Today I have no direction. My mind is not focussed so my blogging is the same. I shall write in random what is in my mind..
- I just finished playing barber for the two kids. I think girl’s hair is much easier than boy’s to style. In addition, my girl who is older will sit still for me to trim whereas my boy makes it sound like I’m torturing him. “Don’t want already. One more only. Painful. Waaaah.” I had to promise him some Ribena and Ice-cream after the haircut and hairwash.
- Sister is away with her family on vacation so Dad and her maid is here. I experience what its like to have a live-in full time maid. She is a good cook. That is the best part.
- Dad will not bathe. Its been like this for months now. We all have a headache of trying to get him to bathe and change and… He gets up in the morning and doesÂ nothing and says not much but sit on the sofa or lie on the sofa till its bedtime. I managed to get him to soak his dentures andÂ brush it for him while he is asleep. I managed to get him to change so that I could wash his clothes otherwise he would wear the same clothes day in and day out and to sleep as well. It pains me when he looks at me for confirmation each time “Put this (the dentures) in here is it?” “Take out this shirt is it?” It pains me to watch dad this way. Big sister managed to get him to bathe last week but I haven’t tried yet.
- Am having a cold war with the man of the house because he won’t attend yet another family gathering of mine. I know he hates these gatherings but we’ve only been to two this year. It is now December. I so wanted to bring the kids. I am very disappointed. I hate asking him to attend my family gatherings. I hate being hopeful and then being let down. The answer is usually no but I never learn. I am always hopeful then usually disappointed. I hate cold wars. I don’t normally go to sleep angry with the spouse but I am disappointed and I am tired. Sigh.
- Because I am upset and unhappy suddenly all is not right with my world. Its funny isn’t it how our perception of things can change. From being content I suddenly feel like a recluse who is totally dependant on her spouse for transport and entertainment.
- Maybe I will go and subscribe for that magazine I like. I haven’t bought myself anything in ages. I think I need some pampering, pampering by me. I look at all the wonderful fragances and other promotions for Christmas. If only I could pamper myself with some of those without giving a thought but I can’t. A magazine subscription will have to do. At least it’ll make me happy each month.
- Sometimes he makes me feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I wish he wouldn’t do that and he wishes that I am more supportive. This isÂ a typical Â He says She says situation. We’re both thinking different things. When will we meet in our heads again? When will we find harmony again? We all need harmony in our lives. The kids can help sometimes. Kids can become a glue to a relationship yet they can also be the wall. Fortunately our set is often the glue.
- I chatted with my friend today. She has been sick again and she still can’t decide whether to have a hysterectomy to remove cancerous cells.Â She sounds cheerful.Â She makes dark jokes. I hope she is well. I hope she will know what to do.
- The weather is dark and gloomy, like my mood. I don’t normally rant on my blog but I guess it has helped to rant a little.
- I feel better now.