If you have nothing nice to say don’t leave a comment

“If you have nothing nice to say don’t leave a comment”  This should be the silent rule of blogging but it is not. One of the bad things about having a blog is the fact that you open yourself up to uncalled for criticisms. You don’t get that in a personal diary but you get that on an online personal diary.

In my 3 years of blogging I have never received a negative comment probably because I am usually careful about what I write. I have also never left any negative comments on anyone’s blog because I believe that if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say it. 

Yesterday an anon called me selfish.

Here is what she said in response to this old post of mine.

“ I think your comment about not asking grandparents to help out is rather selfish. My mum lost my dad three years ago and all she lives for now is the grandchildren. She loves being with them, especially when it’s just her and them, and if I didn’t ask her to help out from time to time her life would be pointless. I know lots of grandparents who live far from their kids and it tears them apart. It’s good for the kids too to know their grandparents really well before it’s too late. “

I think that it is an uncalled for comment and the anon obviously did not understand my post. I did not say that children should not interact with their grandparents.

Oh well, I guess that as a public blogger, you will always be open to these kinds of remarks when someone reads your online journal. A blog is afterall a personal diary and as in any personal diary, you will put in your own views which may sound self righteous to others who do not know you or follow your blog.

Those who follow my blog will know that I do not like the idea of leaving kids to be cared for by maids and elderly parents. By this I mean to allow maids or elderly parents to take over most aspects of child caring like feeding, washing backside or changing dirty diapers, wiping vomit, bathing, toilet training, and dealing with whining, pleadings, tears, endless questions, temper tantrums etc etc ie the hard part. To me, the hard part of child caring should be over for our elderly parents. They have done their part and now their part as grandparents is to play with and interact with our children ie in doing the fun part of child caring and dote on the grandchildren and NOT look after them fulltime.

Those who follow my blog will also know that I understand that sometimes personal situations may not permit any other arrangements. But then here comes an anon who does not follow my blog, who reads only one blog post and then calls me selfish based on my personal view which she obviously did not understand. I am irked. Yes I am. I guess this is the part of blogging which is not so fun.


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17 thoughts on “If you have nothing nice to say don’t leave a comment

  1. I took off my comments section completely. While I do value the interaction with readers, but I just got tired of having to explain myself….

    Haha. That explains why one day I wanted to leave a comment and I couldn’t find the Post a Comment button.

  2. Wah! To be honest, I understand ur position. I also wudn’t want my in-laws/parents to jaga anak full time. It’s really hard work! Plus, if they were to suddenly suffer a heartattack/stroke….then how? The children wud be completely by themselves.

    I wonder what Sesame writes that is so controversial….*goes to check it out* 😉

    Oh dearie me, oops! Same goes for me yunno, if I suddenly have an epileptic seizure than my children will be by themselves. Not a very nice thought. Better banish it from my head. Hehe.

  3. haha! i can definitely feel ur irked feeling through reading this post! haha…

    anyway on the parenting part i always agree with u that we should leave the hardcore parenting portion to ourselves & let the greandparents enjoy the joyful & playful moments with the kids, that’s should be the way…

    After writing this post, I lepas geram adi. Thats the beauty of blogging. My faith in blogging is back! Hahaha.

  4. i always believe that our parents’ jaga anak years are already ‘past tensed’… leave the jaga anan hard work to me.

    Afterall they jaga you until now adi and am still looking out for you I am sure. 🙂

  5. oops… typo salah pulak.. i mean jaga anak. not jaga anan.. hehehe ;p

    Hehe. Ideally, our parents job is to see the kids once in a while and “spoil” them with love and affection but sometimes we don’t leave in an ideal world.

  6. i think jaga from parents or in laws will be only when we really hv to be somwhere when we cant tag the kids along like travelling.
    If my parents or in laws were to jaga my kids, i will get them a maid mainly to help out with housework, and the elders will get to enjoy spending time with their grandchildren and getting to know them. but sometimes, some ppl just cant afford babysitters or maid, so they leave it to the elders.
    that someone got ur message wrongly.. hey, that is nothing compared to some idiot who commented that my blog is reallly ugly .ok…

    Hahaha. Blog ugly??!! Like that oso want to comment ah. *rolls eyes*

  7. prob u can set to moderate comment and only approve those comments u think are ok?

    I am lazy to moderate comments. Anyway its not hard to delete unwanted comments if I really wanted to. Hehe.

  8. Eh, I like my parents and in-laws to jaga my anak weh! LOL! But then again, money comes into factor. Of course, we can save a bit if our parents/inlaws jaga our anak but I know it is hard work too. They have their own lives. My case is more simple, my parents/inlwas WANT to jaga my anak..hehe.

    So, I really salute the role you are taking as a SAHM. Not many ppl can do that. Ok, now you can delete my comment. *grin*

    No, don’t salute. Its what I want to do so its not a big sacrifice at all. Some ppl say what a big sacrifice it is for you to become a SAHM. Sacrifice? What sacrifice if its what you want to do. It only becomes a sacrifice if its not what you want to do in the first place. If thats the case then carry on working would be better. The children will benefit from a happier mummy.

  9. That was very inconsiderate of her to judge you by just one post…
    Anyway, I truly believe that every parents have their ‘own perfect’ plan for their kids. Others might not see that as an ideal plan for them, but hey, everyone is different and as rude as it may sound, Mind Your Own Business and never expect others to follow what you are doing because you think it’s the best…
    I really think that you have done a good job by sacrificng your job to be a SAHM.Like what Vien said, not many ppl can do that… 🙂

    My sentiments exactly. I’ve always said that with parenting…”Anything goes” and “To each his own” because what works for you and your family is the best. So forget all the parenting guru books. They are merely guides. There is no need to worship them. Hehe. Regarding the “sacrifice” part, please view my reply to Vien’s comment.

  10. Each to their own. They can give their opinion but never ridicule your writing as this is your blog and you are speaking the way you think. We are all entitled to our own opinion.

    I don’t need to meet you to know you are not a selfish person by nature. Don’t let one comment affect you.

    Eh, I put up my blog recipes, then I get comments like, “You sure right ingredients, why my cake sank?” Email some more (tau tia), so I close it down. 😛

    Hahaha. You ask me not to let the one comment affect me but you close down your blog because ppl’s cake sank. You ar…

  11. I dun understand why these people care so much to leave a negative comment but dun want to leave their name!!
    I hope that one negative comment will not affect you.
    I totally agree with you on this pt. As much as I want my girl to spend more time with her grandparents, I will never ask them to give up their lifestyle for us. In fact, my father himself said that he has done his duties by us & now he wants to enjoy his life!!haha….

    Usually those who leave negative comment dun dare to leave their name as you say. I think they sked. Hahaha.

  12. My father once said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’ Come to think of it, that’s the only thing he ever said to me ….

    Lol! ……………………………

  13. Sigh why ppl lidat wan…….i hope it won’t spoil your weekend since it looked like it spoilt your week oredi. If u need to vent hop over and just holler ol’ fren. Sori i am a lil late coming over but i am here now, mai kek sim liao ok, lyk u say when we blog dis is wat sometimes happen, that anon person is not worth any more grief on, ok? Hugs.

    No, it didn’t spoil my week my dear, I was just busy eating maruku. You forgot adi. Its deepavali holidays and I dun blog on holidays. 🙂

  14. Just ignore those anoynomous coment. Don’t let it spoil your mood. 😛

    Yeah. Best to ignore them. I should have just deleted that comment instead of replying to it hor.

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