Theres this telephone in the house which is placed on a table near the window. I remember how we argued and fought about where to place the phone. We both got so stressed up fighting about where to place the phone and how to drag the phone lines etc. Its so funny to think about it now. Hubby won the fight but thats not important now. Whats important was the angry words we hurled at each other then. The angry words which stays in the mind and hurts the relationship.
The phone and where it sits now looks so insignificant you would wonder why anyone would fight over something so small. But thats how its like in a marriage or any other relationship, not only with your spouse but with your children.
You read in self help books that you should always ask yourself this question when you have a fight: Is this really important a few years from now? How very true this is.
I can remember all those times
we I shouted and how we got mad at each other and all those hurtful things we said. It doesn’t matter who said what. The important thing is it was said and they were hurtful and you remember them for years and years afterwards but you know what? Sometimes you can’t even remember the quarrel itself or what led you to say them? Thats the funny thing. Most thingsÂ couples quarrel about are reallly insignificant andÂ so small and really not important a few years later or even a few months later. Its so small you can’t even remember them. I can’t remember most of our arguments but I remember the things we said to each other.
So the next time you want to argue with your significant other, think about how significant the argument is? It may be so small and insignificant that it really doesn’t warrant a use of hurtful words that hurt the relationship. So just shut up, cool down, and by the next day, you may have cooled down enough to discuss the issue without resorting to shouting.
These are things I’m trying to practise but am very bad at…
- There is no need to finish an argument on the same day. Discuss the issue another day when both of you have cooled down
- Don’t go to bed angry at your spouse (this one I’m ok at. Hehe)
- Don’t shout or lose your temper. Ask yourself: Is this really important a few years from now? If it isn’t,Â leave it alone.
A happy marriage requires good communication, something I’m not very good at so I have to work even harder on it.
Whats happening to me? I’ve written 3 philosophical posts in all my 3 blogs in a morning. Hahaha! Here are the others:
Must have been the fit! Lol! It has reminded me that life is short and you must treasure the people around you. Not only that. You must tell them and show them that they are important to you. Knowing it yourself is not good enough. Show and tell is important too!