travelled outstation together with the MNC staff for their in-house training usually on team building etc. I attended so many courses myself because as an organiser we could sit in and pick which ones we wanted to attend.

We did research and spoke to many people about their jobs from clerical to top management. We did all sorts of seminars for all sorts of industries. We visited Factories and Offices and almost all the newest hotels. We ran courses from Factory Management to CarPark and Building Management to PR professionals and for CEOs on how to handle the media etc. We did training work for small groups of 10 or large groups of 200. We travelled to attend courses and trade fairs to update ourselves. It was great fun!

Apart from the running around, I also enjoyed the “paperwork” of writing up the brochures simply because I love to write.

Miss CheongHei (Long Winded) has gotten carried away again. What I wanted to ask was…. What was YOUR most stressful moment at work? Care to share?

Why are you a SAHM, WAHM, FTWM etc? Is it what you want?

I am a SAHM because it is what I want. I love it that the only thing I need to think about before I go to sleep each night is what to cook the next day. Yes, I am that shallow! Hahaha. I don’t have to worry about the first thing in the morning meeting or flight, or worry that the bus that I hired won’t turn up on time for my 30 training participants, or practise that talk I have to make the next day or spend a sleepless night because the market is down 100 points again. Nosiree! Thinking about what to cook the next day is much much better. It gives me more focus when I am reading and chatting to my kids at bedtime. I am not distracted by my own work stresses.

I am happy to be around for my kids when they need me. It is a pleasure to greet them when they come home from school. It is a pleasure to feed, bathe and nap with them. It is good to be able to help them with their schoolwork etc.

Some people tell me, but you’re lucky that you can afford it. Thats not true. If I were working, we’d probably have a higher standard of living. However I don’t think about the bigger house we could be living in or the better cars that we could be driving or the many other things that we will be able to afford with more money because it is my choice and I am happy with my choice. 

I know many SAHMs who are unhappy because it is not what THEY wanted. Its what their spouse or family wants. There are also FTWMs who are unhappy because it is not what THEY want. Its because of circumstance.

On the other hand I also know people who are FTWM because its what THEY wanted. Its not because of the money, they tell me. “If I had to stay at home the whole day like you, I’d go mad!” they say. Well, in that case they had better stay FTWM but they should not complain about the stresses of being one then because its what THEY wanted. I know many FTWM who have very full schedules but still manage to have very close relationships with their kids and they don’t complain about how stressful it is juggling a job and a family because it is what THEY want.

What we want must also match what our spouse wants. I believe that at first my spouse would probably prefer it if I worked. Nevertheless, he says that he will support me in my choice and despite his earlier preference, I think he is now secretly happy that he has me at home taking care of the kids this closely. We don’t have to worry about one of us having to take time off work when the kids are sick or having to make alternative arrangements for transport etc because I am always available. He is happy that I have the time to look after the kids and can coach and teach them myself instead of sending them to some after school care centers that seem to have sprouted out everywhere due to the demand for it.

I just hope that for most of us, we are where we are because it is what we want instead of it being due to circumstances or being forced upon us. Because we can only become happy and better mums if we are happy individuals.

Tell me blogger mommies, are  you happy with where you are now? Is your spouse happy about it?

This is a tough one for me. I’ve attended many management courses on handling staff recruitment, managing people etc. Things like “Human Performance Engineering”, “Techniques of Managing People Effectively”, Reengineering The Performance Management Process”, blah blah blah but….. none of them prepares me for …….selecting …. a maid.

When selecting a maid, I’m given a list of biodatas, which are on a website, which the agent tells me are mainly reject maids or maids that others do not want for some reason or another, eg. too old, too young, only one year experience (you wonder what happened because their contract is supposed to be for 2 years). I wonder why the agent even bothers to show me those biodatas if she considers them not very useful. “But, you can still pick them, if you see any that you like?” she adds hopefully.

At the end of the day, she gives me just one or two printed ones to pick from. I look at the biodatas and they look no different from those pasted on the website. I am utterly confused.

Then I look at the information on the biodatas. First the face. “You must find someone whose face agrees with you” says the agent. “Afterall, you will be looking at that face everyday”, she says. Thats tough too. Hair too long? Out. Smiling too broadly? Out. Too skiny? Out. Too fat? Out. Too sour faced? Out. Picking someone who will be coming to stay in your house for the next too years based on just a photograph is very very tough!

