My maid used to look after the two young kids of her previous employer. I get the impression from her that her main job was looking after the kids and doing some light housework. She wakes and gets the kids ready for school each day. This includes fixing and feeding them breakfast, tying the little girl’s hair and walking them to school. When they get back from school. She makes sure they eat their lunch, have their bath and then takes them to the mother’s shop or back to school again if there are extra activities in school.

She tells me with tears in her eyes that the kids were sad to see her go. I can tell that she has a fondness for the little girl whom she described as rather naughty. I do not think that she has any idea that she has contributed a little bit to this naughtiness.

Why do I say this? Well, I would say that most maids are not given the authority to scold or discipline the kids but they are sometimes given the job of looking after the kids. To me, you cannot look after kids without disciplining as well. This creates a disharmony.

Anyway, yesterday we made some pancakes for the kids for tea because they liked it so much previously. The little one was grumbling about not having enough. He had finished his and his sister had just started eating at the time. The maid was amused by the fact that he liked the pancake so much and she kept on laughing and commenting on the fact. This made the little one even more concious about the fact that he wanted more and there was none. This made the maid laugh even more. Finally, the little one couldn’t stand it any more. He ran out of the kitchen crying very loudly and stomping his foot.

If he acts up like this, I would usually just ignore him till he has calmed down. However, the maid rushed to pick him up and got his sister to give him a piece of her pancake. When she tried to ask his sister to give him another piece of pancake just so he could hold another piece in both his hands to pacify him, I stopped her.

Later on I took her aside and told her to ignore him if he misbehaves or throws a tantrum in future. I explained to her that kids learn from how we behave towards them. I told her that if he screams and you run and give him what he wants, he will learn that he can get what he wants by screaming. So leave him alone even if he looks very pitiful because kids will cry sadly one moment and be laughing again the next. I told her that I know she ran to him because she feels sorry for him and wanted to make him happy again but that is not the way to do it. This way, we will encourage a child to be naughty and greedy.

She told me that that is how she used to give in to everything to the little girl that was under her care because she didn’t know how to handle her. She told me that the little girl was very demanding and would ask for orange juice etc sometimes at 12 or 1 am. It was very tiring. Giving in to everything was easier. She also told me that to make sure that the girl did not keep on asking her for food, she would stuff her with food till she was so full that she wouldn’t ask anymore! That is also another easier way of handling kids.

I also had to explain to the kids that what the boy did was wrong. If he wants more pancake, he should ask nicely and because there wasn’t anymore, I will make sure that I make more for him the next time round. I also told them that what kakak did was wrong too. She felt sorry for him and wanted to make him happy again but I reminded them that no one should be rewarded for bad behaviour. And no one should have their food taken away from them to give to the one with the bad behaviour. They both agreed on that.

And so it turned out alright. I took the opportunity to speak to the maid as well as to the children to set the rules for everyone. I had to be careful when speaking with the maid because I don’t think she meant it in a bad way so I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. At the same time I must make sure that she knows what to do and what not to do in future when in comes to the kids.

I had set up rules and shown her exactly what to do in terms of housework but I had forgotten to set rules and show her what to do in terms of the kids. I didn’t think it was necessary because I always take care of the children myself, bathe, feed, etc. She sometimes plays with the kids when we are busy, that is all. She acted in the way she knew how and according to her natural instinct. Since she had always cared for other children in that manner in the past two years, she naturally did it in the way she used to do. However, the dynamics in my home are not the same and so I had some explaining to do.

Well, so thats that. A lesson learned by everyone including me. So what about you. Do you set rules with your maid about how she should handle your children?

Over the weekend, my sisters and I attended a health talk about nutrition for people with Alzheimer’s. Since the speaker was talking about the brain, one of the participants went up to him with a question about epilepsy or how to handle someone in a seizure because she had seen her neighbour having one.

Sad to say, many people still have misconceptions about it or do not know much about epilepsy. She was talking rather excitedly.

“Its Gila Babi.” ; “We put a spoon in his mouth.” ; “He’s an electrician, I think it must have affected his brains.”

