We get these sorts of crazy questions all the time as parents don’t we?
My daughter asked me this question last night and I told her….
“No. Mummy loves you all the time. Mummy started loving you even when you were in my tummy. I started taking care of myself then by eating good food, lots of vegetables and fruits so that you could get those good food too.”
Which led to a barrage of more questions about whether I became hungry when she ate the good food that I ate and whether she had to open her mouth to eat etc. I answered them all, and then a happy smiling girl hugged me, looked up at me and said “mummy loves me…. I love mummy too.” (The I love mummy too came out very softly because she is not as expressive in affection as her little brother is.) The little brother often jumps on me and says “I love mummy sooooooo much” or “I love mummy very much.” However, the girl is often angry at mummy and has said “I love daddy more” or “I don’t love mummy” before. Sometimes she cries after saying “I don’t love mummy” as if guilty for feeling that way. She does not say it in anger but rather truthfully. I suppose it is because I am constantly scolding her. I would tease her and say “Actually you love mummy but you are just angry with mummy, that is all.” which would make her tear up even more.
So this is a special moment for us because it is infrequent. I don’t know why but somehow there is some sort of barrier between me and my girl whereas with my boy, we have a very easy and relaxed relationship. I love them both equally. There is no favouritism. It is something I can’t quite explain but I find that I have to work harder to reestablish a bond with my girl, a bond that has somehow become lessened somewhere along the way between toddlerhood and preschool stage.
I digressed. Then we joked a bit and laughed hard till we bended over, and we laughed harder because she said “mummy, look we laughed till we bowed down each time.” Then we tried a slow motion laugh and bow and a fast motion laugh and bow which was all very silly but to her it was a lot of fun.
I read this excerpt from an old school newsletter. It says…
“You cannot be too loving. When it comes to genuine expressions of warmth and affection, you cannot love your child too much. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love-things like leniency, lowered expectations or material possessions.”
How true. Likewise, I believe that you cannot spoil a baby by picking baby up when it cries. From babyhood to toddlerhood, to preschooler, grade school, teenager, adulthood. Each stage passes by so quickly. I am glad I rocked and carried and patted my babies for they are babies no longer and I would have missed those wonderful bonding moments if I hadn’t.