Today …. marks 3 years from that day my body played an April Fool’s Joke on me and gave me 3 seizures in a day.
I can look at it in 2 ways…
- I can be unhappy about it when I look back and reflect or
- I can be thankful that everything is under control now
I choose no. 2.
Today….. dad has another awakening. “Awakening” means we get the old dad back for a day or two. The old dad that dementia took away from us. The last time he had an awakening was on March 13. On that day, he took out his angpow packets and started packing all the angpows for all the birthdays that is coming up soon for any of his children or grandchildren so that he won’t forget. On that day, he “woke up” and said “Chinese New Year is over and I didn’t know it. I better pack all the angpows ready before I forget.”
He gave me the advanced angpow for my son’s birthday in April. Upon seeing this, my daughter quickly took out a piece of paper and wrote in Chinese… “Kong Kong, my birthday is on 21st May.” Then she slipped the note to kong kong.
Today, dad, remembers that day clearly as though it was yesterday. For him, it probably was ‘yesterday’. The rest of the days pass by in a blur to him. He tells me, “tell your daughter, I will remember her birthday. I know she was trying to get an advanced angpow from me too but unfortunately I did not have enough cash that day. I will definitely come for her birthday.”
Sadly, when that day comes, he may not remember it if it is not an awakening day. That is the way dad is. We get to see snippets of his old self about once or twice a month. On these days he will be so full of life, active and talkative, as if wanting to make up for all the lost time in between. He would not be able to sleep at night. Sometimes he calls up in the wee hours of the morning to chat. And after that he will be so tired, he will sleep for 2 days, only getting up for meals which he picks on without appetite and medication before falling back to sleep or not getting up for meals at all.
I can look at it 2 ways….
- Sad at having lost dad to dementia or
- Happy that he is otherwise in good health and we still get to see him the way he is before dementia every once in a while
I choose no. 2