Why are you a SAHM, WAHM, FTWM etc?


Why are you a SAHM, WAHM, FTWM etc? Is it what you want?

I am a SAHM because it is what I want. I love it that the only thing I need to think about before I go to sleep each night is what to cook the next day. Yes, I am that shallow! Hahaha. I don’t have to worry about the first thing in the morning meeting or flight, or worry that the bus that I hired won’t turn up on time for my 30 training participants, or practise that talk I have to make the next day or spend a sleepless night because the market is down 100 points again. Nosiree! Thinking about what to cook the next day is much much better. It gives me more focus when I am reading and chatting to my kids at bedtime. I am not distracted by my own work stresses.

I am happy to be around for my kids when they need me. It is a pleasure to greet them when they come home from school. It is a pleasure to feed, bathe and nap with them. It is good to be able to help them with their schoolwork etc.

Some people tell me, but you’re lucky that you can afford it. Thats not true. If I were working, we’d probably have a higher standard of living. However I don’t think about the bigger house we could be living in or the better cars that we could be driving or the many other things that we will be able to afford with more money because it is my choice and I am happy with my choice. 

I know many SAHMs who are unhappy because it is not what THEY wanted. Its what their spouse or family wants. There are also FTWMs who are unhappy because it is not what THEY want. Its because of circumstance.

On the other hand I also know people who are FTWM because its what THEY wanted. Its not because of the money, they tell me. “If I had to stay at home the whole day like you, I’d go mad!” they say. Well, in that case they had better stay FTWM but they should not complain about the stresses of being one then because its what THEY wanted. I know many FTWM who have very full schedules but still manage to have very close relationships with their kids and they don’t complain about how stressful it is juggling a job and a family because it is what THEY want.

What we want must also match what our spouse wants. I believe that at first my spouse would probably prefer it if I worked. Nevertheless, he says that he will support me in my choice and despite his earlier preference, I think he is now secretly happy that he has me at home taking care of the kids this closely. We don’t have to worry about one of us having to take time off work when the kids are sick or having to make alternative arrangements for transport etc because I am always available. He is happy that I have the time to look after the kids and can coach and teach them myself instead of sending them to some after school care centers that seem to have sprouted out everywhere due to the demand for it.

I just hope that for most of us, we are where we are because it is what we want instead of it being due to circumstances or being forced upon us. Because we can only become happy and better mums if we are happy individuals.

Tell me blogger mommies, are  you happy with where you are now? Is your spouse happy about it?

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16 thoughts on “Why are you a SAHM, WAHM, FTWM etc?

  1. I’m truly happy and content with what I have now. The joy of being with my children , to be able to actively involve with them, is indescribable. No regret, no complaint. It’s my choice, not by any circumstances or being force too. I guess I’m lucky. Very lucky. 😀

    We complain about being with the kids 24/7 occassionaly but deep down inside, theres nowhere we’d rather be. 😀

  2. Frankly I enjoy being FTWM, mostly because I enjoy my working life.

    Though sometimes I would like to spend more time with the kids, that’s why I took leave to spend time with them, or the weekends.

    I always try to finish my work on time or arrange my work in such, so that I can (most of the time with a few exceptions)leave office on time, to be at home, that’s my family time.

    I used to think that I would want to quit and stay at home. However, after much thought about it, I don’t I can both financially and mentally prepared for it.

    Thats great! Enjoy having the best of both worlds then. 🙂

  3. I am not happy being a partime SAHM but due to finance, we cannot rely singly on my hubby’s income and I have to work partime.

    If I could be a full time SAHM, I would be happy! Provided no need to worry about money ….

    But you’re working on it, right? All the best. 🙂

  4. I am happy being a FTWM and my husband is happy with that too. I am those who will go insane and then drive my children, husband up the wall if I am a SAHM. I enjoy my work so much so that I do not see it as work…but being paid to do something I enjoy. As strange as it may sound, I think work makes me a better mum than if I stay home.

    But frankly, I have a job that gives me a lot of flexi time. In other words, I still get to send and pick the boys from school (which is very important to me as this are the little moments in the day that I look forward to as I get to spend some moments with them), take them to doctor when they are not well and if needs be – stay at home to take care of them.