I wanted to tell her what to do and what not to do when you see someone in a seizure but although she was asking that very question “What to do when you see someone in a seizure.” I felt that her mind was closed to the replies.  She was talking agigatedly rather than listening.

I guess that this misconception about epilepsy compared to other disorders is because of the nature of it. A seizure is very frightening to watch. The person loses conciousness and loses bodily functions and controls, eyes may be jerked upwards, face may turn blue, person may lose bladder control, hands and legs jerking uncontrollably, teeth biting down very very hard on the tongue, frothing around the mouth. Horrible isn’t it? Perhaps that is why people who don’t know much about it call it gila babi! Literally translated that means mad pig. Or they might think that the person has gone into a trance or is possessed by some devil. For it may appear that way.

When I was young, I was told by classmates and teachers (yes, teachers too, teachers who tried to pry a spoon into a poor epileptic girl’s mouth each time she had a fit. I think the teachers shouldn’t have been this disinformed. If you have a child who has epilepsy you should make sure his/her teachers know what to do and what not to do), I was told that if you get bitten by a mad dog thats what will happen to you because when you have a seizure you sometimes foam at the mouth. Have you ever heard that one before? Of course the one about being possessed by spirits is a common one too leading to many drinking “fu” drinks instead of getting the proper medication for it.

So am I a mad pig? Well, I may be a bit mad at times and I am a pig when I see food but I don’t have gila babi. I have epilepsy. It was diagnosed when I was 41 (yeah yeah, I’m that old). I have only had about 5 seizures in all. 3 of them occured on the same day. I am taking medications and my seizures are under control. Besides medication, I try to eat well, sleep well, exercise and not get stressed up over little things. The stress part is harder to control because I have poor emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is a very nice word for someone who likes to scream and shout over small small things.

So tell me, what do you know about epilepsy? Have you ever witnessed anyone having a seizure? How did you feel? Helpless, scared or afraid? If you don’t know much,  you can read my previous post Epilepsy as explained by MG or this one What is Epilepsy from eHealthMD or this interesting one Many “believe myths” on Epilepsy. By knowing what to do to help someone in a seizure, you may be helping someone tremendously so do read up if you have the time.

We are having a rainy season again with rain mostly in the late afternoon and evenings. This is a good time for thieves. Because the heavy rain muffles out sounds and people are more likely to be in their houses instead of outside.

A friend told me that his opposite neighbour had a break-in case during a heavy rain. The thieves came and took away his tv and other big and heavy electronic equipment while he was out during the rain and none of the neighbours were any the wiser because they didn’t hear due to the heavy rain and they were all inside their homes so no one knew.

Well, thieves struck like lighting in the rain in my area during the weekend. They came and took the iron and steel drain covers outside the houses during the rain leaving big wide gaping holes in front of our houses and lots of inconvenience to home owners. (The gaps are dangerous to young children and vehicles not to mention the inconvenience and expense of getting it fixed).  About 10 houses in my row were hit and another 16 houses in another street. They did this at around 5pm in broad daylight. Imagine how bold and brazen they are to just walk up to the fronts of houses and take something that does not belong to them.

My drain cover had been stolen before and I fixed those that had screws on so mine was not stolen. But my left and right neigbours and their neighbours and neighbours all had theirs stolen. They took those that had no screws because time is off the essence. I think they were off before you can say lightning. No one saw them. Not even the guards who were supposed to be doing their rounds because during the heavy rain, they would  most likely have been trying to find shelter instead of going ronda ronda.

Sigh. I just hate it. How the crime rate has risen in recent years. Now, I don’t feel safe anymore, not even in my home which is supposed to be a safe haven. Not everyone can afford to live in gated and guarded communities but even if you were, don’t be too happy. There are inside jobs too. One condominium manager told me that they had to have guards making rounds every hour on every floor even though the tenants disliked it but they had no choice since the thefts come from inside jobs ie from people who rent out the units for several months to do their dirty job. It is hard for them to control that because the so called “tenants” dress smartly and look just like any other tenant, not thieves.