Once, we’ve selected a face which we think we feel comfortable with, we have to look at the information. “Don’t bother to look at their ages.” The agent informed  us. “They usually lie about their age. Adding years or taking away years.” So when we see someone who states their age as 21, we minus a couple of years and derive that she is probably in her late teens still or those who state their age as 35, may actually be 40.

Right, now that we’ve got that sorted out, we look at the family background. Hmm.. should we pick a married one, a single one, one with many brothers and sisters or a few? I’m told that a single one may come here looking for a men whereas a married one may be miserable always thinking of home etc. Are the brothers and sisters very young or in their 20s too. Maybe the rest of her siblings are here too if their around working age. What about her position in the family. An elder one may be more responsible etc etc.

After that we look at her experience. The inexperienced ones do not even have any experience handling simple household appliances like a kettle or gas cooker. However the agent suggested that picking an inexperienced one may be preferable since they are “easier to control”.

The candidate is also supposed to state their work preferences out of 6 tasks. Things like general housekeeping, cooking, child care etc. I think I would like the maid to handle cooking as a top priority but the maid I selected has ranked this last or No. 6. “Nevermind” says the agent. “They all just  simply rank” she says.

I also look at their level of education. Some primary school education would be good wouldn’t it? I think to myself. And their weight. You may be surprised that a simple thing such as the weight of the person may actually turn out to be a rather important criteria. For example, my sister says that she always picks one that is above a certain weight after having a thin one try out her lingerie and taking photos in them. Too skiny? No stamina and may tire too easily? Too fat, may eat all the foot in your house? These are things that I’ve been told. I hadn’t realise that they are a criteria to worry about.

Sigh. By now, I am so tired. I am willing to just stab my index finger at any biodata and say “This one”. “Yah”, the agent agrees. “Picking a maid is like playing “tikam”. (A game of chance).

And so, that was how I tikam a 50kg, single, aged 22 (on paper), no experience girl who is the 3rd in a family of 8. She has 4 brothers and 3 sisters whose ages range from 8 to 23. I figured that she would hopefully be good with young kids because of this. And then I waited paitiently for 1 1/2 months to 2 months only to be told that she has failed the medical test after arriving in our shores. Sigh. I tikamed the wrong one.

So I tikam again. This time a single, age 22 (on paper) who is the eldest in a family of 3, and a Christian (whom my agent says are less prone to running away and can handle pork willingly), who has had 2 years recent experience. I wonder why the previous employer did not renew her service since she is returning but like I say, I just tikam lah! And then I sit and wait paitiently for another 2 months. My two months is almost up. Wish me luck.

I’ve got something to confess today. I’m a lazy housewife. I guess this is nothing new to those who read my blog regularly. Hahaha.

My husband says I’m even worse than a lazy maid (and we know all about lazy maids, don’t we?).  Thats because I usually take a lot of shortcuts, like sweeping under the carpet or overlooking dirt on top of the carpet. Sometimes, I just use a tissue to pick up dirt whenever I see it, just to avoid wasting energy on massive cleanups when things accumulate beyond my control. I hate it when that happens. It makes me feel so overwhelmed!

I really need a new smart cleaning equipment like the hand or stick vacumn from Dirt Devil with AccuCharge Technology. I really need something that helps me save time and money and I can do this with AccuCharge Technology because it charges 2x faster than a regular vacumn using 70% less electricity.

This advanced technology makes AccuCharge the first Cordless Vacumns to be Energy Star  approved.

Now, the next thing I have to do is to sweetalk dear hubby into getting me such a clever cleaning product. Well, diamonds may be a girl’s best friend but I would say that a vacumn that helps to save energy, time and money while helping to clean up the house comes a close second or third. Lol.

What makes an attractive person. To me an attractive person is one who is confident yet humble. That is a potent combination yet not easy to find.

Self image, self esteem, self assurance is the best gift we can give to our children. I hope I can teach my children to have a good image of themselves because I never had it. I’m still working on it.

I remember in college, I had a guy friend who had very poor self image. He was rich. He drove a car and the popular girls were drawn to him because of it ie they made use of him to get around. Yet he had no confidence. He started every sentence with “I’m sorry but……….” Years later I bumped into him. He had married and had two kids. He was working as a car salesperson. Yet, he still looked sorry and sad. I don’t know what made him like this.

