Sometimes You Have To Say What You Want To Get What You Want

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and if I hadn’t said anything, no one would have remembered. So before the date, I marked it down on the spouse’s calendar who reminded the kids on the day. Sneaky, yes? Well, if you don’t say it, you won’t get it.

We don’t usually celebrate occasions very much. I know the spouse gets all stressed up just thinking of what to buy and how to celebrate. It just isn’t him. So, this year I decided to spare him and make myself happy at the same time. Sometimes you have to say what you want to get it.

May and June is a peak celebration month for us. We have the girl’s birthday, my birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, our wedding anniversary, mid-year school holidays. This year its our 15th anniversary and my 50th birthday. Lots of reasons to celebrate.

So, I decided to have a one-in-all celebration. There’s no point going out on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day and rushing with the mad crowd. The kids are in the midst of exams and they are too busy studying.

So I wrote down all the upcoming important dates and brought it to my spouse. I could see his worried frown as I proceeded to announce all the upcoming dates. I could see him thinking of how on earth he was going to celebrate all of those dates so near to each other. Poor guy!

Finally, I told him that I would really like for him to take me to that place that he took me when we were dating and I gave him two dates to select. Both of these dates fall during the upcoming school holidays. We will have our all-in-one celebration then, my girl’s birthday, mummy’s 50th birthday, our 15th year wedding anniversary, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

Of course he couldn’t say no. So now everyone’s happy. We’ll get to go to the place that I want, we get to celebrate, we’ll avoid all the crowds, we’ll save from eating out just once instead of 5 times and the man, well, he was simply relieved.

The moral of the story? Do not fret and become unhappy because your spouse is not the type to remember important occasions. Remind him and tell him what you want BEFORE the event, not pout and argue AFTER the event that was forgotten and not celebrated.






Top 10 Gifts for Women in their 40s

This post gives you ideas on what to give a woman in her 40s. If your wife, spouse, girlfriend or other half is in her 40s, you will get some interesting gift ideas here.

Top 10 Gifts for Women 40 for birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Christmas or other holidays and celebrations

What do women like? What sort of gifts to buy for your spouse, wife, girlfriend, other half? Well, I am going to help you by giving you ideas of the Top 10 Gifts for Women over 40. You can use these gift ideas for Valentine’s Day, for her special birthday, Christmas or other occasions.

Oh, do feel free to use these gift ideas for women in their 20s, 30s and 50s as well. These gifts are universal and only a woman will be able to tell what another woman will like. Somehow, all the men I and my girl friends know always seem to get it wrong when it comes to gift giving.

This post is for all those who think that buying gifts for women is hard. Well, here are a few tips for you on what to buy and what not to buy for a woman.

Get Interesting Gift Ideas here.

Check Out These Best Gift Ideas For Her That Will Surely Melt Her Heart. Although Geared For The Women In Her 40s They Are Also Good For Women Of Any Age.

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #1

Never buy a woman a household appliance as a gift!

Household appliances are for the house not a woman!

It is really puzzling to me why men like to buy women household appliances as a birthday gift or a gift for other celebrations. Household appliances are for the house not a woman!

My spouse is one of those men. I have received a fruit juice extractor from him and in return I made him some fruit juice which he loves. Hmm…. maybe that was the idea…

I have received an iron and even a refrigerator from my spouse too.

I keep on telling him I don’t like receiving these gifts but he never gets it. Hopefully this lens will end my endless supply of household appliances. I’ve had it with getting a microwave oven or a vacuum cleaner and other household appliances as a gift.

No, not even if it is an Intelligent Robotic Vacuum Cleaner. Hmm… on second thoughts, perhaps I may consider that. Ok. Ok. Women are a little fickle but overall, please do not give us household appliances as a gift. It really sucks.. unless it is a robotic vacuum cleaner. I don’t mind having this black floor cleaning robot which is currently the #1 best selling robotic vacuum on Amazon.

Buying Gifts for Women. Tip #2

Psst. Girls like gadgets too! Consider them as a gift. In fact they fall under the Top 3 in my Gifts for Women list.

Top Gift for a Woman – An iPad latest generation is a lovely gift for a woman on the go


A woman over 40 is in the prime of her life. She is confident, always on the go and frequently multitasking.

She definitely needs an iPad 4th Generation to keep in touch, to organize her life for both work and play.

A tablet computer is top on my wish list and is perfect as a gift for a woman. Make sure it comes with a vibrant cover that reflects her personality and gift wrap it with a ribbon please.

If You Get An iPad, Don’t Forget The Accessories, Women Love Accessories

Top 2 Gift for a Woman – A Kindle is perfect for the woman who loves to read

Woman in their 40s hate clutter. You can help her get rid of clutter by getting her a kindle to organize all her reading material in one convenient place.