Thefts, snatch thefts etc are so common these days that I am sure you have probably witnessed one or has had someone close to you experienced it before. Care to share? We have no choice but to be more aware and alert of our surroundings from the moment we step out of our houses.

Tadadum. Friend pops out on MSN. Chat chat chat chat.

Ring ring. 2nd sis calls up. Chat chat chat chat. Still chatting on MSN.

Ring Ring. Big sis calls up. Chat chat chat chat. Still chatting on MSN.

Ding. Blogger kawan pops up on Gmail informing about opportunity. Sob sob. No time to do. Still chatting on MSN.

Tada. Receives email from blogger kawan asking for advise on opportunity. Writes reply. Still chatting on MSN.

Light Bulb. Search online for good e-cards to send to good buddy. Still chatting on MSN.

Ring. Ring. Big sis calls up again. Chat chat chat chat. Still chatting on MSN.

Link. Link. Friend on MSN sends some links over to read. Read read read read.

Light bulb. Writes email to hubby informing him about plans made with sisters. Still chatting on MSN.

Light bulb. Sends e-card to friend. Muaks dearie.

Light bulb. Decides to write this post.

Grumble. Grumble. “Mommy, not yet even start the day. Not yet even start the day.” Kids looking for me because every morning since the start of the school holidays, I spend time with them teaching and playing with them but this morning, I got distracted BIG TIME! Hehe. I’ve exhausted all avenues of communication. MSN, Gmail, Email, Phone, Internet, In person. Phew!

Aiyoyo. OMG. Half the morning is gone! Better run. Bye bye friend. Bye bye sisters, bye bye blog. Still got to teach and play with the kids and cook. Luckily now got maid. Hehe. And in reply to Sasha. Yah, Yah, I eksyen now, can anot?

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO FIREHORSE KOPI SOH

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU…….!

Am I forgiven? *flutters eyelashes* Sorry I forgot dear.

Pssst sorry hor, I don’t have cyber flowers or cakes for you. Will a mooncake do? Mooncake festival is coming. I will post pic for you before I eat.

I’m happy that I was able to make pancakes and french toast for the kids for tea the past two days. Its a small thing to be happy about but I’m still happy. Usually the kids just eat biscuits and bread cos’ I’m lazy. Haha. Well, actually, I don’t cook using open fire when I’m alone so it does help that I have someone around, not just for cleaning up.

The kids enjoyed the pancakes and the french toast which they helped to make. My girl would have cooking class in school which she enjoys. Oh no, the kids at kindy don’t really cook but they help to count the number of spoons of sugar etc that is required in the ingredients when they watch their teachers cook. Its a great way to learn.

Every week she would bring back agar-agar (jellies), sandwiches, sweet potato balls, and other local treats that they made in school. She really enjoys these ”cooking” lessons so I try to let them help out in the kitchen whenever I can as it is a good way for them to learn.

I wish I could bake or at least have an oven to try baking. Can anyone recommend a good little oven? :) 

We celebrated our maid’s birthday recently by buying her a cake and singing a birthday song for her. No gift since she’s just with us for slightly over a month. Perhaps next year if she’s still with us, hopefully.

Life with a maid is certainly better despite its slight downside of loss of privacy, extra expense (not just in her salaries but we are now feeding an extra mouth and taking care of an extra person. Our groceries bills has shot up) etc.

On the upside, we now have a cleaner house and daily home cooked meals (I cook, she cleans up) and I have more time for the kids and the spouse.

Its the school holidays now and we have lots of activities planned. Learning Chinese together, reading online together, doing arts and crafts, practising school concert speeches, doing scrap book projects. Our entire day is filled with these. In addition I have to cook (but I don’t need to clean up now. Hooray!). I need to do my exercises and of course theres the man to take care of when he gets home from work.

Previously I would have done all those too but the house would have suffered and our food as well. Now, I can do all of those and still get good food and a clean house. Its been good so far. Lets hope it stays this way.