    No, I don’t think it sounds strange at all and its great that you have flexi hours. 🙂

  5. Yup, family harmony is so important. My hubby and I are happy with the current situation.

    I’m definitely a SAHM but as I still have my handmade accessories with me, occasionally I would be going for bazaars to clear them. So I’m a part-time working mom too….at the same time I am a WAHM….because I am earning through my blog….so I’m a 3-in-one…like instant coffee….not fantastic but drinkable *laugh*

    How exciting Angeline. I wish I could make some handmade accessories to sell too! Anyway, here’s a toast to you, with my 3-in-one coffee. Haha.

  6. I’m an odd soul 🙂 I’m a predominately SAHM, with occasional wAHM moments 🙂

    I think the mistake is thinking that you have to STAY at home all the time wor. You aren’t STUCK at home, esp if you have a car seat and use it 😀 I dunno. There are days I go nuts, there are good days. Hubby is in full support. Its funny how people think that you have to be “richer” to be a SAHM. we can’t “afford” me not working but it depends on whether you want to “change your lifestyle” lor.

    I think benefits will come in the long term 🙂

    I don’t feel STUCK at home at all. Afterall, home is where the heart is. 🙂

  7. I am a FTWM because of circumstances and not because it is something I want. I’d prefer to be a WAHM so that I’d be there for my little boy at all times and still be able to earn some income to supplement my husband’s income.
    It is really heartbreaking for me to see my son’s sad face each time I drop him off at the babysitter’s…

    Oh dear, could you plan or work towards being a WAHM then? Anyway, kids are really resilient, usually they show a sad face but the moment you’re gone they’re playing happily again and have forgotten about us. They’re really good at tugging at our emotional heart strings. Maybe if you think of it this way, you won’t feel so bad to drop him at the babysitter’s.

  8. Well, we talked about me being a full time SAHM IF we have #3. Childcare is exorbitantly expensive here. If I work, all the money will go to childcare; so might as well stay home with the kids. But the again, I love being at work and get my 8 hrs of ME time. Luckily for me, I’ve been with the company long enough to know where and when to slack off. 😛 Are we happy with our current situation? We would have to say yes.

    If you are the kind who is happy with your 8 hours of ME time, I think you’d go mad being at home with 3! Hahaha.

  9. I think I enjoy being a FTWM becuase of the nature of my job. Get the pay and also get to work from 7am to 4 pm only.

    That leave me time for shopping in the early evening for groceries so that I can cook for dinner. Else I just go home and CHILL….

    Any other job and perhaps I won’t be in the same frame of mind.

    Thats lovely Ann. 🙂

  10. I like being a WAHM now, but before..when I just a real SAHM without an income, I mean “my real income” :)hmm… it could made me almost desperate sometimes. I’m a type of woman that feel comfortable if I have my own income.
    So for me, I would do anything happily as a mom to my kids if I also have my own income! Just take care 3 kids and family without $$ come to my own pocket could make me insane! haha…

    You don’t like to put out your hand and ask hubby for some pocket money like a little girl do you? Haha.

  11. Hahah..poor ChinNee..she has double work now! but double love!

    Me…I like being a SAHM. But, I think when my kids are bigger, I will be working again. Can’t help it..I smell blood……mua hahahahaahaha….

    Luckily, here it’s bloody flexible..you can find many part time work (within school hours somemore)!

    Oh, lucky you. You just had to rub it in didn’t you? Hahaha.

  12. Donno why so many category. I am a mother full stop.

    True. However, since there are categories, I find that the different categories tend to view the other category rather suspiciously at times. Hahaha.

  13. I enjoy working on my own schedule. You can call it part-time, flexi-time. I can never be a SAHM. I would go crazy.

    Being able to be on your own schedule is the best thing in the world. 🙂

  14. I’m a SAHM but with a very flexible part time job (working from home). Though life can be quite crazy at times (esp during month end), I think both of us are happy with the current arrangement. 🙂

    I hope one day, I can work from home. That would be lovely. But I don’t know what I could do. haha.

  15. I’m a FTWM but this is not what i truly want. Well, there’re certain aspects of working as a professional that keep me going but at the end of the day, i don’t think this is my ‘calling’. I’ve always dreamed of becoming a SAHM one day – but lack courage to take the giant step. Your sharing has truly inspired me in many ways. I always whine abt my workload and having to cope with both a demanding job and 2 kids – i guess when you’re not at peace with your inner self, u can nvr be happy no matter how your external situation is, right? Thanks for the sharing … btw i just stumbled upon your blog and found it very enlightening 🙂

    Hi! Thanks for dropping by my blog and reading. 🙂

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