A Kindle is small, light and fast, just like the woman on the go. Not only that, with the Kindle Fire she will have access to millions of movies, TV shows, songs, books and games. Psst… you have  to make sure she does not end up loving her Kindle more than you!

Oh, and do make sure you pick a personalized elegant accessory and gift wrap it with a ribbon please.

Appearances make so much difference to a gift. A small handwritten or homemade card on the gift box would complete it and make this a perfect gift for a woman.

Kindle Fire HDX 7″ BUY NOW!

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #3

Always make sure you gift wrap your present. Appearances are very important. It shows that you have given the gift much thought, even if you asked the store to wrap it for you. 😉

Top 3 Gift for a Woman – Smile! You’re on camera! A digital camera is just right for the woman who values her relationship and memories

A woman in her 40s has many friends, family, children, and other relations. She likes to go places. Perhaps she even has a blog. All that means she needs to have a powerful digital camera like the Canon Powershot to record down all her memories in dazzling color and brilliant detail.

Yes! Women love gadgets too! A digital camera is perfect as a birthday or other gift for a woman.

If you know a woman in her 40s who loves social media, then she will be over the moon when you get her a digital camera with wifi capabilities and comes with and extendable selfie monopod stick.  So she can take all the selfies and wefies she wants to and post them on social media to share via wifi. This will put a big smile on her face for sure!

Nikon Coolpix S7000 Wi-Fi Digital Camera BUY NOW!

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #4

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend….. but if you can’t afford diamonds, a woman will be happy to receive other multi stone or crystal jewelry sets as a gift.

Cubic Zirconia Gemstone Jewelry Set BUY NOW!

Can’t afford diamonds? Nevermind. Crystal Jewelry, Gemstone Jewelry or Cubic Zirconia Jewelry sets will be perfectly fine as a gift for a woman.

Women love jewelry. Jewelry instantly changes the appearance of any garment and gives a woman a new look. They are a very important accessory for a woman.

When buying jewelry for a woman, you can choose jewelry sets or just one item. If selecting just one item as a gift for a woman, a ring will be the most romantic of them all.

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #5

Men are visual creatures. Women are olfactory. A fragrance as a gift for a women can never go wrong.

J’adore Scent Collection 4 Piece Set BUY NOW!

Top 5 Gift for a Woman – Fragrance make a lovely gift for women

If you are not sure of what fragrance to give to the woman in her 40s, you can try mini perfume sets. Many perfume brands have mini perfume sets comprising all the best in their fragrances. For example, this Christian Dior J’adore Scent Collection 4 Piece Set allows the woman to try out the J’adore Dior perfumes before buying a favorite. They are nice on the dresser and easy to carry along for travels or short trips.

You can’t go wrong with a set of perfumes. There ought to be at least one scent that she likes out of the several minis. This gives the recipient woman in her 40s a chance to sample different fragrances to suit her different moods and is perfect for wearing on various occasion.

A Mini Perfume Set Gives A Woman Variety In Cute Little Packaging Which Women Loves

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #6

When buying cosmetics for women, make sure you buy Cosmetics and NOT Skincare sets. They are not the same. Cosmetics or Makeup beautify a woman, skincare maintains the skin. Therefore cosmetics are more romantic.

Top 6 Gift for a Woman – Give a woman the gift of beauty

Makeup or Cosmetics make great gifts for a woman. Make that an entire make-up set. This ESTEE LAUDER BLOCKBUSTER GOLD MAKEUP SET TRAIN CASE as a gift will thrill a woman as she checks out all the little items.

Estee Lauder Blockbuster Gold Makeup Set BUY NOW!

Don’t Know How Or What Makeup To Buy? Then Get A Blockbuster Set. It Includes Everything A Woman Needs

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #7

Never ever give a woman Gift Certificates. Gift Certificates show that you have not given much thought to the gift or the recipient and it is a last resort last minute kind of thing which women hates.

Top 7 Gift for a Woman – A gift basket of her favorite things

Spa Perfect -Women’s Spa Gift Basket BUY NOW!

That’s right. A gift basket. Gift basket aren’t only for sending to newborns or when visiting the sick. A gift basket of all her favorite things will make the perfect gift for a woman.

She will delight in checking out all the stuff you have in there whether its food, chocolate, spa bath and body gift basket or other nick knacks.

Remember, it is the small things in life which counts. It is the same with gifts. A few small things put together is more exciting than a big gift at times. Include ribbons, bears, flowers, chocolates and other romantic stuff will make your gift basket even more complete!

Gift baskets can be romantic. They need not be given to mothers for mothers day only. They can be given to a woman for as a birthday gift or for a wedding anniv

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #8

You can’t go wrong with flowers. Or you can simply add a stalk of flower to whatever gift you are giving to a woman to make the gift even more complete with a touch of romance to the gift.