If there was a scale of 1 to 10 for self assurance, I would rate this person at a 1 and myself at 6 maybe 7. I used to be around 4-5. I am continuing to work on it. I think blogging helps. It helps to repeat and say positive things to oneself. It also helps to have positive reinforcement and you get a lot of those in blogging. You get interaction and positive reinforcement.

However, there is always too much of a good thing. Too much positive reinforcement, too much of “You’re so good in this or that ……..” can make your head big. Then you start to write all sorts of nonsense thinking that you are so good and that you know so much etc etc etc and you start to impose your ideas on others. That makes you a boor and a snob and that is so unattractive. Modesty is still the best policy.

Like everything else in life, it is not easy to strike a balance but you must have balance in all that you do and you must have balance if you want to become a better person.

If you’re not fortunate enough to be living in a gated and guarded community, or  you don’t live in a condo, then you’ve probably heard of a security patrol team by your local Residents’ Association. These have mushroomed all over our urban residential areas or housing estates in recent years.

In the past, there was never a need for such things and I’ve never heard of them before but now, you can see security patrols  by guards hired by residence patroling the housing areas. A sure sign that crime is on the rise. Many homes now carry stickers that their house is subscribing to a certain security patrol, paying an extra RM30 to RM40 a month if I am not mistaken. My house is one of them.

However, I wonder how everyone feels about this. We feel that we want very much to improve the security in our area and that is why we dutifully pay the subscription fee for extra security surveillance. We feel that since it is a community kind of thing, it will only be successful, if everyone contributes or does their part by subscribing and so we subscribe faithfully even though, its hard for us to even pay up and after paying we don’t even have a receipt.

The excuse is that since the team is manned by volunteers and so… we’re not to have overly high expectations (like getting a receipt?). Oh well…. We do receive quarterly reports about the security in our area and we feel a (perhaps a wrong) sense of security seeing the guards patrolling our area in their motorbikes and cars and having an emergency number to call, just in case.

Yesterday, I met a friend who stays in a “crime zone” (which area isn’t that now). His neighbour’s houses had been broken in (both side and opposite). He does not subscribe to the security surveillance service that is available though. His feeling is. “What is the point anyway?” Besides, “you don’t even know if the security team is in cahorts with the burglars or thieves.” he added.

I wonder what does everyone else feel about such security patrols? Are you paying extra for it? How do you feel about this? Do you think it has reduced crime?

I keep on receiving scary emails about people being hijacked from their cars and houses being broken into. I know some of these emails may not be true but some of them come from people we actually know. I used to feel safer living in a condo but apparently even living in a condo is not safe anymore. The other day, I visited the old condo where I used to live. The maintenance person there told us that they are now stepping up security to have the guards going around floor by floor every hour because of crime. According to the guy some tenants do not like this but they have no choice. The burglars now come from within ie the modus operandi is to rent the premise for a few months, then strike when their neighbours are out.

Almost everyone I know has witness a crime or has had some personal experience. I feel so unsafe. The other day, I happened to be eating at the roadside with my handbag (I normally don’t carry my handbag when I eat at the roadside) and I was very distracted throughout my meal because I have to keep on clutching my handbag close to me and glancing around every few minutes. (I’ve had friends whose had their handphones or bags snatched while they were enjoying their meal, thats why I have this paranoia). Afterall, crime happens partly because of opportunity and we can reduce that opportunity by being more aware of our surroundings and it doesn’t hurt to be extra careful, right? Can you tell me what you have done to reduce the opportunity of crime to your person, car and home?

“He is four years old. Why isn’t he in kindy yet?”

I’ve gotten used to hearing this by now. I still hear it quite often when my 4 year old boy tags along to his sister’s kindy. I hear it from the teachers, the other parents as well as grandparents. They won’t leave us alone. Everytime I meet a new parent, they’d ask this question and look at us as though we’re weird. It annoys me to no end.

The kindy where my girl attends has 

• 1 six year old class, 
• 1  five year old class,
• 2 four year old classes,  
• 1 three year old class and
• the under threes are grouped together and considered the daycare class.