Recently my piano teacher informed me that she may ask me and my daughter to play something during their school concert.

“OMG! Pengsan. Pengsan.” I told her. ”No, not pengsan at all” she replied. After she told me that, I was so nervous, I played lousily during my lesson just thinking about it. Hahaha.

I had always dreamed of playing the piano and finally had a chance to learn a little over a year ago. My daughter has been learning for about a month.

 I think this will be good exposure for my girl. And so, though I’m shivering right to my very bones, especially the finger bones, I shall do it if given the chance. All for the sake of my girl. Oh, the things we parents do for our little ones.

I shall have to practise and practise and annoy the neighbours and practise and practise some more till I can play with my eyes closed, otherwise, I shall be so nervous, my fingers will freeze and tangle up!

The only other time I’ve “performed” a musical instrument was playing the organ in a shopping mall when I was young. Oh yes, and there was this other time when I had to sing in front of some judges during a test at the end of my Singing Classes. Boy oh boy, how my voice shivered and shook made worse by the fact that my teacher had asked me to sing “On my Own” from “Les Miserables.” (Video below as sung by Lea Salonga so beautiful). I have always been in a school choir and I enjoy singing in a choir but singing alone is a different ball game altogether. Playing the piano with my girl playing the accompaniment is just as scary but I shall have to put up a brave front for my girl. Ooooh shiver shiver.

The Olympic Fever begins today on the 8th Day of the 8th Month of the year at 8:08:08pm. You know Chinese lah. Everything also must be auspicious.

I read from my kids McDonald’s newsletter that there are five mascots. They are…

1. A Fish named Bei Bei
2. A Panda named Jing Jing
3. The Olympic Flame Doll called Huan Huan
4. A Tibetan Antelope named Ying Ying
5. A Swallow named Ni Ni

Put them all together and they form the words “Bei Jing Huan Ying Ni” (Meaning Beijing Welcomes You). See? I know a little bit of Chinese. I’m not such a banana afterall.

Anyway, I am rather excited to see the opening ceremony tonight. I think the Olympic Games is a good opportunity to expose or teach the kids about the different countries of the world as well as the various types of sports. Unfortunately, I don’t have Astro, so I can only watch a delayed live transmission by RTM 1. What to do? Miser don’t want to pay. Have to watch delayed loh. Hopefully the transmission will be clear and we won’t miss anything.

For those who are interested to know more about the Olympic Mascots, you can check out this : Beijing 2008 Olympics: What are the meanings of the five mascots? Or you can simply enjoy the following YouTube video on The Mascots of the Olympic Games. The background music you hear in the video is a Chinese Folk song called “Mo Li Hua” or “Jasmine Flower”. My girl sings it in kindy. Very nice.

Ever since the maid arrived, I’ve lost 3 pounds. No, no, not from worries.

The reason is because we eat out less. When eating out, I just can’t help pigging out. Somehow food always tastes nicer when you’re not the one cooking it. Food presentation also matters to me. Food thats nicely presented like in a restaurant, appeals more to me causing me to wallop up the food. Yum! Gulp! *guilty afterwards*

However since the maid arrived, we’ve started eating out less. Its more economical and healthier that way. Thats one of the reasons we have a maid anyway. So we can eat more healthy home cooked food.

At home, I cook and the maid cleans up. Like I said, food always tastes better when someone else cooks it. Thats one step towards my diet plan. Second, when I do the cooking, I usually choose to cook my family and my favourite foods. In addition, I’ll cook up a big wok of vegetables so that I can do my Double It Half It Diet.

Thats my own diet regime by the way. What I do is I Double the servings of vegetables and Half the serving of rice. It works everytime. Thats how I lost 20 pounds last time but then I stagnated after a while. Also, I’m trying to make sure that the maid gets enough food so I put more food on her plate than mine. lol!

I’m happy that I have managed to lose 3 pounds so far. Thanks to homecooking! And thanks to my very own Double It Half It Diet plan. Yeah! (Perhaps I should patent this diet plan!)