Top 8 Gift for a Woman – Flowers are an everlasting romantic gift for a woman

Even though a woman may brush it aside and say, flowers are a waste of money, she will still love it if you give her flowers. Or you could do it differently and give her a flower birthday cake!

Flowers are romantic. Flowers are evergreen. Flowers are forever. Flowers are sweet…. like a woman.

Don’t forget the wine and chocolate to go with that. Flowers always go with wine or chocolate

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Top 9 Gift for a Woman – An Elegant and Classy Handbag to put all those lovely gifts you bought for her

Don’t attempt to buy garments or shoes for a woman even if you know her size because different clothing and different shoe styles have different fit. It is safer to go for accessories when choosing a gift for a woman.

A classy or elegant handbag is the most useful accessory of them all. If you are not sure about the color, go for basics like black, navy blue or nude because these colors match easily and they are evergreen.

Coach Handbag Carryall Tote in Crossgrain Leather (Nude) BUY NOW!

Handbags Are More Personal. So Check Out The Current Handbag She Is Carrying First To Know Her Taste

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #9

Don’t buy a woman a dress or shoes unless you know her size. Dresses and shoes need to be tried on so if you want to buy those items for a woman, take her shopping instead.

A woman in her 40s is at the prime of her life. She is active and she multitasks at work, at home, with the children, household and family. She has to run around a lot. It would be really nice to get her a Shiatsu Massage Chair to relax after a hard day’s work.

Can’t afford to get a massage chair? Don’t worry, there are plenty of massage chair pads or cushion which will do the job nicely at a fraction of the cost.

Massage Chair Recliner BUY NOW!

Buying Gifts for Women Tip #10

Here is a bonus tip for you. Buy anything ‘couple’ or that has a ‘his’ and ‘hers’ label. Couple gifts are very romantic.

Bonus Gift Tip

I like this article How to be Romantic by Samuel Stoddard. It is pretty amusing but it does have some truth it it. Go check it out.

Tip: A His and Hers Something whether it is a towel set, a matching necklace or Couple Rings, matching couple t-shirts or mugs always work as a romantic gift for a woman for wedding anniversaries.

You could also get an Eternity Ring An eternity ring symbolizes never-ending love and is great as a gift from a husband to his wife on a wedding anniversary. It is a band of precious metal set with a continuous line of identically cut gemstones to show eternal love.

Diamond Are A Girl’s Best Friend And That Includes A Girl In Her 40s

1.00 Carat (ctw) 14K Gold Round Diamond Eternity Ring BUY NOW!

The ultimate gift for a woman of any age is a diamond ring for any reason. The mother of all gifts for women of any age, a diamond ETERNITY RING tops it all!

Super Mom Tee

Super Mom Tee

Super Mom Tee

Super Mom, Super Wife, Super Tired. That’s what this T-Shirt for Moms says and that’s what I am feeling at the moment. That’s what I think I’ve tried to do. I’ve always tried my best to be a good mom and a good wife but some days, I’m just super tired like today. Must be due the April Fool effect.

I’m tired. It’s not easy trying to live up to the high expectations of your spouse. The man thinks I don’t support him, when the kids do not behave it’s always MY fault. I’m so tired, really tired. What about me? What about my own dreams and aspirations. I am very excited about a project I am working on at the moment but who cares about it? No one accept me. I am so excited about it I want to burst but the kids are too young to understand and when I show it to the man, he is not very interested as I had expected.  He is more interested in me not spending too much time on it at the expense of the family.

Anyway, I don’t want to write about this too much. Writing negatively makes me think more negatively which only results in me being more upset which is why all my spaces online are positive ones. No ranting. I’m going to need some exercises to work off these bad feelings. In fact, I think I’m going to need to run a half marathon to work this one off.

No negatives. Only positives. So I’m going to forget about my Super Mom Tee and stick a 13.1 sticker on my current t-shirt instead to remind myself to work off the negative vibes.

Mother’s Day is coming soon. I’m not expecting anything from the family. The kids are always still too young and the father never makes an effort to “go get something for mom” so I’m just going to make myself happy by working on my project quietly. Oops! I forgot. I started ranting again. That’s no good. I’m going to go go run a half marathon now instead. A good sweat is what I need right now.


Am I The Only One To Feel This Way

“Am I The Only One To Feel This Way?” Have you ever asked yourself this question. I think at some point of our lives we would all have asked this soul searching question. Sometimes having to ask ourselves this make us feel even more alone somehow.

I have asked this question many times before. I was a lonely teenager. My mom died when I was 10. Father was too busy with work and making sure the 5 of us siblings had a good education. I had to grow up fast on my own. Due to the nature of Father’s job, (Father was a policeman), we had to go wherever he was stationed or transferred. This meant that I had to change schools often. I felt like a nomad.