Some of them come to school with bolsters, pillows, pacifiers and are still in diapers. Some of them look like they’ve just learned to walk. Notice that the kindy has more classes for 4 year olds compared to the five and six  year olds. What does that tell you?

It tells me that the entry age for kindy has been brought down significantly. Why? I suppose its because we now live in a competitive world where both parents are working and we simply have no choice and if we don’t send our kids, they will not be learning anything at home and we’re worried they will be left behind. Yada yada yada.

I guess if one really does not have a choice, its ok if you send your child to a playschool to play. But no, the kids are now subjected to at least 3 years of kindy ie K1, K2 and K3. The learning environment is structured with many subjects like Math, English, Malay, Mandarin, Science, Moral, and there is homework and tests. (Previously there was only kindy, then there was K1 and K2, now we have K1, K2 and K3. What next? K4 I suppose.) I think its crazy.

My 4 year old is at home and they think I’m crazy. Some tell me “But you have the luxury of being home to teach him.” No, I don’t have the time to teach him all the time. Sometimes I just let him watch TV but I think thats perfectly fine for a 4 year old. So I’m probably crazy. More crazy then the parents who say “But I’m so worried my kid will not learn anything at his grandparent’s.” I understand those who do not want to leave the kid alone at home with the maid but not wanting to leave the kid in the comfort of home with loving grandparents? Hmmmm….

My girl didn’t attend any playschool, playgroup, Sunday school, nursery or whatever you call it. She stayed at home with me and went to kindy for the first time at 6 years old. And no, she did not turn out to be a social pariah. (As some predicted. Those are not my words.) No, she is not left behind. No she is not miserable in kindy. On the contrary, she is one of the above average students (according to her teacher), she has many friends and she participates in class by asking questions and she loves kindy. Right from the very first day. I didn’t have to deal with any tears.

But I was worried. I was so worried that she’d be left behind. I was worried that she’d not know how to socialise (she was a very shy kid to the extent of hiding under the table when my sis came to visit). She was very clingy too.

My boy is much more clingy than her. He is like a koala bear with super glue. But I shall not worry. I shall not worry the next time I hear “He is four years old. Why isn’t he in kindy yet?” along with the weird glances we receive. I shall be sending him next year at age 5. And thats it! Just leave us alone!

Last weekend we bought plants for our home. I’ve always felt that our home was incomplete without plants. The previous owner had tiled up the entire front porch and cemented the whole backyard. Not wanting to spend too much on renovations, we didn’t change a thing. So that meant that we did not even have a little patch of green. I’ve always imagined that a house should have a small patch of green grass so you can do some gardening.

We’ve moved in for almost 1 1/2 years now but still no greens. Finally we got some plants. Yeah! We didn’t get many but I tried to get as many varieties as I could in the few that we got. So we got little ones, medium ones, leavy ones and flowery ones, green leafed ones and red leafed ones, big leafed ones and small leafed ones. So many varieties in so few plants. Haha. Like Rojak like that.

Still I am pleased with my new mini garden. We bought the kids watering cans so they are naturally pleased too. Hopefully the plants will stay lush and beautiful as it is now and not yellowed and wilted a month later.

I love food. I love trying out new foods. I think how we view food is in a way related to our upbringing a little.

I think my love affair with food began from young. Mum died early so it was just Dad and us. Dad showed his love to me with food. He was a policeman. When he came back home from late night duty, he would bring home special foods for supper for me. I would wait for him to come home eagerly. Sometimes he took me out to places to try new foods.

Later on, as a single working adult, I continued going out to try new foods with my friends. I continued to eat out often with Dad too.

Hubby on the other hand is not adventurous with food. As a single working adult he would often takeaway fast foods and eat those. He would have TV dinners ie eat his takeaway food in front of the TV. (Thats my own definition for TV dinners). When he finds a type of food he likes, he would eat it often, like every other day.  According to him, he has no time to think about food so he just eats what he likes often. This makes it easy for me. Since he has such an easy to please palate, all I need to do is cook his favourite food everyday. Haha.

Earlier on in our relationship, we had a lot of food related arguments because of the way we are so different in our love for food. However, now we have sort of gravitated towards each other in a good food way. He has come to be a little bit more adventurous now and I don’t mind having repeat TV dinners.

What about you? Do you eat to live or do you live to eat?