I was fortunate that dad was stationed at the same place for the first 15 years so at least I had some stability during my early school years. I stayed at 4 different states when I was 15, 16, 17 and 18. Each year was different. I had to adept by making new friends in new circumstances and surroundings. It didn’t help that I was shy and taciturn. When I was 17, I didn’t have my family around me. I stayed with my father’s sisters. I was the only one there. Between my 5 siblings and my dad, we were all living in 5 different states. We were all in different places, separated.

I was lonely. I cried a lot. It was during this time that I made a good friend. She is Kopi Soh. Kopi Soh and I used to dream together. We dreamed of helping others. We also dreamed of writing. I am so proud that Kopi Soh has done what we dreamed about. She helps others a lot in her line of work ie counselling. She has also written an e-book and is in the process of finalising another one.

Her first e-Book is called “Oh, I Thought I Was The Only One”. The book is for everyone who has ever asked or is asking that question. Am I the Only One To Feel This Way? It will make you feel less alone knowing you are not the only one. The book is in the form of personal real life stories with Kopi Soh’s insightful comments and thoughts based on her counselling background. Kopi Soh has a Masters in Psychology, Specializing in Marriage, Family and Child Counseling. Her area of specialty is in working with children, adolescents, couples and families.

Here are some excerpts from the book “Oh I Thought I Was The Only One”

Finding Meaning in Your Personal Struggles…

  • “Do I Dare To Be Me?”

  • “Do You Ever Feel Alone… Sometimes?”

  • “Why Can’t People Understand Me?”

  • “Aarggggh! I can’t stop snacking at night!”

  • “I Hate The Way I Look”


  • “A friendship that almost destroyed me”

  • “How Do You Know He Loves You, And Not Her?”


  • “People Say Marriage Is A Beautiful Thing… But Is It Really?”

  • I Am Your Wife, Not Your Mother!!”

  • “Help! My Husband is a Pefectionist!”


  • “Teaching Your Teenager How To Care About Others”

Growing Old…

  • “When Did I Become Old?”

Coming to Terms with yourself….

  • “Go Ahead, Do Not Be Afraid To Be Happy…”

Plus MUCH more!

I am proud and pleased to offer this book to anyone who visits this page at a special price plus 2 audio gifts. Here’s what you get for just $9.90


Self Help Book

Self Help Book

The e-book “Oh I Thought I Was The Only One” which retails at $37.00

Relaxing Music

Relaxing Music

Relaxing Music Collection (Worth $19.95)

Ambient Sounds

Ambient Sounds

Ambient Sounds Collection (Worth $19.95)

You read that right. You’ll get all 3 for just $9.90 Check it out. Click on the link below.


“Oh, I Thought I Was The Only One”


We are all not alone even in our deepest moments of loneliness. Sometimes it helps just to read an inspiring book and listen to some relaxing music.

The Way We Were Raised

We were raised very differently, my spouse and I. He was brought up in a strict manner. His parents were strict on food, strict on toys, strict on studies. As for me, mom died when I was 10. Dad was a policeman and he had 5 of us to look after in addition to making sure we had enough money for our education etc. I don’t think he had very much time to ponder on how we were being raised. So I was left pretty much to myself.

It is because of this difference in the way that we were raised that constantly comes up between us when we are trying to raise our own kids. It is not that we want it that way but it is hard to change our values and the way we were brought up ourselves. For example, the spouse believes in pushing the kids in their studies. He wants them to have the values of doing the best that they can. He wants them to learn that they have to work hard for what they want. Nothing wrong with that. These are good values to have.

However, it causes challenges for me. I want the kids to have time to be kids. To play and be happy. So, I the primary caregiver since I am at home with them most of the time, am not meeting up to his standards of working hard. For instance, during the school holidays he wants me to sit down and do revision with the kids. His reasoning is I should do so otherwise they will have a hard time when school starts. (and this is true).  If we don’t take the opportunity to do some work during the holidays, quite often we have a hard time catching up in school during school days but I reasoned that if we work them hard during the holidays too, then when will they ever have a holiday? When will they ever get time to play?

Of course the spouse being the family man that he is tries to make sure they have time to play as well. He makes time for them, takes them to the movies, out to the mall etc. Still, I feel a little bit stressed and worked up every time he asks me “So, did you all do some work today?” and the pressure to get good results is very high during exam periods. Recently, my girl did not do very well for her essay papers in Chinese and Malay. I told him that she had worked very hard and his “You must not only work hard but work smart” resonates in my ears and in my heart.

I am not a very good teacher. I feel so overwhelmed looking at all the things that they don’t know and I don’t know where to start. We seem to go around in circles. It is really hard trying to teach the kids 3 languages plus Maths and Science. The spouse teaches the kids Maths and Science so that helps but getting them to be good in 3 languages? That’s really really tough. Sigh. This post was tough to write too. I don’t know how to put my thoughts into words the way I usually am able to. I’m rambling. Its all wrong. 🙁

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